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When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the executives turn this concept into a show.
Three's Company rocked! At least when Suzanne Somers was on it (she's still hot!)

 
I like the thing that Jimmy Valvano talked about before he died:

I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you're emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm," to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality.

My interpretation of this is that I have had a good day if I have laughed and cried and learned something. Live like you're dying.

 
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And will you be birthing them naturally from your new vagina, or will you go for a caesarian section?

 
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while, you realize that they like it .

 
You've mud wrestled with other engineers? Whoa.

Ironically enough, I have. In my Ohio State days with a roommate and two female MechE's, one female MechE of which was particularly well endowed.

 
You've mud wrestled with other engineers? Whoa.

Ironically enough, I have. In my Ohio State days with a roommate and two female MechE's, one female MechE of which was particularly well endowed.

You went to school with female MEs? I call shenanigans.

I kid you not. Quite a few, too. Behold, the benefits of taking engineering honors courses at the largest school in the country.

 
You've mud wrestled with other engineers? Whoa.

Ironically enough, I have. In my Ohio State days with a roommate and two female MechE's, one female MechE of which was particularly well endowed.

You went to school with female MEs? I call shenanigans.
"I swear to god I will pistol-whip the next guy who says shenanigans."

"Hey Favra, what's the name of that place you like to go that has all the **** on the walls?"

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This has been idle for WAY too long...

#25 is for RW...

2010 Top 25 Engineer's Terms and Expressions

(What we say versus what it means)

1. A number of different approaches are being tried.

We are still guessing at this point.

2. Close project coordination.

We sat down and had coffee together.

3. An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach.

We just hired three punk kids out of school.

4. Major technological breakthrough!

It works OK; but looks very hi-tech!

5. Customer satisfaction is believed assured.

We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything.

6. Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.

The damned thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. Test results were extremely gratifying!

Unbelievable, it actually worked!

8. The entire concept will have to be abandoned.

The only guy who understood the thing quit.

9. It is in process.

It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation is completely hopeless.

10. We will look into it.

Forget it! We have enough problems already.

11. Please note and initial.

Let's spread the responsibility for this.

12. Give us the benefit of your thinking.

We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we have already done or with what we are going to do.

13. Give us your interpretation.

We can't wait to hear your B.S. ideas.

14. See me or let's discuss.

Come to my office, I've screwed up again.

15. All new.

Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

16. Rugged.

Don't plan to lift it without major equipment.

17. Robust!

Rugged, but more so

18. Light weight.

Slightly lighter than rugged

19. Years of development.

One finally worked

20. Energy saving.

Achieved when the power switch is off.

21. No maintenance.

Impossible to fix

22. Low maintenance.

Nearly impossible to fix

23. Fax me the data.

I'm too lazy to write it down.

24. We are following the standard!

That's the way we have always done it!

25. I didn't get your e-mail.

I haven't checked my e-mail for days.

 
Another bump

My Job Hunt

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it...I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!---and LOVING it!!!

 
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