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How do you tell a co-worker that you really appreciate them?

 
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How do I stop my back pain now that the muscle relaxers have gone in the trash?

 
Show up drunk. Sometimes forgiveness is easier than permission.

How do I find a new job that uses my "particular set of skills" and meets my financial demands?

 
Flood the market via singing telegrams to your competitors. Demand 200% over any offers you may receive.

How can I make this Mountain Dew fizzy again?

 
Boil it and drink immediately.

How do I end my addiction to eb.com?

 
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You don't. Just give in and become one with the forum. It's easier that way.

How can I get rid of this headache?

 
Chop off your leg, the shock will take care of it.

How do I pick sure-fire lottery ticket numbers?

 
easy: pick 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

how do I leave work early and take a long lunch with out my boss noticing?

 
puke on his shoes, he won't care if you leave.

what should I have for lunch?

 
ever heard of a three martini lunch?

What should I get my wife for christmas?

 
In the most condescending way possible.

How do I tell my 6 yo daughter that I am smarter than her?

 
Your replacement!

How can I get people to read the previous posts before posting? (...all in fun Ble)

 

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