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EB Mafia
- Thread starter ChebyshevII PE PMP
- Start date
Help Support Professional Engineer & PE Exam Forum:
you
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Guys. GUYS. I painted myself into a corner with this...and work was frickin' insane today (like, not good). Plus I'm officially trying to quarantine as much as I can before my testing prior to NY travel, so I'm kinda stressing about rescheduling stuff and whatever.
Uh. Let's see what happens.
---
New robe in their possession, as well as a duffle bag of money and valuables, @tj_PE felt that if they were going to die it would be a good time with all their needs and wants fulfilled. Shrugging on the robe from the dead body they had unburied, and ignoring @vhab49_PE's disgusted grunt, the thief scurried back into the Rubbermaid storage fortress. "So what's the plan?"
"There is no plan. I mean, we have giant cats behind us and religious zealots who won't let us leave in front of us. The only way out is probably by being cooked." @vhab49_PE responded resentfully. They had only been interested in joining @tj_PE because they thought they were swapping recipes, thus the baklava/balaclava mistake earlier this night. They weren't particularly invested in completing a few B&Es, but @tj_PEmade it seem so fun at the first house, before they started finding the bodies.
"Shhh-"
"Don't shush me! Being eaten is one of the ways I don't want to die! It's very high on my list!"
"No, no, shhh," @tj_PEslapped their hand over @vhab49_PE's mouth, squinting out the gap between the doors, "Look. They're coming."
From the neighboring lawn, the paired felines slunk through the flickering shadows. Their silver pelts, dappled with black, allowed them to almost seamlessly merge with the snow covered landscape. Small, bud-shaped ear swiveled back and forth from the dark woods to the exuberant screams and yelling from the rich people street-side. One of the cats nipped at the other's shoulder, gnawing gently for a moment before finishing with a grooming lick. The other cat, slightly bigger, tolerated the grooming as they moved slowly through the backyards.
They paused at the uncovered body in the snow and @tj_PE cursed under their breath. The smaller cat pawed at the body as the large one continued to stare at the street with unblinking eyes. When the smaller saber didn't start moving immediately, instead choosing to shuffle around the body, the larger one slumped over in that graceful way all cats do, sprawling on the cold ground as if basking in a beam of sun. @tj_PE and @vhab49_PE watched as the two animals did what animals usually did when not hungry: sleep or play.
The large one's amber eyes closed, eyes swiveling and tail nub flipping wildly, preparing for the attack that abruptly came from the side. The cats tussled for a few moments, which due to their bulk meant huge swaths of ripped up sod, before abruptly stopping and whipping towards the street at a bang. A muted hiss reached the hiding thieves ears as both cats ducked lower and, instead of moving into the next yard and continuing on their original path, instead crept closer to the house...which meant closer to @tj_PE and @vhab49_PE's location.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," @vhab49_PE chanted under their breath, in tandem with each footfall. "Fuck fuck fuck."
The smaller cat reached them first. Stopping abruptly, the nostrils flared and fur stood on end, smearing the black rosettes and spots that made up their fur pattern. The larger one continued another step before the process repeated, only this time the mouth opened slightly to scent the air, highlighting the length of the saber-shaped canines.
"Ah, fuck."
Before @tj_PE could break into hysterics, because obviously the robe had gone to their head, @vhab49_PE opened their own backpack and grabbed a tray of covered pigs-in-a-blanket. Grabbing a handful, and ignoring @tj_PE's 'what the fuck?' from behind, they tossed them into the snow.
It was a match for the ages. Squishy humans in a flimsy made pool toy container vs. apex predators from a prehistoric era who had become accustomed to eating humans vs. tiny hotdogs wrapped in Pillsbury croissant wedges.
Unsurprisingly. The hotdogs won.
A bleated vocalization came from the bigger animal as it chomped on the thrown hotdogs, taking a huge mouthful of snow at the same time. The other cat shoved the other out of the way and ate the remainder. Both cats turned huge luminous eyes on the Rubbermaid and, instead of attacking and dragging both thieves out to eat their brains (like every other incident tonight), they instead remained in the half crouched position and continued licking their lips.
So. It turns out prehistoric animals love saturated fats and manufactured foods just as much as current time animals.
@vhab49_PE threw a few more pigs-in-a-blanket out, thanking their lucky stars that they decided to splurge on the beef-version and not the pork-version that might have reminded the animals about the recently eaten people, before ignoring @tj_PE's silent plea not to, and shuffled into the big cats' view.
The smaller one paused for a moment, arching up, but the other one, big enough not to worry about being attacked, continued to eat the processed food. Upon seeing the rest of the treats getting vacuumed up, the smaller one quickly redirected their attention back to the food.
Seeing that @vhab49_PE hadn't been outright killed, and wanting to get it over sooner rather than later, @tj_PE snuck out as well. "Okay, okay, they're kinda cute when they're not killing archeologists, but we've got to get out of here. We still have those weirdos on the other end blocking the entrance."
"Well, I mean, obviously the cats were just hungry...After eating, what, 10 people, maybe they're a little more relaxed?" @vhab49_PE mused, tossing a huge chunk of fruitcake at the pair, which was promptly bit in half by the bulkier of the pair, who @vhab49_PE was already calling 'chonky boi' in their head, "With them occupied, can we maybe go out the back where we came?"
@tj_PE nodded. "If we don't have the cats running after us, that'll be the best way. Everyone else who is still alive seems to be here. Uh-"
Chonky Boi, disappointed at the lack of baked goods, had headbutted into @vhab49_PE's stomach, winding them, and was now vigorously licking at their backpack in an attempt to get more. Sliding their hands out from the straps, so they wouldn't be pulled to the ground, @vhab49_PE looked on in bemusement as the 1000+ lb animal circled them again with the bag awkwardly held in their mouth. The other cat abruptly turned, a snarl erupting from its throat.
"Ah, Smilodon populator, I knew it was too big to be a fatalis."
Speaking with the same voice as before, when they killed @DuranDuran, the robed figure walked back into the backyard. With a flick of the wrist, their sleeves pushed back to reveal the muscular arms of a paleontologist, nicked and scratched by countless digging. "I didn't think any survived the first culling. @MadamPirate PE picked off the subs and most of them, but looks like they missed the queen and mate." Cruel eyes took on the two cats and the two thieves, sizing them up as a group and finding them...lacking.
"That works for me. Makes them more rare and...who's to say that people won't buy some cute cubs in the future?" The man walked closer, hand reaching into his robe and pulled out a gun, firmly pointed at what was perceived to be the bigger threat: the huge male that was still semi-curled around @vhab49_PE. "In fact, who's to say that I can't keep one. You only need one to be famous. I can see it now: @ChebyshevII PE. The smilodon tamer. I'll be in all the textbooks. Nothing can stop me now. "
Without hesitation, @tj_PE threw their duffle bag of stolen goods at the man, knocking the gun from his hand. With a high-pitched yowl, the female followed right behind, tackling the body to the ground. Acting solely on instincts, the cat rapidly shook its head rapidly from side to side, with a sharp crack quickly following. The female gave a quick gag, long tongue peeking from in-between the elongated canines, and abruptly rolled into the snow.
@tj_PE took the opportunity to grab their duffle the minute those teeth were more than a foot away.
"That...was abrupt." @vhab49_PE observed, scratching idly behind Chonky Boi's ear (the huge animal was making some sort of guttural chest noise in response). "So what do we do now?"
The way back to the van was much quicker when you weren't being chased by crazy religious rich people or man-eating cats, though the felines did keep nudging at both @tj_PE and @vhab49_PE from additional treats...when the female wasn't running off to tackle a deer or the male nudging either of the thieves so they'd throw the backpack (so it could run after and bring back). In fact, things were so quick that @tj_PE decided to check a few other houses. @vhab49_PE was excited by the random cook books that were pinched. The prehistoric felines were excited about the holiday spiral hams and turkeys found defrosting in a fridge.
"So, what's going to happen?" @vhab49_PE asked once everyone had been loaded into the van, since the paired animals wouldn't leave them alone. "I mean, there's dead bodies everywhere. And fires. And probably a giant excavation hole some where, now that I think about it."
"Without the cats, the police will just write-it up as super rich people getting super drunk and killing each other. Normal day in this area, to be honest."
"Oh. Seriously?" @vhab49_PE carefully patted the head of the smaller cat, that they had dubbed Smokey who was steadily trying to shift the bulk of their body into @vhab49_PE's lap, and tried not to look at Chonky Boi, who was studiously cleaning his dick in the backseat.
"Rich people are weird. Now let's get some baklava."
---
@ChebyshevII PE was killed by the townies/big cats. @ChebyshevII PE was mafia.
TOWNIES WIN
Final vote:
x2 @ChebyshevII PE (NikR, chart)
x1 @chart94 (chebs)
Remaining players: @NikR_PE and @chart94
Original Mafia: @MadamPirate PE, @RBHeadge PE, @ChebyshevII PE
Cop: @Dothracki
Doctor: @Roarbark
---
Sorry again for how late this was! Work imploded and I...really did write myself into a corner. I didn't want to hurt the kitties. And my mom said I shouldn't. That I should give them treats and go fold laundry with them to avoid the heretics.
Uh. Let's see what happens.
---
New robe in their possession, as well as a duffle bag of money and valuables, @tj_PE felt that if they were going to die it would be a good time with all their needs and wants fulfilled. Shrugging on the robe from the dead body they had unburied, and ignoring @vhab49_PE's disgusted grunt, the thief scurried back into the Rubbermaid storage fortress. "So what's the plan?"
"There is no plan. I mean, we have giant cats behind us and religious zealots who won't let us leave in front of us. The only way out is probably by being cooked." @vhab49_PE responded resentfully. They had only been interested in joining @tj_PE because they thought they were swapping recipes, thus the baklava/balaclava mistake earlier this night. They weren't particularly invested in completing a few B&Es, but @tj_PEmade it seem so fun at the first house, before they started finding the bodies.
"Shhh-"
"Don't shush me! Being eaten is one of the ways I don't want to die! It's very high on my list!"
"No, no, shhh," @tj_PEslapped their hand over @vhab49_PE's mouth, squinting out the gap between the doors, "Look. They're coming."
From the neighboring lawn, the paired felines slunk through the flickering shadows. Their silver pelts, dappled with black, allowed them to almost seamlessly merge with the snow covered landscape. Small, bud-shaped ear swiveled back and forth from the dark woods to the exuberant screams and yelling from the rich people street-side. One of the cats nipped at the other's shoulder, gnawing gently for a moment before finishing with a grooming lick. The other cat, slightly bigger, tolerated the grooming as they moved slowly through the backyards.
They paused at the uncovered body in the snow and @tj_PE cursed under their breath. The smaller cat pawed at the body as the large one continued to stare at the street with unblinking eyes. When the smaller saber didn't start moving immediately, instead choosing to shuffle around the body, the larger one slumped over in that graceful way all cats do, sprawling on the cold ground as if basking in a beam of sun. @tj_PE and @vhab49_PE watched as the two animals did what animals usually did when not hungry: sleep or play.
The large one's amber eyes closed, eyes swiveling and tail nub flipping wildly, preparing for the attack that abruptly came from the side. The cats tussled for a few moments, which due to their bulk meant huge swaths of ripped up sod, before abruptly stopping and whipping towards the street at a bang. A muted hiss reached the hiding thieves ears as both cats ducked lower and, instead of moving into the next yard and continuing on their original path, instead crept closer to the house...which meant closer to @tj_PE and @vhab49_PE's location.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," @vhab49_PE chanted under their breath, in tandem with each footfall. "Fuck fuck fuck."
The smaller cat reached them first. Stopping abruptly, the nostrils flared and fur stood on end, smearing the black rosettes and spots that made up their fur pattern. The larger one continued another step before the process repeated, only this time the mouth opened slightly to scent the air, highlighting the length of the saber-shaped canines.
"Ah, fuck."
Before @tj_PE could break into hysterics, because obviously the robe had gone to their head, @vhab49_PE opened their own backpack and grabbed a tray of covered pigs-in-a-blanket. Grabbing a handful, and ignoring @tj_PE's 'what the fuck?' from behind, they tossed them into the snow.
It was a match for the ages. Squishy humans in a flimsy made pool toy container vs. apex predators from a prehistoric era who had become accustomed to eating humans vs. tiny hotdogs wrapped in Pillsbury croissant wedges.
Unsurprisingly. The hotdogs won.
A bleated vocalization came from the bigger animal as it chomped on the thrown hotdogs, taking a huge mouthful of snow at the same time. The other cat shoved the other out of the way and ate the remainder. Both cats turned huge luminous eyes on the Rubbermaid and, instead of attacking and dragging both thieves out to eat their brains (like every other incident tonight), they instead remained in the half crouched position and continued licking their lips.
So. It turns out prehistoric animals love saturated fats and manufactured foods just as much as current time animals.
@vhab49_PE threw a few more pigs-in-a-blanket out, thanking their lucky stars that they decided to splurge on the beef-version and not the pork-version that might have reminded the animals about the recently eaten people, before ignoring @tj_PE's silent plea not to, and shuffled into the big cats' view.
The smaller one paused for a moment, arching up, but the other one, big enough not to worry about being attacked, continued to eat the processed food. Upon seeing the rest of the treats getting vacuumed up, the smaller one quickly redirected their attention back to the food.
Seeing that @vhab49_PE hadn't been outright killed, and wanting to get it over sooner rather than later, @tj_PE snuck out as well. "Okay, okay, they're kinda cute when they're not killing archeologists, but we've got to get out of here. We still have those weirdos on the other end blocking the entrance."
"Well, I mean, obviously the cats were just hungry...After eating, what, 10 people, maybe they're a little more relaxed?" @vhab49_PE mused, tossing a huge chunk of fruitcake at the pair, which was promptly bit in half by the bulkier of the pair, who @vhab49_PE was already calling 'chonky boi' in their head, "With them occupied, can we maybe go out the back where we came?"
@tj_PE nodded. "If we don't have the cats running after us, that'll be the best way. Everyone else who is still alive seems to be here. Uh-"
Chonky Boi, disappointed at the lack of baked goods, had headbutted into @vhab49_PE's stomach, winding them, and was now vigorously licking at their backpack in an attempt to get more. Sliding their hands out from the straps, so they wouldn't be pulled to the ground, @vhab49_PE looked on in bemusement as the 1000+ lb animal circled them again with the bag awkwardly held in their mouth. The other cat abruptly turned, a snarl erupting from its throat.
"Ah, Smilodon populator, I knew it was too big to be a fatalis."
Speaking with the same voice as before, when they killed @DuranDuran, the robed figure walked back into the backyard. With a flick of the wrist, their sleeves pushed back to reveal the muscular arms of a paleontologist, nicked and scratched by countless digging. "I didn't think any survived the first culling. @MadamPirate PE picked off the subs and most of them, but looks like they missed the queen and mate." Cruel eyes took on the two cats and the two thieves, sizing them up as a group and finding them...lacking.
"That works for me. Makes them more rare and...who's to say that people won't buy some cute cubs in the future?" The man walked closer, hand reaching into his robe and pulled out a gun, firmly pointed at what was perceived to be the bigger threat: the huge male that was still semi-curled around @vhab49_PE. "In fact, who's to say that I can't keep one. You only need one to be famous. I can see it now: @ChebyshevII PE. The smilodon tamer. I'll be in all the textbooks. Nothing can stop me now. "
Without hesitation, @tj_PE threw their duffle bag of stolen goods at the man, knocking the gun from his hand. With a high-pitched yowl, the female followed right behind, tackling the body to the ground. Acting solely on instincts, the cat rapidly shook its head rapidly from side to side, with a sharp crack quickly following. The female gave a quick gag, long tongue peeking from in-between the elongated canines, and abruptly rolled into the snow.
@tj_PE took the opportunity to grab their duffle the minute those teeth were more than a foot away.
"That...was abrupt." @vhab49_PE observed, scratching idly behind Chonky Boi's ear (the huge animal was making some sort of guttural chest noise in response). "So what do we do now?"
The way back to the van was much quicker when you weren't being chased by crazy religious rich people or man-eating cats, though the felines did keep nudging at both @tj_PE and @vhab49_PE from additional treats...when the female wasn't running off to tackle a deer or the male nudging either of the thieves so they'd throw the backpack (so it could run after and bring back). In fact, things were so quick that @tj_PE decided to check a few other houses. @vhab49_PE was excited by the random cook books that were pinched. The prehistoric felines were excited about the holiday spiral hams and turkeys found defrosting in a fridge.
"So, what's going to happen?" @vhab49_PE asked once everyone had been loaded into the van, since the paired animals wouldn't leave them alone. "I mean, there's dead bodies everywhere. And fires. And probably a giant excavation hole some where, now that I think about it."
"Without the cats, the police will just write-it up as super rich people getting super drunk and killing each other. Normal day in this area, to be honest."
"Oh. Seriously?" @vhab49_PE carefully patted the head of the smaller cat, that they had dubbed Smokey who was steadily trying to shift the bulk of their body into @vhab49_PE's lap, and tried not to look at Chonky Boi, who was studiously cleaning his dick in the backseat.
"Rich people are weird. Now let's get some baklava."
---
@ChebyshevII PE was killed by the townies/big cats. @ChebyshevII PE was mafia.
TOWNIES WIN
Final vote:
x2 @ChebyshevII PE (NikR, chart)
x1 @chart94 (chebs)
Remaining players: @NikR_PE and @chart94
Original Mafia: @MadamPirate PE, @RBHeadge PE, @ChebyshevII PE
Cop: @Dothracki
Doctor: @Roarbark
---
Sorry again for how late this was! Work imploded and I...really did write myself into a corner. I didn't want to hurt the kitties. And my mom said I shouldn't. That I should give them treats and go fold laundry with them to avoid the heretics.
Last edited by a moderator:
Good game, friends 
almost got you...
almost got you...
Roarbark
Topographic Memory🌄
Yeaaaaah! Just a normal quick and dirty JK mafia writeup.
Bravissimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmo!
(My keyboard tweaked the f out and held that m for WAY longer than I pressed, but I'm just gonna roll with it)
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I have no idea how Chart decided his vote. I messaged him but was not sure which he would lean.Good game, friends
Yeah, my line of thinking was that chart seemed quiet the whole game, so may not realize what was going on. Didn’t work out for me this time...
- Joined
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- Joined
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LyceeFruit PE
Woodchipped Voice of Reason
- Joined
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SaltySteve PE
Voted most likely to be Mafia
Do we have a mod for next round? If not, I'm willing to do a no frills all kills round as mod.
Any challengers?
Any challengers?
I think you'd make a great mod!
Also, and this is just a suggestion: Could we make a rule where each player must vote at least once by the end of each day? Maybe not the first day, but each day thereafter? I think it would encourage more involvement and not give too much advantage to the quiet/non-voting players. I think this is better than the tourney rules which required a minimum # of posts.
SaltySteve PE
Voted most likely to be Mafia
If yall want to do that I'm fine with it. I agree that quiet folks tend to skirt by but the minimum post thing was sort of a hassle.
Roarbark
Topographic Memory🌄
Requirement to vote seems easier to swing than a minimum posts? Or: More effectively accomplishes it's goal, "involvement".
Roarbark posting "1", "2" and "3" as his three posts doesn't advance the story, while Roarbark being forced to vote at least is participation. I vote aye, for a try!
@DuranDuran I'm a fan of the new wardrobe.
@JayKay PE I appreciate you, your excellent storytelling, and the time you spend enriching our experience. You rock and/or thank you!
Roarbark posting "1", "2" and "3" as his three posts doesn't advance the story, while Roarbark being forced to vote at least is participation. I vote aye, for a try!
@DuranDuran I'm a fan of the new wardrobe.
@JayKay PE I appreciate you, your excellent storytelling, and the time you spend enriching our experience. You rock and/or thank you!
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