I feel so too. But last time we had 3 mafia with 11 players, they dedded the town pretty quick.
EB Mafia
- Thread starter ChebyshevII PE PMP
- Start date
Help Support Professional Engineer & PE Exam Forum:
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Things were finally starting to be taken seriously in the gated community. At least four people had gone missing, with rumors of some being dead and not just vacationing in Boca Raton, and things had become a little...tense. House values had decreased by 0.7%, there were murmurs of the Non-denominational holiday party being cancelled, and at least one landscaper had 'forgotten' the code to the entrance gate so they didn't have to prune the bushes twice a week. The swan-shaped bushes were started to look shabby and thus, drastic action had to be taken:
The HOA Board of Directors would meet.
The dark stone walls seemed slick with some type of liquid, reflected dully by nearby LED candles. The dim light flickered over the various weapons mounted on the wall ranging from the Master Sword to Anduril. In the corner a dehumidifier struggled to reduce the humidity levels to protect these movie-grade props.
The five members of the board entered, solemn steps treading heavily as they prepared for the discussion, long cloaks swishing against the ground. As one, in silence, they sat down in their pre-assigned seats.
"Hot tubs really are the best way to unwind," @chart94 said as their opening statement, shrugging off their plush bathrobe and relaxing in the massage chair that had a little bronze nameplate affixed to the side. They were very proud of the '@chart94, HOA president"; the font was a very good choice. "Now, what exactly is going on? I hear people are unhappy with our rules?"
"Well, er, not exactly," @Will.I.Am responded, "There seems to be a problem-"
"With the pool filter. It's just not catching all those leaves. I think we also need to get the heater replaced."
"Um, no, it seems to be-"
"@RBHeadge PE has been washing their car in their driveway and the soap is killing my daisies," sniped @MadamPirate from the other end of the table, "I think he needs to be punished."
"Duly noted." Responded @RBHeadge PE, who was dutifully taking the minutes using a very large feathered quill, because that's how you were supposed to take meeting minutes. "@RBHeadge PE will make sure to follow-up with @RBHeadge PE to discuss the necessary car washing that needs to be done bi-weekly."
@Will.I.Am shook their head in disbelief, "No, this has nothing to do with plants, or shrubs, or the garbage cans being left out-"
@chart94's gasped, "Garbage cans are being left out on the streets?" was drowned out by @Will.I.Am loudly speaking over them, "WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE MURDERS."
"I think you're being ridiculous," @MadamPirate said in the ensuing silence, "My flowers are much more important than that, plus they are earlier in the docket to be discussed."
"Why are you trying to deflect? Did you do it, Ms. Vice President?"
@MadamPirate scoffed. "I have much more important things than waste my time killed people by hand. How gauche. How plebeian."
"You're just the treasurer! You don't have the authority to do anything, much less change the order of discussion!" @vhab49_PE yelled, standing up so they could slam their hands on the heavy wooden table as punctuation, "You just sit there and tell us we can't spend money! Who does that? Money is supposed to be spent and you're some type-some type of money monarch who doesn't let us spend money! You're obviously planning these murders so you can have control of the deceased bank accounts!"
@Will.I.Am looked doubly offended, "You're the social events coordinator! I keep track of the money, you just spend it frivolously on unnecessary things! What was that $15k item from last month? Huh? Were you hiring someone to take care of those who stood in your way?" They squinted their eyes, "You've been up to something, funneling off funds for some type of special project."
@RBHeadge PE gasped and clung to @vhab49_PE, who looked woozy, "You know that was an approved expense to make the Charcuterie boards for the orphans!"
@Will.I.Am scoffed, "Really? I know for a fact those were only $6k! Where did the rest of the money go, @vhab49_PE, huh?"
When @vhab49_PE didn't respond, instead choosing the sullenly stare off into the distance while dramatically clinging to @RBHeadge PE, @Will.I.Am scoffed, "That's what I thought.
"I'm leaving. I need to let someone else know who will help me find @tj_PE. They never showed up for our weekly bridge, which obviously means something has happened." @Will.I.Am stood from the table and dramatically turned, bathrobe circling behind them in a beautiful arc as they strode to the stairway.
"Stop them! They know the secret to the weekly potluck salsa!" Cried @chart94, more worried about the community-approved recipe falling into the wrong hands than the bodies that were slowly piling up.
@RBHeadge PE and @vhab49_PE moved in sync, running to the wall to each grab a weapon.
Seeing the writing, quite literally, on the wall, @Will.I.Am armed themselves.
Unfortunately, whereas @RBHeadge PE and @vhab49_PE had grabbed authentic "Lord of the Rings" weapons made of forged steel , the weapon chosen by @Will.I.Am was artfully formed and painted rubber Stormbreaker from Avengers Infinity War.
A parry from @vhab49_PE caused half of the hammer to be lopped off. A follow-up slash from @RBHeadge PE wedged itself in the heavy rubber, yanking it from @Will.I.Am's hands. Backed into a corner, they glared at @vhab49_PE.
"I never liked your lemon bars." Was whispered defiantly as Orcrist, the sword of Thorin Oakenshield, was heaved over @vhab49_PE's shoulder and brought down in a heavy blow.
Of course, prop swords were usually not sharpened as much as their counterparts, so the sword wedged itself into the space between shoulder and neck with a meaty impact.
@Will.I.Am screamed and grabbed onto the sword blade with their right hand, attempting to yank out the prop, but it had notched itself into their collarbone. @vhab49_PE raised their foot and pushed on @Will.I.Am's chest, pulling, and the sword came free with a lurch, spraying @vhab49_PE with blood. Growling, @vhab49_PE struck again, attempting a thrust.
They struck somewhat incorrectly, requiring @vhab49_PE to yank it out again, batting away @Will.I.Am's weakening hold, to step closer.
@RBHeadge PE carefully wiped off their own sword before sheathing it in a scabbard, walking back to the meeting to flop into their chair as @vhab49_PE continued to stab again and again and again in the background. Sighing, they pulled the minutes back towards themselves. "Item number 3 on the agenda is the requirement for all new community members to be proficient in 18-hole golf. All in favor?"
Four hands raised in the air and the motion was passed.
@Will.I.Am was a good treasurer (aka; a townie extremely interested in HOA politics).
The remaining players are:
@ChebyshevII PE, @chart94, @RBHeadge PE, @NikR, @vhab49_PE, and @MadamPirate
The final vote was:
3 @Will.I.Am
1 @RBHeadge PE
1 @MadamPirate
The HOA Board of Directors would meet.
The dark stone walls seemed slick with some type of liquid, reflected dully by nearby LED candles. The dim light flickered over the various weapons mounted on the wall ranging from the Master Sword to Anduril. In the corner a dehumidifier struggled to reduce the humidity levels to protect these movie-grade props.
The five members of the board entered, solemn steps treading heavily as they prepared for the discussion, long cloaks swishing against the ground. As one, in silence, they sat down in their pre-assigned seats.
"Hot tubs really are the best way to unwind," @chart94 said as their opening statement, shrugging off their plush bathrobe and relaxing in the massage chair that had a little bronze nameplate affixed to the side. They were very proud of the '@chart94, HOA president"; the font was a very good choice. "Now, what exactly is going on? I hear people are unhappy with our rules?"
"Well, er, not exactly," @Will.I.Am responded, "There seems to be a problem-"
"With the pool filter. It's just not catching all those leaves. I think we also need to get the heater replaced."
"Um, no, it seems to be-"
"@RBHeadge PE has been washing their car in their driveway and the soap is killing my daisies," sniped @MadamPirate from the other end of the table, "I think he needs to be punished."
"Duly noted." Responded @RBHeadge PE, who was dutifully taking the minutes using a very large feathered quill, because that's how you were supposed to take meeting minutes. "@RBHeadge PE will make sure to follow-up with @RBHeadge PE to discuss the necessary car washing that needs to be done bi-weekly."
@Will.I.Am shook their head in disbelief, "No, this has nothing to do with plants, or shrubs, or the garbage cans being left out-"
@chart94's gasped, "Garbage cans are being left out on the streets?" was drowned out by @Will.I.Am loudly speaking over them, "WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE MURDERS."
"I think you're being ridiculous," @MadamPirate said in the ensuing silence, "My flowers are much more important than that, plus they are earlier in the docket to be discussed."
"Why are you trying to deflect? Did you do it, Ms. Vice President?"
@MadamPirate scoffed. "I have much more important things than waste my time killed people by hand. How gauche. How plebeian."
"You're just the treasurer! You don't have the authority to do anything, much less change the order of discussion!" @vhab49_PE yelled, standing up so they could slam their hands on the heavy wooden table as punctuation, "You just sit there and tell us we can't spend money! Who does that? Money is supposed to be spent and you're some type-some type of money monarch who doesn't let us spend money! You're obviously planning these murders so you can have control of the deceased bank accounts!"
@Will.I.Am looked doubly offended, "You're the social events coordinator! I keep track of the money, you just spend it frivolously on unnecessary things! What was that $15k item from last month? Huh? Were you hiring someone to take care of those who stood in your way?" They squinted their eyes, "You've been up to something, funneling off funds for some type of special project."
@RBHeadge PE gasped and clung to @vhab49_PE, who looked woozy, "You know that was an approved expense to make the Charcuterie boards for the orphans!"
@Will.I.Am scoffed, "Really? I know for a fact those were only $6k! Where did the rest of the money go, @vhab49_PE, huh?"
When @vhab49_PE didn't respond, instead choosing the sullenly stare off into the distance while dramatically clinging to @RBHeadge PE, @Will.I.Am scoffed, "That's what I thought.
"I'm leaving. I need to let someone else know who will help me find @tj_PE. They never showed up for our weekly bridge, which obviously means something has happened." @Will.I.Am stood from the table and dramatically turned, bathrobe circling behind them in a beautiful arc as they strode to the stairway.
"Stop them! They know the secret to the weekly potluck salsa!" Cried @chart94, more worried about the community-approved recipe falling into the wrong hands than the bodies that were slowly piling up.
@RBHeadge PE and @vhab49_PE moved in sync, running to the wall to each grab a weapon.
Seeing the writing, quite literally, on the wall, @Will.I.Am armed themselves.
Unfortunately, whereas @RBHeadge PE and @vhab49_PE had grabbed authentic "Lord of the Rings" weapons made of forged steel , the weapon chosen by @Will.I.Am was artfully formed and painted rubber Stormbreaker from Avengers Infinity War.
A parry from @vhab49_PE caused half of the hammer to be lopped off. A follow-up slash from @RBHeadge PE wedged itself in the heavy rubber, yanking it from @Will.I.Am's hands. Backed into a corner, they glared at @vhab49_PE.
"I never liked your lemon bars." Was whispered defiantly as Orcrist, the sword of Thorin Oakenshield, was heaved over @vhab49_PE's shoulder and brought down in a heavy blow.
Of course, prop swords were usually not sharpened as much as their counterparts, so the sword wedged itself into the space between shoulder and neck with a meaty impact.
@Will.I.Am screamed and grabbed onto the sword blade with their right hand, attempting to yank out the prop, but it had notched itself into their collarbone. @vhab49_PE raised their foot and pushed on @Will.I.Am's chest, pulling, and the sword came free with a lurch, spraying @vhab49_PE with blood. Growling, @vhab49_PE struck again, attempting a thrust.
They struck somewhat incorrectly, requiring @vhab49_PE to yank it out again, batting away @Will.I.Am's weakening hold, to step closer.
@RBHeadge PE carefully wiped off their own sword before sheathing it in a scabbard, walking back to the meeting to flop into their chair as @vhab49_PE continued to stab again and again and again in the background. Sighing, they pulled the minutes back towards themselves. "Item number 3 on the agenda is the requirement for all new community members to be proficient in 18-hole golf. All in favor?"
Four hands raised in the air and the motion was passed.
@Will.I.Am was a good treasurer (aka; a townie extremely interested in HOA politics).
The remaining players are:
@ChebyshevII PE, @chart94, @RBHeadge PE, @NikR, @vhab49_PE, and @MadamPirate
The final vote was:
3 @Will.I.Am
1 @RBHeadge PE
1 @MadamPirate
Last edited by a moderator:
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chart94 PE
I am the liquor
- Joined
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Quick update before I go to the gym! Have a fun day voting, guys!
---
Following the over-dramatic HOA meeting, where the resolution was passed to now make all front doors crimson (instead of cherry), @chart94 sighed at an evening well-spent. I mean, of course there was that unpleasantry concerning the whole 'disposing' of @Will.I.Am, but when someone's vision goes against the community...it was the greater good to trim the bonsai so it can grow to its full potential.
They reached over to grab their specially imported wine from a region that a normal person wouldn't know of, much less be able to pronounce, only to frown in dismay when the swirl of grit in the bottom of the bottle heralded the opening of another bottle. Groaning, @chart94 prepared themselves to go into the sub-surface wine cellar than had been installed in their yearly kitchen renovation. They hated the spiral staircase: it was soooo fashionable, but it sucked on the knees once it became cold.
Before they were able to make a decision on getting up, a shadow rose up from behind their recliner and a hand slammed down on the lower half of their face. At a disadvantage, @chart94 squirmed fruitlessly against the plushness of their chair, unable to gain enough leverage to push their body up. Their eyes roamed the overstuffed fabric framing their face, barely catching a glimpse of another arm reaching out to grab the corkscrew that had been laid every so innocently next to their evening wine by a butler.
@chart94 gnawed desperately at the gloved hand clamped over their mouth, both as an attempt to escape but also as a way to grit themselves against the pain jackknifing through their skull. The attacker's hand move minutely and the corkscrew pierced the sphere of their eyeball. Wetness trickled down their cheek, tears mixed with eyeball humor clinging to their skin as they fought against their body jerking from the pain. If they moved the damage would only be worsened and already the plastic surgeon bill was astronomical!
For a moment they hoped that the attacker would stop, obviously blinding them in one eye would be enough of a means of making them a social outcast, but the pain skyrocketed when the corkscrew continued its descent. Their body went lax as the rush of endorphins blocked out the pain and they went into shock at blood loss and the grinding of stainless steel against their eye socket. @chart94's vision wavered as their optic nerve was snagged and twisted around the metal, the corkscrew going and deeper and deeper into their skull.
Then the murderer pulled the corkscrew out in one viscous yank.
@chart94 was killed by the mafia last night.
The remaining players are:
@ChebyshevII PE, @RBHeadge PE, @NikR, @vhab49_PE, and @MadamPirate
---
Following the over-dramatic HOA meeting, where the resolution was passed to now make all front doors crimson (instead of cherry), @chart94 sighed at an evening well-spent. I mean, of course there was that unpleasantry concerning the whole 'disposing' of @Will.I.Am, but when someone's vision goes against the community...it was the greater good to trim the bonsai so it can grow to its full potential.
They reached over to grab their specially imported wine from a region that a normal person wouldn't know of, much less be able to pronounce, only to frown in dismay when the swirl of grit in the bottom of the bottle heralded the opening of another bottle. Groaning, @chart94 prepared themselves to go into the sub-surface wine cellar than had been installed in their yearly kitchen renovation. They hated the spiral staircase: it was soooo fashionable, but it sucked on the knees once it became cold.
Before they were able to make a decision on getting up, a shadow rose up from behind their recliner and a hand slammed down on the lower half of their face. At a disadvantage, @chart94 squirmed fruitlessly against the plushness of their chair, unable to gain enough leverage to push their body up. Their eyes roamed the overstuffed fabric framing their face, barely catching a glimpse of another arm reaching out to grab the corkscrew that had been laid every so innocently next to their evening wine by a butler.
@chart94 gnawed desperately at the gloved hand clamped over their mouth, both as an attempt to escape but also as a way to grit themselves against the pain jackknifing through their skull. The attacker's hand move minutely and the corkscrew pierced the sphere of their eyeball. Wetness trickled down their cheek, tears mixed with eyeball humor clinging to their skin as they fought against their body jerking from the pain. If they moved the damage would only be worsened and already the plastic surgeon bill was astronomical!
For a moment they hoped that the attacker would stop, obviously blinding them in one eye would be enough of a means of making them a social outcast, but the pain skyrocketed when the corkscrew continued its descent. Their body went lax as the rush of endorphins blocked out the pain and they went into shock at blood loss and the grinding of stainless steel against their eye socket. @chart94's vision wavered as their optic nerve was snagged and twisted around the metal, the corkscrew going and deeper and deeper into their skull.
Then the murderer pulled the corkscrew out in one viscous yank.
@chart94 was killed by the mafia last night.
The remaining players are:
@ChebyshevII PE, @RBHeadge PE, @NikR, @vhab49_PE, and @MadamPirate
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2017
- Messages
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- 2,414
Dammit. We need backup!
chart94 PE
I am the liquor
- Joined
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- Joined
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@JayKay PE I vote for @ChebyshevII PE for now. Hopefully I can sneak back on in a bit, family is under a technology ban right now. I have resprted to sneaking my phone into the bathroom. Sigh.
- Joined
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@JayKay PE
and this vote is keeping from from box seats at Hamilton. (in character, no I don't actually have tix)
I vote for @ChebyshevII PE.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back before they start singing "My Shot".
and this vote is keeping from from box seats at Hamilton. (in character, no I don't actually have tix)
I vote for @ChebyshevII PE.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back before they start singing "My Shot".
