Sometimes you just need to scream!!!

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

When the customer blames you for a design mistake that they made:

 

[Master slacker]

Welp, outage next week and one of the large filters we're overhauling had a drive bearing completely shit the bed last night.  Couldn't last five more more fcuking days.  Unit is down.  On top of that, we're replacing all shaft bearings and bearing housings... except for one housing which was overlooked... so what comes off needs to be machined / reworked before reinstalling.  And since my engineer is out from surgery this week, I'm following up on the status of the parts which should be in today... and I find out the supplier may have sourced the wrong bearing housings for one of the shafts.  They may not be able to get us what we need.  I'm fi'in to throat punch some mutha fcukas if he calls me back and says we won't be getting new housings.

 

[Master slacker]

So we're in a plant outage this week.  Several MCC's shut down, compressors down (no plant air), etc...  Every week, EVERY... DAMN... WEEK... for the past month, we have had the following conversation with plant reps:

Us (Maintenance): There will be NO utilities for 3 days.  If you need air or power, you are responsible for getting your own compressors and generators.

Them (Ops / Material Handling): But y'all need to tell us what we need.

Us:  No.  You need to figure it out.  It is your responsibility.  Got it?

Them: Ok.  Whatever.

DAY FCUKING ONE of outage, I get five groups ganging up on me in the morning leadership meeting - "How are we supposed to load out our product bins?  You were supposed to get us a compressor" and "Someone's gotta get air to the control valves so they can open and we can move everything from this bin to that bin.  MS, you're going to do that, right?!?  You're supposed to do that!"

Oh boy, and when I counter with "we have told y'all for a month that you are responsible for supplying your air and electrical IF you need it because there will be none of either", lemme tell ya, that went over like turd toothpaste.  Unbelievable.  These chuckle heads and their clique need a collective throat punch.

 

[Master slacker]

Just threw fuel onto the fire this morning so the plant manager (who was out yesterday) could partake in the festivities.  He's not the best at confrontation between groups.  He probably won't do much of anything, but I've said my piece.  Can't wait for this afternoon's staff meeting.  This will surely be discussed then.

 

[Master slacker]

Does everyone understand the difference between NEED and WANT?

MS - "Ops Mgr, I want to get this equipment up and running so we can see if there are any issues before we send the contractor crew home.  When they're gone, they're gone.  What do you NEED done before we can start it up?"

Ops Mgr - "I NEED a unicorn sticker placed on the frame, a cheeseburger, and new underwear."

MS - "Those are WANTS, Ops Mgr, not NEEDS.  We really shou..."

Ops Mgr - "You're not getting the equipment started until you do what I ask."

Look up "dick weed" in dictionary and I'm sure you'll see a picture of this chucklehead.

 

[P-E]

Does everyone understand the difference between NEED and WANT?

MS - "Ops Mgr, I want to get this equipment up and running so we can see if there are any issues before we send the contractor crew home.  When they're gone, they're gone.  What do you NEED done before we can start it up?"

Ops Mgr - "I NEED a unicorn sticker placed on the frame, a cheeseburger, and new underwear."

MS - "Those are WANTS, Ops Mgr, not NEEDS.  We really shou..."

Ops Mgr - "You're not getting the equipment started until you do what I ask."

Look up "dick weed" in dictionary and I'm sure you'll see a picture of this chucklehead.

Feel the pain.  Owner wants the heating  plant I’m commissioning started this week, but the contractor needs to finish the fire protection, mechanical piping, electrical, hvac, controls, chem feed, blowdown system.  It ain’t happening. 

 

[Ramnares P.E.]

with "we have told y'all for a month that you are responsible for supplying your air and electrical IF you need it because there will be none of either", lemme tell ya, that went over like turd toothpaste.  Unbelievable.  These chuckle heads and their clique need a collective throat punch.

I just found my new favorite phrase to describe much of my job.

 

[Master slacker]

Here is a analogous discussion I just had with the (new) Ops manager...

Me - For several weeks we had a problem keeping the sky blue because the clouds would come in.  We (maintenance) monitored the sky and removed the clouds so we could see the sky.  We did this for two weeks and the sky stayed blue.  We've let y'all know what the solution is to the rash of problems we've had.  And since we have stopped sweeping clouds away, the clouds have come back and we can no longer see the blue sky.  So all your operators need to do is sweep the clouds away once per week.  Their job is to operate and monitor the sky anyway.

ops - well, i see what you're saying, but i don't know if that's the real solution or just something that happened to work a couple of times.  

Me - Dude... we had a problem and one change was made (just one...) and the problem didn't happen again UNTIL WE STOPPED DOING IT.  Sure it's only two data points, but we made a change and problem solved.  The change is no longer being done and the problem comes back.

ops - well, i don't know if my operator can devote time to doing this once per week.  He's got other stuff to do.

Me - He can walk by on his rounds just four times in one hour, spend a grand total of five minutes, to sweep the clouds away.

ops - yeah, i'm told that's not the problem and solution

Me - I'm not claiming this is the solution to the world, but it definitely works and we have proven it already.

ops - i'm told otherwise.  i think you need to further investigate and look for a different solution

Me - 

 

[Tiger15]

So one of my best friends from college was recently promoted from level 3 (senior) to level 4 (lead/principal) Mechanical Engineer, and she definitely deserves it. In addition to going to college together, we've worked together at 2 different companies. So I feel qualified to say that it's probably a couple years overdue. She's been doing the job of a lead engineer for a few years now and doing well. Anyway I'm super excited for her.

Today she heard that one of the other lead engineers (on a different team) is going around saying she only got the promotion because she's a woman.   I hate how some people will invalidate you because of their hang ups.

Anyway I just wanted to vent

 

[txjennah PE]

So one of my best friends from college was recently promoted from level 3 (senior) to level 4 (lead/principal) Mechanical Engineer, and she definitely deserves it. In addition to going to college together, we've worked together at 2 different companies. So I feel qualified to say that it's probably a couple years overdue. She's been doing the job of a lead engineer for a few years now and doing well. Anyway I'm super excited for her.

Today she heard that one of the other lead engineers (on a different team) is going around saying she only got the promotion because she's a woman.   I hate how some people will invalidate you because of their hang ups.

Anyway I just wanted to vent

That totally sucks.  I'm sorry to hear this person's insecurity is driving them to say that.  But insecurity is very easy to read, just like hard work and competency is.  People are going to know this person is just bitter and jealous. I'm happy for your friend.  

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

So one of my best friends from college was recently promoted from level 3 (senior) to level 4 (lead/principal) Mechanical Engineer, and she definitely deserves it. In addition to going to college together, we've worked together at 2 different companies. So I feel qualified to say that it's probably a couple years overdue. She's been doing the job of a lead engineer for a few years now and doing well. Anyway I'm super excited for her.

Today she heard that one of the other lead engineers (on a different team) is going around saying she only got the promotion because she's a woman.   I hate how some people will invalidate you because of their hang ups.

Anyway I just wanted to vent

That makes me so angry. Both the act that someone says she only got the promotion because she's a woman, and the fact that it is a few years overdue.  My smartass would probably have replied that the only reason the promotion was delayed was due to being a woman.**

** Being not so ballsy IRL, that would most likely have been a comment in my head...

 

[Road Guy]

sounds like a good throat punch are in order!

 

[Tiger15]

That makes me so angry. Both the act that someone says she only got the promotion because she's a woman, and the fact that it is a few years overdue.  My smartass would probably have replied that the only reason the promotion was delayed was due to being a woman.**

** Being not so ballsy IRL, that would most likely have been a comment in my head...

Well, I would say that in my experience. Most promotions seems to come a year or 2 late when you get to the higher levels. I can't say definitely that it was delayed because she's a woman. But  :dunno:

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

Well, I would say that in my experience. Most promotions seems to come a year or 2 late when you get to the higher levels. I can't say definitely that it was delayed because she's a woman. But  :dunno:

It would just be a smartass response I would think.... even if it is not the case.

 

[Master slacker]

My engineer is driving me bat shit insane.  I guess he's expecting me to tell him exactly what he needs to do, how exactly to do it, and when to have it done.  He stopped by my office four times in the past 30 minutes to get direction. 

 

[snickerd3]

My engineer is driving me bat shit insane.  I guess he's expecting me to tell him exactly what he needs to do, how exactly to do it, and when to have it done.  He stopped by my office four times in the past 30 minutes to get direction. 

I feel you pain.  wait until he starts denying you told him/gave him something 

 

[Master slacker]

As much as he's trying to survive the performance improvement plan he's on (and not get fired at the end of it), the fact that he appears to be relying on me to "pull him through" each task does not bode well for his future.

 

[Supe]

8:30 - FedEx - Out for Delivery

8:00 PM comes and goes

4:33 - FedEx - Could not Deliver, Business Closed

Uh, pretty sure THE F*CKING FRONT PORCH OF MY RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS IS OPEN 24/7, ASSH*OLES

 

[wilheldp_PE]

I honestly don't know how FedEx is still in business.  They have literally screwed up the last 10 deliveries I've gotten through them.  UPS hasn't messed one up in years.

 

[Supe]

He pulled the same shit last night!  Lady on the phone said "oh, he tried to deliver at 7:14".  Me, "that's funny, because this is a residential address, the package requires no delivery confirmation or signature, and your driver has not been seen on my security cameras anywhere near my property yesterday OR today."

So, she goes through all the BS to route my package to the FedEx store so I can actually get it.  "Do you want the driver to attempt delivery once more?"  Me - "uh, no, he's lied and left my shit on the truck so he could go home early for two days in a row now, I don't expect him to be competent enough to do his job tomorrow, either."

So she starts to go into the "please take a short survey" line thinking we're done, when I interrupt with, "before we go, I want to ensure that this issue is filed as a formal complaint and escalated to your driver's management, since he has proven to be a liar and is falsifying company and customer records".  I could hear her sigh on the other end.