EB Mafia
- Thread starter ChebyshevII PE PMP
- Start date
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CAN I JUST SAY @ChebyshevII PEI was like mehhhhhhh when you first offered this and now I live for eb Mafia.
- Joined
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- Reaction score
- 5,050
This is a side of me I thought i’d Never see. I don’t even have Instagram. I think the only social media sites I have left are LinkedIn and this.
- Joined
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- Joined
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- Messages
- 9,037
- Reaction score
- 5,050
...sorry.
---
@RBHeadge PE sighed as they carefully disconnected the VR headset and unplugged their noise-cancelling headphones. A fully immersive Tibetan retreat was exactly what they needed these past couple of days to cut down the stress in life. Linda, their newest maid, was so troubling. It’s almost as if she was treating cleaning their modest-sized home as a job instead of the fruitful career that it was!
Besides it was only 8,000-square feet. Nothing on the vacation house in the Hamptons they went to for two months to decompress, and they lived in this house at least 3-months out of the year, so there was plenty to do! The Hampton maid so much more well-mannered that this current hire. Maybe they’d fly Sandra out to help with this house. It was much easier to have her come with them place to place than actually vacuum themselves.
Oh, but if they brought Sandra out here, who would make sure the Charlie was at the airport to pick them up and that the kitchen was stocked with Tate’s?
Ugh, owning too much land and property was such a hassle.
Noticing that the temperature had suddenly dropped while they were meditating, @RBHeadge PE shuffled into a pair of organically-sourced wool slippers. The wool was gathered by hand from bushes the sheep had caught themselves on, so they were very expensive, very rare, and were a garish shade of red that offended. The perfect house slipper.
Once respectfully shod, they left their meditation den and purposefully made their way to the 4-car garage. Ignoring the blast of warmth that came from the ceiling mounted heaters in the area, a must in this dreadful temperate climate, @RBHeadge PE approached the heavy tool chest. Opening and slamming closed the drawers, their motions became more and more panicked, before they switched to the other tool chest and repeated the action.
Then they found it. Grasping it firmly in one hand, they turned to their multiple vehicles. They had been putting it off for some time, but now was the perfect day to finish the job.
They walked past the atrocious Hummer GT. The velvet-painted Ferrari. They paused at the Bentley Continental, rapping their nails on the hood for a moment, before continuing onto the main objective. This was it. Time to get the deed done. They crouched in front of the last vehicle and fiddled with the object in their hands.
Gently, ever so gently, they slipped the tiny sweater onto the Jaguar hood ornament.
There. Wouldn’t want it to get cold.
Sitting back to enjoy their work, they really were so considerate, their wall-mounted monitor sprung to life: Incoming call - @tj_PE
Sighing, because couldn’t they just bask in the joy of a good job, @RBHeadge PE reluctantly left behind their pièce de résistance to answer the video call.
Heavy, raspy, breathing echoed in the cavernous garage when the call connected with the video juddering from side to side, catching snatches of trees and the beautifully manicured park the community was so proud of.
How rude. Not even showing their face during the call? What was the point of a video call if you didn’t show off your flawless eyeliner or new haircut, thought @RBHeadge PE.
There were snatches of color, flushed skin and a stained-once white-shirt coming into view before the images swung again, pointing towards the back of the person. A phone flashlight barely made a dent in the woods, which had timed overhead lights to prevent loitering. There was a dark patch of something that was following, slowly but surely gaining ground, but making much less of a fuss.
Ah, one of those immersive running fitness regimes where you’re chased. How novel!
“Anyone? Who’s there? I’-someone is here. They’re-“ A muffled yelp as @tj_PE tripped over a root. They had left the carefully tended pathway. For what reason, who knows? Those pathways were there for a reason. “I-“ A gasp as @tj_PE abruptly ran into a tree, the ripping sound of bark being detached background music to her muffled curse, obviously caused by them looking behind them instead of forward as all runners were taught.
Seriously.
The phone landed on the ground, @tj_PE must have forgotten her PopSocket or else it would have stayed firmly in her grasp, sending the images wildly whirling for a moment before settling at a crooked degree.
At least @RBHeadge PE was still able to see what was going on. What happened when the person hired to chase after you caught you? Were they personal trainer? Maybe they should look into this program if @tj_PE was getting such great results, they looked like they’ve gone down at least 3 dress sizes already from when @RBHeadge PE last saw them.
The shuffle of soggy leaves was heard, but not seen, as the personal trainer approached. @tj_PE attempted to breathe through the tears and snot as they crab-walked backwards. They kept falling awkwardly when they used their right hand, a strange pop sounding and their shoulder jerking up oddly from the angle @RBHeadge PE was able to see. It also looked like @tj_PE had recently been doing garden work, due to the huge amount of scratches going up and down their arms.
A rookie mistake, training while injured.
“Please, please don’t, I won’t tell them who you are, what you did to @blybrook PE, I won’t-“ A cut-off shriek as a massive rock flew at their face from off-screen, cracking into jaw and cheek bone. A piece of something, maybe bit-off tongue, flew from the mess of mashed pulp. “I won taall unny,” @tj_PE slurred wetly from their new position on the ground, leaf matter grinding into the open wound, which was slightly distressing, but personal trainers do know best.
A booted foot came into view for a moment before it was ****** back and slammed into @tj_PEj’s skull with a meaty thunk. Seconds later, drawn by the phone flashlight, a gloved hand appeared and covered the video, with the call ending right after.
For a moment, @RBHeadge PE thought of reporting this. It would be great gossip. Everyone would be asking them for their opinion. Then the mounting pressure in their chest made them realize their stress levels were increasing again. They did like @tj_PE, but it probably wasn’t that serious. Head wounds always bled so much more than everything else. With pursed lips they made their way into the house and back into their meditation den. It was probably better they decompressed a little bit more before they made any hasty decisions.
@tj_PE was killed by the mafia last night.
The remaining players are:
@ChebyshevII PE, @chart94, @RBHeadge PE, @Will.I.Am, @NikR, @vhab49_PE, and @MadamPirate
---
@RBHeadge PE sighed as they carefully disconnected the VR headset and unplugged their noise-cancelling headphones. A fully immersive Tibetan retreat was exactly what they needed these past couple of days to cut down the stress in life. Linda, their newest maid, was so troubling. It’s almost as if she was treating cleaning their modest-sized home as a job instead of the fruitful career that it was!
Besides it was only 8,000-square feet. Nothing on the vacation house in the Hamptons they went to for two months to decompress, and they lived in this house at least 3-months out of the year, so there was plenty to do! The Hampton maid so much more well-mannered that this current hire. Maybe they’d fly Sandra out to help with this house. It was much easier to have her come with them place to place than actually vacuum themselves.
Oh, but if they brought Sandra out here, who would make sure the Charlie was at the airport to pick them up and that the kitchen was stocked with Tate’s?
Ugh, owning too much land and property was such a hassle.
Noticing that the temperature had suddenly dropped while they were meditating, @RBHeadge PE shuffled into a pair of organically-sourced wool slippers. The wool was gathered by hand from bushes the sheep had caught themselves on, so they were very expensive, very rare, and were a garish shade of red that offended. The perfect house slipper.
Once respectfully shod, they left their meditation den and purposefully made their way to the 4-car garage. Ignoring the blast of warmth that came from the ceiling mounted heaters in the area, a must in this dreadful temperate climate, @RBHeadge PE approached the heavy tool chest. Opening and slamming closed the drawers, their motions became more and more panicked, before they switched to the other tool chest and repeated the action.
Then they found it. Grasping it firmly in one hand, they turned to their multiple vehicles. They had been putting it off for some time, but now was the perfect day to finish the job.
They walked past the atrocious Hummer GT. The velvet-painted Ferrari. They paused at the Bentley Continental, rapping their nails on the hood for a moment, before continuing onto the main objective. This was it. Time to get the deed done. They crouched in front of the last vehicle and fiddled with the object in their hands.
Gently, ever so gently, they slipped the tiny sweater onto the Jaguar hood ornament.
There. Wouldn’t want it to get cold.
Sitting back to enjoy their work, they really were so considerate, their wall-mounted monitor sprung to life: Incoming call - @tj_PE
Sighing, because couldn’t they just bask in the joy of a good job, @RBHeadge PE reluctantly left behind their pièce de résistance to answer the video call.
Heavy, raspy, breathing echoed in the cavernous garage when the call connected with the video juddering from side to side, catching snatches of trees and the beautifully manicured park the community was so proud of.
How rude. Not even showing their face during the call? What was the point of a video call if you didn’t show off your flawless eyeliner or new haircut, thought @RBHeadge PE.
There were snatches of color, flushed skin and a stained-once white-shirt coming into view before the images swung again, pointing towards the back of the person. A phone flashlight barely made a dent in the woods, which had timed overhead lights to prevent loitering. There was a dark patch of something that was following, slowly but surely gaining ground, but making much less of a fuss.
Ah, one of those immersive running fitness regimes where you’re chased. How novel!
“Anyone? Who’s there? I’-someone is here. They’re-“ A muffled yelp as @tj_PE tripped over a root. They had left the carefully tended pathway. For what reason, who knows? Those pathways were there for a reason. “I-“ A gasp as @tj_PE abruptly ran into a tree, the ripping sound of bark being detached background music to her muffled curse, obviously caused by them looking behind them instead of forward as all runners were taught.
Seriously.
The phone landed on the ground, @tj_PE must have forgotten her PopSocket or else it would have stayed firmly in her grasp, sending the images wildly whirling for a moment before settling at a crooked degree.
At least @RBHeadge PE was still able to see what was going on. What happened when the person hired to chase after you caught you? Were they personal trainer? Maybe they should look into this program if @tj_PE was getting such great results, they looked like they’ve gone down at least 3 dress sizes already from when @RBHeadge PE last saw them.
The shuffle of soggy leaves was heard, but not seen, as the personal trainer approached. @tj_PE attempted to breathe through the tears and snot as they crab-walked backwards. They kept falling awkwardly when they used their right hand, a strange pop sounding and their shoulder jerking up oddly from the angle @RBHeadge PE was able to see. It also looked like @tj_PE had recently been doing garden work, due to the huge amount of scratches going up and down their arms.
A rookie mistake, training while injured.
“Please, please don’t, I won’t tell them who you are, what you did to @blybrook PE, I won’t-“ A cut-off shriek as a massive rock flew at their face from off-screen, cracking into jaw and cheek bone. A piece of something, maybe bit-off tongue, flew from the mess of mashed pulp. “I won taall unny,” @tj_PE slurred wetly from their new position on the ground, leaf matter grinding into the open wound, which was slightly distressing, but personal trainers do know best.
A booted foot came into view for a moment before it was ****** back and slammed into @tj_PEj’s skull with a meaty thunk. Seconds later, drawn by the phone flashlight, a gloved hand appeared and covered the video, with the call ending right after.
For a moment, @RBHeadge PE thought of reporting this. It would be great gossip. Everyone would be asking them for their opinion. Then the mounting pressure in their chest made them realize their stress levels were increasing again. They did like @tj_PE, but it probably wasn’t that serious. Head wounds always bled so much more than everything else. With pursed lips they made their way into the house and back into their meditation den. It was probably better they decompressed a little bit more before they made any hasty decisions.
@tj_PE was killed by the mafia last night.
The remaining players are:
@ChebyshevII PE, @chart94, @RBHeadge PE, @Will.I.Am, @NikR, @vhab49_PE, and @MadamPirate
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm back after 4 days away. Too lazy / busy to read everything. Anyone want to summarize the highlights? 
I would recommend reading @JayKay PE's writings. They're great.I'm back after 4 days away. Too lazy / busy to read everything. Anyone want to summarize the highlights?
Got Mafia civilrobot day one, bly dedded during the night, accidentally lynched townie ranger yesterday, I announced suspicion of will and rb and got dedded last night
blybrook PE
Veteran 10k Spammer
@JayKay PE I vote for that murderous barista. Everyone knows that only gerbils go in microwaves!
https://joecartoon.com/watch/w0bbbc/Gerbil_in_a_Microwave?list=dynamic&category_id=0&synd_channel_id=0&time=last_7_days
https://joecartoon.com/watch/w0bbbc/Gerbil_in_a_Microwave?list=dynamic&category_id=0&synd_channel_id=0&time=last_7_days
If the cop is still alive, I hope they have identified at least a couple folks so they can lead us in today's lynch
- Joined
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