seems it would be more appropriate here (thank you for providing the direction to a newbe)
"very thirsty this morning, learned one important lesson last night. Don't chug stawberry milk and try and eat a two inch pb sandwich when you are that drunk... had to change my clothes and the sheets before going to sleep cause have a pint of milk came out my nose when I gagged on the Penut butter. Well off to go the the company employee appreciation picnic nice and hung over."
Although I'm also gonna leave the post in the drunk tank because my headach appears to be dull for the reason that I think I was/am still drunk when I woke up this morning. The thought enforced by falling flat on my face twice so far trying to get moving this morning, and once into the wall.... Ahhh well