Sometimes you just need to scream!!!

[NJmike PE]

honestly, knowing this woman I should have expected that she would have taken this route if and when there came a time that we didn't need her to watch the kids anymore.

 

[NJmike PE]

Sounds like MIL needs to acknowledge that she became completely dependent on income from watching her grandkids. It's tough for anybody to take a $800/month hit, but like you said she certainly has a responsibility to stand on her on two feet. Based on your narrative MIL should be contrite with you and not angry, especially when she told you she was not prepared to handle #3. What are you supposed to do hire her an assistant?

Lots of drama Mike. Best wishes to you and the Mrs to weather the storm.

I like your style MA.

 

[NJmike PE]

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvpSP4fIz_U

the last 13 seconds is the conversation that I need to have with my wife.

 

[Ship Wreck PE]

She really wants to move in.

 

[NJmike PE]

She really wants to move in.

then it's a good thing that every room is occupied. No room at the inn.

 

[Ship Wreck PE]

My sister in law moved in with us for a year and it was really bad. I finally told wife she could get a puppy if she got rid of sister. We had a new puppy three days later.

 

[Master slacker]

I thought so too. Many told me that I was nuts, esp since she really didn't do a damn thing to help out w/ #3 after birth. I'm pretty sure I could have put that extra $2400 to better use.

Could've built a trebuchet... MIL size...

 

[NJmike PE]

see. now that's putting my resources to good use.

 

[Road Guy]

yikes that sucks! I think excpet for the very few that have awesome relationships with their parents ( maybe 3 people on the planet?) your better of just findig a way to suck it up and not ask for help..

My wife used to work 3 to 4 days a month when our 3 were little and maybe 5 times I asked my mom to watch the kids over a 2 year period and every time it was just fucking misereable.. shouldnt be that way......

 

[Supe]

Luckily, my parents have seemed to get better as the years trudge on. Granted, I almost never see them, but even as far as phone conversations go. Now that my father is retired, mother is semi-retired, their attitudes seem to be improved. I think the real turning point was having both my sister and myself dealing with cancer at the same time roughly 8 years back - really taught them to let loose a little bit and stop harping over the little shit.

 

[engineergurl]

Mom and Dad drove from PA to my younger sisters (2 hours north of their house) yesterday so they could stay with her new baby during a funeral (her husbands aunt). Then drove home that night, so my Dad could drive to my older sisters (5 hours south of their house) so he can drive her kids to and from school the next two days. After which he will drive back up to PA, pick up Mom and drive back to my younger sisters because their kid is getting baptized this weekend. I have not seen Mom and Dad since last summer, and while when I REALLY REALLY REALLY need him, my Dad will come, the times I ask are far and few between. (I can think of five times since my high school graduation)

 

[Road Guy]

are you the middle sister?

 

[engineergurl]

are you the middle sister?

yup. older is 3 years older than me, younger is 5 years younger

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Middle siblings are always the neglected ones. Oldest gets half the attention because we're the first, youngest get the other half because they're the baby. Middle is just kinda there. At least that's what my brother says...

It's another reason we only had 2 kids.

 

[engineergurl]

Mom said it was because I was the most independent and don't need them as much.

 

[YMZ PE]

One couple I know spaced their kids apart so the two oldest are 8 and 7, and the rest are 2 and 1. I think the 2 year old has it worst since she's nowhere near the oldest but not the baby either. She's a bit wild but she's my favorite.

 

[Road Guy]

My wife is the oldest, but since she married me during her freshman year of college we were sort of outcasts,

its a sucky feeling for sure.. my in laws will spend weeks at the other two kids houses doing all kinds of things for them, insall tile, kitchen cabinets, fence posts, paint, etc..

I dont think mine have ever done anything when they visit but use us as a bed and breakfeast whilen they visited all their friends..

sucks that I know I will have to waste my money to fly back and see them at some point in time..

 

[NJmike PE]

My wife used to work 3 to 4 days a month when our 3 were little and maybe 5 times I asked my mom to watch the kids over a 2 year period  and every time it was just fucking misereable.. shouldnt be that way......

You're absolutely right. Shouldn't be anywhere near that way. It's like they forget how difficult it is raising small kids. She used to make us keep the kids home if they had a basic cold. We were always hearing shit from work for all the PTO taken due to our kids being "sick".

 

[YMZ PE]

This must be a cultural thing. When I put MiniYMZ in daycare at 3 months old, my parents cried bloody murder and their friends pestered me about why I didn't trust my own parents to take care of her. Eventually we let them take care of the kids and I had to force them to take payment, which they promptly stuck in the kids' 529 plans.

That said, RG is right. It really shouldn't be the way you're describing.

 

[NJmike PE]

I know. It shouldn't. And knowing her, I should have foreseen it coming. Nothing ends well with her. Everything is an offense against her and everything is taken personally.