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In an effort to clean the pile, I spray it with a hose. This rinses away the dust and get the dust buster and empty jar soaking wet.

There is now a wet empty jar, a wet duster-buster with a dead battery, and a small amount of residual water on the pile.

 
I bring some Californians to remind them what water looks like. I take the  wet duster-buster with a dead battery. 

There is now a wet empty jar, a small amount of residual water and some Californians in the pile.

 
As the water evaporates, one of the Californians begins coughing. After a few sidelone glances, the others decide it's not worth the risk, and ditch them. 

There is now a dry empty jar (With a water damaged "Eye of newt" label), and one Californian who may or may not have COVID-19 on the pile.

 
Someone should really have that man tested, but there aren't any test kits in the area. Not that it matters because the hospitals don't have nay nasal swabs left anyway.

There is now a dry empty jar (With a water damaged "Eye of newt" label), a weezing man who may or may not have COVID-19 on the pile, and one IOU covid-19 test kit.

 
The  United Pile government has finally produced its first COVID-19 test kit, several weeks after it was needed. The wheezing man tests positive, after having held several enormous raves on the pile in the last few weeks. The empty jar has mysteriously disappeared during one of the raves.

There is now a positively super spreader of COVID-19 on the pile.

 

 
I take away the test-taker's hope, and leave him a homemade mask so he won't be spreading that wheeze around.  There is now a hopelessly ill, masked patient raving on the pile with an unsolved mystery of who took the jar.

 
The jars falls from the sky and cracks the man in the head rendering him unconscious. It turns out that it had been thrown high into the air during the last rave. A passer-by sees what happened and calls 911. The ambulance arrives and takes the man to the hospital. Before they left, one of the paramedics accidently dropped their ID badge. Now there is an paramedic ID badge and shards of broken glass from the jar on the pile.

 
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After an enormous COVID outbreak lasting several months, the town of Pile-ville is finally taken off mandatory lockdown, and its citizens are finally free to leave their houses. A shifty looking lady notices the paramedic's ID badge and pockets the badge and a single particularly sharp shard of glass before shuffling on her way. 

There is now a slightly smaller heap of broken glass on the pile. 

 
I finally build up the courage to leave my house. I add some KN95 masks, toilet paper, hand sanitzer, and gloves to the pile so that others may play.

There is now a small heap of glass, toilet paper, and various PPE in the pile.

 
I finally build up the courage to leave my house. I add some KN95 masks, toilet paper, hand sanitzer, and gloves to the pile so that others may play.

There is now a small heap of glass, toilet paper, and various PPE in the pile.
A young venture capitalist sees the pile and assume it's the next great viral sensation. They want to buy it, but not knowing who the owner is, they take the entire pile and leave a check for $20 million.

There's is now a check for $20 million on the pile.
 
A homeless guy walks by and takes the whole pile of PPE for themselves in their shopping cart to try to pawn off on the corner. He didn't notice the $20 million dollar check mixed in with the pile and dropped it while picking up all the masks. All that is left is broken glass and a $20 million dollar check.
 
A mysterious figure arrives and grabs the $20 million check. An hour later he returns with a sofa from some strange dude who said he "found" it at a hotel. The mysterious figure hoards the broken glass, thinking it might be useful for future mafia games. All that's left is a sofa, a "Bitcoin" storage wallet worth exactly 311.37 in Bitcoin currency, and a hand scribbled note taped to the sofa which reads, "It wasn't me."
 
Suddenly Shaggy is walking down the street and comes across the pile. Excstatic of the quote from his song taped to the couch, he made some calls and got the couch and the scribbled note taken away to be preserved in one of his mansions. But he left a bag of Doritos in tribute along with the bitcoin storage wallet.
 
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I take the bag of coughdrops since I had a sore throat on Saturday so I figured, why not? Someone around me might need them. I take the paperclip because I need it for work and office supplies are growing scarce these days. I leave a couple of pennies for good measure.

There is now a bitcoin wallet, thumbtack and two pennies in the pile.
 
I take the thumbtack because I need to hang more graphs and charts in my cube. I leave a dime in its palce.

There is now a bitcoin wallet, two pennies, and a dime in the pile.
 
I take the dime and convert it to bitcoin which is rising on the exchange. There is now interest in the pile with the other stuff.
 
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