Excuses, Excuses! Worst, Funniest, Etc.

[wilheldp_PE]

I wasn't sleeping, a bug landed on my eye and I was trying to suffocate him.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

The lights were out and I couldn't find my keys.

 

[MA_PE]

no lights - but was anybody home?

 

[Capt Worley PE]

I puked all over my shoes.

 

[MA_PE]

unfortunately I was wearing sandals.

 

[Supe]

It's ok, I've got lazy swimmers.

 

[wilheldp_PE]

I'm dead...I'll be in tomorrow.

 

[Supe]

I'm dead...I'll be in tomorrow.

Reminds me of Family Guy, where Peter tells Mr. Weed "my entire family has been in a horrible car crash and I am a vegetable... see you tomorrow", just so he can go to a Red Sox game.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

A friend of mine called in sick once and then told the boss that he'd been hung over. The boss made him change leave from sick to annual.

Never change your excuse.

 

[wilheldp_PE]

Reminds me of Family Guy, where Peter tells Mr. Weed "my entire family has been in a horrible car crash and I am a vegetable... see you tomorrow", just so he can go to a Red Sox game.

That's also where I got the suffocating the bug excuse.

 

[MA_PE]

I have always wanted to call in "sunny day"

I can't come to work today, it's far too sunny outside.

 

[Supe]

I'm not coming to work today. Obama is President, so I shouldn't have to.

 

[wilheldp_PE]

I have always wanted to call in "sunny day"
I can't come to work today, it's far too sunny outside.

My buddy does that all the time to play golf. He doesn't use sick days...he uses vacation days.

 

[Supe]

I thought all black tie events were BYOB.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

I have always wanted to call in "sunny day"
I can't come to work today, it's far too sunny outside.

I used to call those 'days when no walls could hold me.' usually, I ended up at the pool or jacuzzi on such days.

 

[MA_PE]

Then again it could be raining distilled water and it would still be too nice to come to work.

 

[Supe]

Then again it could be raining distilled water and it would still be too nice to come to work.

It could be raining raw sewage and it would still be too nice to come to work.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

I was late for school once because 100+ cows got out and were running around the yard.

 

[MGX]

I blew out my rear end.

(the spider gears in my pickup truck's differential chipped and consequently the entire unit jammed and blew gear bits out of the rear cover.)

 

[Supe]

I did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky.