:Locolaugh: :Locolaugh: :Locolaugh:A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch.
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could
manage, he took himself to the doctor.
He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my
fiancée is still a virgin - in every way'
The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it
heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.'
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint,
and taped it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their
honeymoon.
That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her
beautiful breasts. She said, 'You're the first; no one has EVER touched
these.'
He immediately drops his pants and replies, .....'Look at this, ....
still in the CRATE!'
Let me guess.....Tim?????The other day my boss was talking on his cell phone and driving (still legal in TN). He came up to a red light and didn't notice how fast the large pickup in front of him was stopping, resulting in a minor fender bender. He promptly hung up and got out of his car only to see a dwarf hop out of the big truck and start charging at him, obviously upset.
When the other driver got wthin a few feet he said "I'll have you know I am not happy!"
To which my boss immediatly replied "Well, which one are you?"
Uhhh...daylight savings time is from the end of April until the end of October. Everybody loves it, because it stays light later.13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
My personal favorite!14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
me too, I don't see a problem with it.I do this all the time. No biggie.10. Never lick a steak knife.
I know several people like this, and I have always never fully trusted them....18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Eathy for you to thay!I do this all the time. No biggie.10. Never lick a steak knife.
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