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i look at my oven and go oh no, too many cookies, as I put in another batch.

why is this recipe so big/so long?  bwithy is it this size?
I mean most people don't complain with those problems :dunno:

 
“I’m gonna fuck them before we get to the first round, “ said @Audi driver, P.E., pausing so they could slather on more lip gloss, the applicator tugging their lips to the side as it pulled against the already shiny surface.  “It’s going to be magical. We’re going to fall in love.” They grinned into the mirror. Teeth: white. Lips: a beautiful mauve gray (courtesy of Tarte’s salt lyfe). Ambition: bared. 

Chest: also bared, but slightly less than their ambition.  I mean, just enough to tantalize, but not enough that their mother would be scandalized.  Grandmother, yes, mother, no.

Something in the way they move, indeed, they thought, making sure to take a good long look at their ass before they left the prep room to meet the other losers-contestants who would be battling for the lucky person’s hand in marriage.

“Okay, okay, you’ll all be on stage soon to meet your dreamboat,” The technician droned once they did a headcount, confirming that all 18 players were present.  They seemed to be paying more attention to their clipboard than the 18 beauties in front of them, “I’m going to need you all to go on in this order.”

The participants shifted in annoyance as the tech took their time going down the list, pausing to listen to their radio before resuming, carelessly repeating names that had already been said.  Once they finished the tech shrugged and gave them all a look over, dressed in exactly the same outfit for production purposes, before stepping outside to finish a sound check. Before everyone could relax, the makeup artists came in and began to fuss.

“I’m thinking slutty cowgirl,” One mused, pinning up @tj_PE’s hair. 

“Slutty nurse is better,” trilled another makeup artist, as they tilted @ChebyshevII PE’s face from side to side, secretly envious of the sharpness of their cheekbones and the contouring that had been done prior to them arriving.  “Slutty nurses almost won me the last round.”

Another makeup artist scoffed as they added the last bit of blush to @Spicketts face, sweeping across their forehead and cheeks before snapping closed their kit.  “I think this round is going to be different from the other,” they said, standing up and nudging another artist to get moving. “I hear the lover is an engineer!”

“Ugh, no.”

“Ugh, yes!”

The makeup artists giggled as they left the room, snapping the door shut as the clock on the wall counted down, leaving each of the ‘prettier’ contestants to contemplate what exactly they had gotten themselves into.

“I can’t wait to meet them.  I’m sure they’re dreamy,” said a random voice, revealed to be @MEtoEE, who had been trussed up in the proposed ‘slutty cowgirl’ outfit.  “I’m hoping they are kind.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” @leggo PE said, “I’m sure they signed up for the fat bonus check and getting in the sack.”

“But what if they are looking for true love?”  @MEtoEE persisted, “What if they really are just here to find the one who completes their closed circuit?”

@chart94 squinted suspiciously at @MEtoEE, wrinkles barely forming in their over-Botoxed forehead.  “You seem to know a lot about this contestant. Considering we’ve all been stuck here for the past two weeks in isolation from media and even our phones,” a minor sob came from the direction of @ChebyshevII PE, “you don’t seem surprised that the newest lover is a nerd.”

@MEtoEE looked confused at the accusation and didn’t notice @LyceeFruit and @blybrook PE move closer, sitting on the same settee in the shape of a strawberry.  “I mean, I just inferred from the...from the…” They tapered off when @tj_PE walked over and smiled down at them. Something about the other contestant had rubbed them wrong from the start when they had been able to make phone calls when no one else had.

So busy making sure @tj_PE wasn’t up to something, they completed disregarded @Spickett, who had come from behind with a curling iron.  The iron, carefully heated to the max temperature of 400-degrees Fahrenheit, was clamped down on the front of their throat as @Spickett jerked their head back by the hair. The thin skin began to blister at the contact, hair and tissue burning at the prolonged contact, and @MEtoEE gurgled as they felt the heat literally begin to seep to the back of their tongue.  @Spickett lost their grip, resulting in @MEtoEE's head to naturally snap forward to curl around the agonizing heat, but they were pulled back after a moment when @Spickett waved their hand to get rid of the hair strands and chunk of scalp that had caught on their manicure.

@leggo PE approached from the front, expertly curled eyelashes fluttering as they held up the bottle of perfume.  “Let me fix that for you. Freshen you up for Prince Charming,” They murmured beatifically, slowly pulling out the stopper for the perfume and they slowly, so slowly, pulled down the lower lid of @MEtoEE's left eyelid.

Drip.

Drip.

Drop.

Went ‘Boyfriend’ by Kate Walsh.

A weird croaking came from @MEtoEE’s throat as they attempted to gag around the smell and taste of the perfume, amber and pain flooding their senses as the stinging liquid rolled down the sides of their face and into the smoothed cavern of burn that now made up the majority of their neck.  

@Spickett sighed as the iron pushed deeper, pressing against the delicate trachea that was now partially exposed. This was taking way too long, to be honest, and they were getting bored.

“Aw, finish it, guys.  I don’t want to be late and miss my opportunity to look into their dreamy eyes,” @blybrook PE whined, twirling their extensions around their finger idly as they leaned back on their heels to check out the ajar door to the sound stage.  “I hope their eyes are brown…” They mused softly as @LyceeFruit began stuffing the wound opening with cotton balls and makeup sponges.

@MEtoEE was a regular contestant/townsperson.

The remaining players are:

@squaretaper PE, @ChebyshevII PE, @ChaosMuppetPE, @jean15paul_PE, @blybrook PE, @Roarbark, @chart94, @txjennah PE, @leggo PE, @tj_PE, @NikR_PE, @Spickett, @LyceeFruit, @RBHeadge PE, @vhab49_PE, @MadamPirate, and @Audi driver, P.E.

The final vote was:

7 @MEtoEE

4 @Audi driver, P.E.

2 @Spickett

1 @ChebyshevII PE

1 @jean15paul_PE

1 @ChaosMuppetPE

 
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“What if they really are just here to find the one who completes their closed circuit?”
@JayKay PE Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

Also, most of my reactions to this are found on various people in this gif: 
giphy.gif


Edit: But holy crap @JayKay PE, that was amazing. You 100% write, or at the very least do fanfiction for something.

Edit 2: Also, sorry @MEtoEE. The towelie story probably started it all. Please join again next time. 

 
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