Sometimes you just need to scream!!!

[YMZ PE]

So Capt, an acquaintance of mine is having a birthday party and invited me but I don't want to go but I also don't want to be rude. And I'm trying to convince the gardener to use a certain type of fertilizer on our flower bed but he says his is better. And my husband never remembers to put the toilet seat down. What should I do?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

^ just plain awesome.

I work with a lot of wordy people who like to jump to conclusions and point fingers. I learned very early at this job that it is much more satisfying to make them look stupid then to try to argue with them.

That approach works until the person either doesn't know or doesn't care that they look stupid...

 

[Capt Worley PE]

So Capt, an acquaintance of mine is having a birthday party and invited me but I don't want to go but I also don't want to be rude.

Nothing says you care like a gift you make yourself! HSD to the rescue!

And I'm trying to convince the gardener to use a certain type of fertilizer on our flower bed but he says his is better.

Not only are HSDs good as fertilizer, but they add a personal touch to the garden as well as recycle food.

And my husband never remembers to put the toilet seat down. What should I do?

Check the seat. How hard is it to look at a seat?

But, if you prefer to send a message, HSD will facilitate a conversation.

HSDs, a gift from the heart, a green intiative, and a couples' counselor. three of the thousands of uses for HSDs!

 

[wilheldp_PE]

Upper Decker's are also a good solution to a lot of life's ills.

 

[pbrme]

^ :appl:

"I'll start flushing the HSD's when you start putting the toilet seat down"

But:

If we can put it up, they can put it down. Out of courtesy for our pet's breath, I always put it down.

 

[pbrme]

Upper Decker's are also a good solution to a lot of life's ills.

I did this to a frat house once.

 

[engineergurl]

omg, I had to Google Sucks that, gross... but I'm thinking maybe some food coloring would be funny...

 

[wilheldp_PE]

I don't know what's funnier, the fact that you had to search for it, or that the auto-replace function is still active on Google Sucks.

 

[engineergurl]

Going along with the e-mails, this didn't make me scream, but I had to read it a few times.... went out to everyone in our office and the e-mail subject was "noise pollution in the office"

Everyone, and this means YOU: Please refrain from eating at your desk

other than lunch and very brief, underscore VERY, non-noisy snacks. No

munching and crunching distracting to your coworkers or visitors. Thank

you for your attention to this matter.

seriously.

 

[Supe]

You should issue a similar memo, asking them to refrain from typing on a keyboard, other than during lunch or for very brief intervals. That pecking is some serious noise pollution.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Time for some Doritos.

 

[snickerd3]

what about break time...you can't have some crunchy pringles or chex mix at your desk...what about gum chewers, they are noisy and annoying too

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

That's your answer for everything!

i'm telling you, those things have a thousand uses!

When all else fails, try AC Slatering.

 

[engineergurl]

I wanted to ask about how loud my stomach had to growl before I could justify the overall noise reduction levels with a crunchy snack.... and suggest we do a benefit analysis....

 

[Krakosky]

Why is there never a socket around when I need one? There is a serious shortage of sockets in the world. How am I supposed to keep spamming EB if my phone dies?

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

I'm out of bad jokes and filthy innuendos here. The move and new job have me cooked.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

If you've got nothin' after she lobbed that grapefruit up for you, it's definitely time to go home and come back to eb.com's drunk tank...

 

[BluSkyy]

HFS. the brain is fried after a long three weeks. now to drive 6 hours to work on a roof all weekend...

 

[knight1fox3]

Wow! Is it so much to ask to get a TIMELY response via email from a professor? I have to answer 100's of emails a day. I'm taking an online graduate course at MTU and have been emailing the professor over the last couple weeks. I know my email and his works because I continue to receive assignments. Now he sends out an update and says that online students should be accelerating the number of videos they watch per week as opposed to just following along with the MWF course schedule like I've been doing. Now I'm SEVEN modules behind! Yes I could pick up the phone and try calling but working 50+ hours a week as an engineering manager doesn't always allow for that. RAWR!!!!

Not impressed with MTU up to this point.

 

[mudpuppy]

^Is that Dr. Mork?