FBI Job interview

[FLBuff PE]

I've used #5 in a valentine before

You've shared a picture of your dogs, so I know their house is big enough for you. Did they make room that night?

 

[Sschell]

Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Bob.'

Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back! Please!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home....

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.

Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.

'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Bob.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster.

'It's no big deal.'

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....

"BOB, wake up! You shit the bed!"

 

[Dleg]

LOL!!!!!

and by "Bob" you mean "sschell?"

 

[DVINNY]

George Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber

shop

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber,

not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a

conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in

his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him

saying, 'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been

in a whorehouse,'

The second barber turned to Bush and said, 'How about you sir ?'

Bush replied, 'Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a

whorehouse smells like.'

ZING

 

[Dark Knight]

George Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber,

not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a

conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in

his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him

saying, 'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been

in a whorehouse,'

The second barber turned to Bush and said, 'How about you sir ?'

Bush replied, 'Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a

whorehouse smells like.'

ZING

Zing?

 

[DVINNY]

I added the ZING.

Thought it was a good one

 

[goodal]

it was.

 

[MA_PE]

X3

 

[Master slacker]

I added the ZING.
Thought it was a good one

it was.

It still IS.

 

[RJs]

:laugh: You guys made my day.

 

[RJs]

Lets keep the Board politics free!!!! PLEASE NO POLITICAL MUD SPLASHING JOKES.

 

[roadwreck]

Lets keep the Board politics free!!!!

:huh:

you must not have noticed the Politics section

http://engineerboards.com/index.php?showforum=52

 

[Dark Knight]

OK. Here is my take on this. Tried to keep my opinion to myself but guess I have the same right to express it like everybody else. Here is why I think it is not funny:

The way I understood the joke it implies like the First Lady is a whore since she knows how a whorehouse smells like. I believe that is the message behind it. Again, that is how I understood it.

My motives have nothing to do with politics. I am not Democrat not Republican. Not a Tea Party, whatever that is.

The former First Lady and the actual First Lady are so different. Mrs. Bush is such a classy lady. Mrs. Obama does not have that kind of easygoing personality but I would not go as far as implicating she is a whore. For me that is not correct.

You guys are OK in my book. Maybe is just a generational thing. I am an ldtimer: and you are young guns. Do not take this the wrong way. Cannot agree in everything. Can we?

 

[MA_PE]

OK. Here is my take on this. Tried to keep my opinion to myself but guess I have the same right to express it like everybody else. Here is why I think it is not funny:
The way I understood the joke it implies like the First Lady is a whore since she knows how a whorehouse smells like. I believe that is the message behind it. Again, that is how I understood it.

My motives have nothing to do with politics. I am not Democrat not Republican. Not a Tea Party, whatever that is.

The former First Lady and the actual First Lady are so different. Mrs. Bush is such a classy lady. Mrs. Obama does not have that kind of easygoing personality but I would not go as far as implicating she is a whore. For me that is not correct.

You guys are OK in my book. Maybe is just a generational thing. I am an ldtimer: and you are young guns. Do not take this the wrong way. Cannot agree in everything. Can we?

DK. You're reading way too deep into it. It's essentially a "yo mama's so fat...." type jab at Obama. leave it at that.

 

[Chucktown PE]

Raw nerves around election day I guess. I have heard the same joke floating around in some form or another with different politicians interchanged for years.

 

[Dark Knight]

DK. You're reading way too deep into it. It's essentially a "yo mama's so fat...." type jab at Obama. leave it at that.

OK. I missunderstood it then. My bad. When I am wrong, I am wrong. That is 99.999999999999% of the time.

Raw nerves around election day I guess. I have heard the same joke floating around in some form or another with different politicians interchanged for years.

Nope. No raw nerves. I understood one thing and that was it. I never read that joke in that or any other form. Maybe has not been here long enough.

 

[DVINNY]

Ahhhh, you old fogey.

Actually, the guy that sent that to me on email is 62. So you can't use that excuse DK

I don't think the First Lady is a Whore, but the joke is funny none the less. The joke is implying that she KNOWS what one smells like, doesn't state that she worked in one.

as said above, kinda like a "yo momma so fat..."

 

[snickerd3]

Don't be so hard on yourself DK.

 

[FLBuff PE]

Ahhhh, you old fogey.

Actually, the guy that sent that to me on email is 62. So you can't use that excuse DK

I don't think the First Lady is a Whore, but the joke is funny none the less. The joke is implying that she KNOWS what one smells like, doesn't state that she worked in one.

as said above, kinda like a "yo momma so fat..."

Even I chuckled at it.

 

[Dark Knight]

Ahhhh, you old fogey.

Actually, the guy that sent that to me on email is 62. So you can't use that excuse DK

I don't think the First Lady is a Whore, but the joke is funny none the less. The joke is implying that she KNOWS what one smells like, doesn't state that she worked in one.

as said above, kinda like a "yo momma so fat..."

Even I chuckled at it.

The "yo momma so fat..." is one thing. Can be funny. Since I got it the wrong way since the get go cannot say it is. This is not a biggy. I would have reacted the same way if the roles were inverted.

This is the jokes thread. Bring the next joke on...I will be sure to keep my mouth shut this time.