Bad advice to previous poster

[TESTY]

Convince the ladies your neck works way better than a thigh master.

How do I pick avocado's that are out of reach of my fruit picker without damaging them?

 

[Supe]

Hire a taller fruit picker. Preferably one that uses stilts and is slightly intoxicated. They have softer hands, and are less likely to damage the avocado.

How can I drive down the cost of my roof and HVAC replacement?

 

[blybrook PE]

By removing the roof completely. Plenty of fresh air and cooling. Burn the removed materials as a heat source come winter.

How can I get the neighbors cats to stop using the raised beds as a private litter box? Electric fence hasn't worked.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Shotgun.

What type of car should I get as a commuter so I'm not logging so many miles on the Camaro.

 

[knight1fox3]

This. And it even matches the Bee's colors.



Thigh master idea didn't work for the neck cramp. What next?

 

[matt267 PE]

Lots and lots of booze.

What should I have for breakfast.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Bacon. You don't joke about that.

How should I get caught up with all these unread threads from the last week?

 

[matt267 PE]

ask your boss to hire an intern for help.

What should I do this weekend?

 

[knight1fox3]

Base jumping.

How do I get a refund for a bad motherboard purchased off ebay?

 

[goodal]

Give them a bad review.

How do I get all the crap done today that I'm supposed to.

 

[ventilator]

Postpone your deadline until Monday.

How do you get someone to understand doing low profit/high liability work isn't something you like?

 

[goodal]

Take on a bunch of it and see what happens when the crap hits the fan.

How do I bulk up for the summer?

 

[knight1fox3]

How can I get my new car stereo parts I ordered from ebay quicker?

 

[TESTY]

Take some coma inducing pills, and when you wake up 3 days later the parts will be on your chest. It'll feel quicker.

What heath/fitness improving exercise and diet should I do in order maintain optimum health and eat 3 packs of bacon and drink 3 cases of beer every week?

 

[Lumber Jim]

start doing "butter" flies with 5 lb. tubs of butter in between dosing yourself with beer and bacon... The exercise gets easier as you start to use up the butter in your bacon samiches. BTW, You'll need the bread to make a balanced diet. If you work hard you'll be doing 100 rep sets in no time and enjoying the good life!!!

What's the best way to ensure that I have no work contact during Vacation?

 

[Supe]

Stopping everyone else is tough. Suicide takes care of it on your end, so that's your best bet.

My left ear hurts. I think I'm getting an ear/sinus/chest infection. What should I do?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Cut it off and use a red-hot metal rod to seal the hole before the infection sets in.

How do I prevent my wife from going to Ikea?

 

[Supe]

Take her to a high end furniture store instead and tell her "cost is no object."

These peanuts are making my mouth dry. What to do?

 

[matt267 PE]

suck harder.

How do I get all this work done.

 

[Ble_PE]

Quit, then you don't have to finish it.

How can I guarantee that I'll hit the jackpot in the lottery this week?