Bad advice to previous poster

[Dleg]

Forget the car and head down to the heavy equipment rental and get yourself a D-9 Bulldozer. Tell you boss you decided to get some work done on the way to the meeting.

I have a pre-bid conference and site visit for one of the projects that I supervised and stamped, but I don't want to go. What's a good option for me here?

 

[TESTY]

Draft an addendum and send to plan holders and the owner, (who is hired your firm), that the meeting in non-mandatory and likely to be really boring, so you are going to go golfing instead.

How do I distract the kids at tourist traps, so that I don't have to spend a small fortune on candy, junk food, trinkets, toys etc. , on the next family excursion to one of those types of places.

 

[P-E]

Glad you asked. Teach them the art of shoplifting. They get the goods and you don't pay.

How fast is too fast on the freeway?

 

[matt267 PE]

You should limit your freeway speed to about 10mph.

How should I discipline my wife?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

You shouldn't have to discipline her as the training process should have been completed before you got married. Divorce her and start over.

The power keeps going out at the office and it keeps losing my work on my computer, what's the best way to slip out so no one knows I left?

 

[Dleg]

Easy - fake your own death by spontaneous combustion: Next time the power goes out, burn a couple of crumpled up newspaper pages on your chair, leave your shoes on the floor, and slip out unnoticed while people are freaking out about the flames.

I think one of my ears might be plugged up with wax. Any suggestions on how to correct the problem?

 

[Supe]

Direct hit from a pressure washer will have it squeaky clean in no time.

Should I come to work and be responsible on my day off, or blow off Friday and leave the contractors to fend for themselves?

 

[P-E]

No take the contractors to a strip club and bill the project; everyone wins.

I locked my wife's car keys in her car. What do I do?

 

[Supe]

Replace the wife with one that doesn't do that.

Can't get rid of this damned cough - what to do?

 

[P-E]

Eat five bags of halls cough drops, wash down with a bottle of gin and call me in the morning.

I'm feeling tired at work a lot. Should I cut back on drinking?

 

[matt267 PE]

No, just mix the booze with Red Bull.

What is the best way to catch up on my backlog of files?

 

[Dleg]

An unfortunate fire that destroys the office. :dunno:

I removed my daughter's childhood bunkbed and replaced it with a regular bed, but now she has so much childhood memories stuff that she was storing on top of the old bed, like books and drawings and stuffed animals. Right now they're all just piled up on the floor, and she is begging me for a bookshelf or something to organize it all. What do you recommend?

 

[P-E]

An unfortunate fire that destroys the bunk bed and all the stuff

I have to paint the walls at my rental apartment. looking for short cuts. How do I save time?

 

[Supe]

A civil war cannon and a few gallons of paint ought to take care of it.

How do I sneak out of work early today and avoid all the calls/emails from management?

 

[Lumber Jim]

An unfortunate fire that destroys the office...

I haven't been sleeping well lately. What should I do?

 

[matt267 PE]

Go start a fire.

How do I convince adobe to support Linux.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Go start a fire.

How do I put out all of these seemingly random fires around the office?

 

[matt267 PE]

If you wait long enough, they'll put themselves out.

What should I have for lunch?

 

[Supe]

Soylent Green is in season.

What should I drink to help soothe this cough?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Something freshly roasted from the office fridge...

I'm going out of town for the next few days and won't have access to my workout equipment. Suggestions to keep going without it?