He pulled the same shit last night! Lady on the phone said "oh, he tried to deliver at 7:14". Me, "that's funny, because this is a residential address, the package requires no delivery confirmation or signature, and your driver has not been seen on my security cameras anywhere near my property yesterday OR today."
So, she goes through all the BS to route my package to the FedEx store so I can actually get it. "Do you want the driver to attempt delivery once more?" Me - "uh, no, he's lied and left my shit on the truck so he could go home early for two days in a row now, I don't expect him to be competent enough to do his job tomorrow, either."
So she starts to go into the "please take a short survey" line thinking we're done, when I interrupt with, "before we go, I want to ensure that this issue is filed as a formal complaint and escalated to your driver's management, since he has proven to be a liar and is falsifying company and customer records". I could hear her sigh on the other end.