I GOT A DATE!!!

[testee]

don't worry about it. That guy's toenails are white.

 

[benbo]

I caught it too. While some may think that's a good idea, I don't. It's good to have that untapped tension all built up in you on a date. It keeps you on your toes. Keeps your motivation up. Brings out your best.
You don't want to be this guy:

:jerkit:

When you could be this guy:

:leghump:

I don't have any personal experience, but are you saying humping a giant foot is something to shoot for?

 

[PE-ness]

I don't mean to jump in here, but I speak with experience: anything will do, in a pinch.

 

[Guest]

I don't have any personal experience, but are you saying humping a giant foot is something to shoot for?

This response has been blackened out to protect the more sensitive readers of the viewing audience. Please do not 'highlight' if you are easily offended.

Spoiler

Now I think you are really mixing metaphors - did you mean shoot for or shoot AT ??

:laugh:
Sorry, I really, really, really couldn't resist!

JR

 

[Dleg]

I don't have any personal experience, but are you saying humping a giant foot is something to shoot for?

Yes. That's exactly what I am saying. :eyebrows:

Don't knock something you haven't tried!

 

[NCcarguy]

I think we lost all the females in this thread!!!!

 

[cement]

The silence from the fudgeman has been deafening. I figure there are 4 possible scenarios.

1) He scored, and is protecting her reputation.

2) He was shot down in flames, and she was swapping spit with the janitor.

3) He is too busy to post. Sorry, I had to stop laughing to finish that one.

4) There is still the writer's strike going on in Hollywood.

your votes?

 

[Dleg]

You forgot about The Crying Game scenario...

 

[cement]

OMG. I would be quiet too.

 

[Guest]

Maybe my spoiler was too much for the female readership AND fudgey !! hmy:

Dleg --

You are truly :asthanos: for even suggesting a Crying Game moment!!! But I had to laugh!! :laugh:

Fudgey --

Come back !! You are still our little Fudgey even if things didn't work out!!!

JR

 

[cement]

Yes. That's exactly what I am saying. :eyebrows:
Don't knock something you haven't tried!

Dleg's got a foot fetish??

 

[NCcarguy]

Dleg's got a foot fetish??

I think you're correct!!!!

BTW.....Come on Fudgey??? What's happening? It's not like we're asking for pictures or anything like that!

 

[Dleg]

^^Yeah, a giant, 15 foot tall foot fetish...

Nah, I just couldn't resist benbo's setup.

 

[Fudgey]

Well my friends, I know its been a while since I posted anything about this. I was starting to feel bad about kissing and telling. The last couple weeks I feel like I had love in my grasps then possibly lost it all.

Nothing all that interesting happened after the Christmas party. It got late and we were both a little too tipsy for much excitement. The coworkers were cool. They were definitely behind me. Played me up like a good guy who has done some good stuff on our projects here. They are really a good group of folks and I'm glad to work with them.

The following night on Friday, Fudgeboy became Fudgeman. :burgerking: I really don't think it's right to go into great detail but yes i did in fact lose my V-card.

I will say one thing though. I never expected some of the angles necessary to bury the meatstick would be as difficult to negotiate as they were. I don't bend like that, at least I didn't think I could. Single guys of the board I seriously recommend finding one of those little Romanian gymnast girls and letting her to all the contorting.

I think it went well. I was really happy. She even invited me to a family get together at her uncle's place last Sunday. Definitely a good sign! Well it all went downhill from there.

The evening started off nicely. I tried to be the ideal guy in front of the family. Funny, smart, inteligent, all that. It was going well, shortly after dinner, I had to go #2.

The girlfriend's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so i went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and then I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. It's kind of a technique, let me try to explain.

Remember the 80's classic TV show Saved by the Bell? AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair.

Similarly, AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, So when I was taking a dump, my stomache was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous.

Since AC Slatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in the bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My business was about halfway done when the footsteps became closer.

I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my girlfriend's mom was standing there in shock just staring at me. :blink:

We made eye contact for a split second, though it could have been an eternity. I mean I'm in my girlfriend's uncle's bathroom. They haven't known me for more than a couple hours, I was just happy to be invited over. My friends, I was so embarassed that I wanted to die. :hung-037:

I quickly finished up, got dressed, left the house as quickly as decorum would permit. I've been expecting my girlfriend to break up with me

since Monday. I can't bring myself to even call her. I am so embarassed and I hope my she doesn't blabber about this, I have no idea how I will explain this one away.

I think I blew it guys. :brickwall: :bawling:

 

[Dark Knight]

JR needs to create an emoticon with a falling jaw. What an unfortunate turn of events Fudgeman. I am sorry for you but if she loves you she will come to you.

On the other hand my friend; What were you thinking? Why did not you just take a "classic dump"? Only you Fudgey....only you.

 

[Chucktown PE]

I am fairly new to engineerboards and happened to read this post while I was awaiting PE results and getting nothing done. I must admit I laughed my *** off. I really hope this is a cruel joke but on the chance that it isn't, could I please ask the obvious question? What in the hell was going through your head when you decided to take a dump at your girlfriend's uncle's house......BACKWARDS. Have you tried this before? Why the need for the creativity on the throne? Are you bored with the standard old way of taking a ****? I have to give it to you, you really know how to go down in flames.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

^ I see it's your first Fudgey post.

 

[C-Dog]

Call her up. Her mother may not have said anything to her (yeah right!)! Explain the hole Saved by the Bell thing.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Wow, Fudgey. Never go with new stuff in new situations. Use the old tried and true. I agree with BIO, classic would have been more appropriate.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

^ If not classic, then at least western grip.