Would a centaur do this?

[Dleg]

^^THAT is awesome! :lmao:

 

[Dleg]

I'm not sure if I'll have much time to check in tomorrow, so I'll post the answer to the inevitable question of:

"So, now how does the hyrda clean the poop off her snake hair?"

(Or is she a Medusa? I can't remember. Thank God they didn't test us for ancient Greek mythology on the PE exam).

I believe this completes the trilogy.

View attachment 2800

 

[frazil]

unbelievable... :Locolaugh: dleg, you have some mad skillz!!

 

[bigray76]

Now, the question becomes "How does the unicorn wipe its own ass?"

I was going to say that the centaur wiped the unicorn's ass after he cleaned off the horn.

Would you really want to decapitate medusa's head if the snakes were all covered in ****? You may want to wear gloves if that is your plan, right?

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Upon further reflection, I think I have answered my own question:

I don't buy this one DLeg. I gotta figure that the snake's on the hydra's head are your run of the mill garter snake. I bet they are probably some pretty pissed off venmous fuckers. If subjected to being used as TP for a unicorn, I'd imagine they'd bite it and poison it. As much as I'd wanna get **** off my appendages, it just ain't worth dying over.

 

[frazil]

 

[Guest]

^^^ Awesome !!! lusone: :Locolaugh: :Locolaugh:

JR

 

[roadwreck]

I don't buy this one DLeg. I gotta figure that the snake's on the hydra's head are your run of the mill garter snake. I bet they are probably some pretty pissed off venmous fuckers. If subjected to being used as TP for a unicorn, I'd imagine they'd bite it and poison it. As much as I'd wanna get **** off my appendages, it just ain't worth dying over.

Ah, but if we learned anything from Harry Potter and the Scourer's (or Philosopher's if you are in Europe) Stone, it was that unicorn blood was magical and could keep you alive even if you were an inch from death. So one could reasonably presume that venom from a snake would not travel through the bloodstream of a unicorn, and thus the "Hydra-head toilet paper" would be feasible.

(Do I win nerd of the day honors for whipping out the Harry Potter reference?)

 

[Slugger926]

Why not have T-shirts created at CafePress?

 

[Guest]

(Do I win nerd of the day honors for whipping out the Harry Potter reference?)

Winner !!!!!!!!!! :multiplespotting: :multiplespotting:

JR

 

[RatBlaster]

Centaurs are mythical creatures. Mythical creatures don't poop.

 

[bigray76]

Centaurs are mythical creatures. Mythical creatures don't poop.

To quote a wise man, a wastewater treatment plant tech, I met once on a college field trip:

"As long as people eat, people ****"

If a centaur ate what I would assume is a high fiber diet, mythical or not, he would eventually need to **** - unless his digestive system was such that there was no waste from the digestion process.... which I guess could be possible if we are dealing with a mythical creature.

Interesting point there RatBlaster.

 

[roadwreck]

Winner !!!!!!!!!! :multiplespotting: :multiplespotting:
JR

Funny thing is, I just realized that the character in Harry Potter that informs us that unicorn blood can save you 'even if you are an inch from death' was Firenze the centaur, providing further evidence that centaurs are well aware of the unicorns immunity to snake venom, and all but proving the Hydra-head toilet paper theory.

Centaurs are mythical creatures. Mythical creatures don't poop.

"As long as people eat, people ****"

Perhaps mythical creatures don't eat and as such do not poop.

Such an assumption is preposterous however as if this were the case then this topic would be totally ludicrous, and why would people as intelligent as a message board full of engineers waste time discussing something totally implausible?

 

[Fudgey]

allow Fudgey to present the following tale

Ella and the PottyWhen Ella was a little unicorn her mommy did everything for her. Like all little babies, she was helpless. She needed her mother's milk to grow and she needed her mommy to tuck her into bed. She needed her mommy to change her diapers and give her baths. She needed her daddy to carry her places and to play with her.

Then Ella started to grow. She got bigger and stronger and smarter everyday. By the time she was one she could walk and talk. She could giggle and play games. Now she could move around the house by herself and find all sorts of things to do. She still needed her mommy to give her food and change her diaper and sing songs with her and tuck her into bed. But she could decide what to eat from her plate and when she was full. She did notice that sometimes her diaper was wet or smelly and her bottom got sore if Mommy or Daddy didn't change it. Most of the time she didn't think about her pee or poop too much.

When Ella was two years old her mommy told her that she was getting old enough to pee and poop in the potty like the big unicorns. They looked around at all of their friends and family. Missy was an older cousin who looked almost like an adult. She went to high school and she peed and pooped in the potty. Breyden was just a baby�he couldn't even crawl yet. He still wore diapers. Mommy and Daddy wore panties and used the potty so their bottoms never got sore or smelly. Ella thought, 'Maybe I can go pee or poppy in the potty.'

Sometimes when she could tell that a poop was about to come, Ella went to a quiet place to poop. Then she would tell her mommy that she was 'poopy'. Sometimes, if her diaper was off while the bath water was running, she was surprised to see the pee come out her bottom. One time her mommy said, 'Your diaper is dry. Maybe if you sit on the potty you can put your pee in it.'

Ella sat down and peed in the potty. She was very excited and her mommy clapped her hands a lot and got very excited and called Grandma. Now Ella was afraid that she might not be able to go pee in the potty again and was afraid to try. Her mommy said, 'Okay, we all get scared sometimes. Just practice sitting on the potty again with your diaper on until you want to try without your diaper.'

One day her bottom got very sore and her mommy took her to the doctor's office. Dr Wanda explained, 'The cure for diaper rash in no diapers! Run around without your diaper as much as possible.' She told Ella's mommy to do some 'potty practice' time in the kitchen.

The next day Ella's mommy put the potty chair in the kitchen and told Ella that she was going to run around without a diaper or undies so that her bottom could get fresh air and so that she could run to the potty easily if a poop or pee was going to happen. Then they started to play.

First they made the cookie dough and put some in the freezer and baked some cookies. After they ate some cookies and drank some milk, Ella's stomach started to hurt and she thought, 'Maybe I am going to have a poop!' She ran to the little potty and sat down and the poop came out! She was so excited and her mommy came to her and said, 'Good job. Let's go put this in the big potty and wave bye-bye so that it can go and join all the other poopies to play.'

After that Ella's mother said, 'It's time to clean up.' Getting her hands wet made Ella's bottom feel funny and her pee come out. Ella's mommy said, 'Oh try to hold your pee and let's see if you can put some in the potty!' Mommy picked Ella up and carried her to the potty and put her on it. Ella sat there for a moment and then the pee came out her bottom and ran into the potty. Both she and her mommy thought that was pretty neat.

When he came home, Daddy kissed Ella and said, 'I am so proud of you peeing and pooping in the potty!' He liked her new undies with the bright rainbow on them. He took her to the potty and she tried to go pee but nothing came out. He said, ' You can try again later.' Then he changed his clothes and they started making macaroni and cheese. While the water was boiling, Ella�s bottom felt funny again and she ran to the potty and her pee came out. Everyone was so happy and Ella was so proud.

That night Ella put on her diaper to go to bed. Her mommy said, 'Little unicorns still wear diapers at night even when they wear undies during the day.' The next day Ella didn't want to wear her undies. She just wanted to wear her diaper. Her mommy said that was okay but her bottom would feel better with undies on. After lunch Ella went poop in her diaper and her bottom hurt. Her mommy said, 'Go get a diaper and wipes and we will change you.'

The wipes stung Ella's bottom. 'Can I wear my undies?', Ella asked.

'Sure,' Mommy said.

The rest of that day Ella went potty sometimes when her bottom felt funny and sometimes when her mommy told her to try. She only had one accident!

After the second day Ella wore her undies most of the time. Sometimes she would wear a diaper but they were sort of hard to walk around in and got hot easily. Her mommy said, 'Every time you use the potty we save a quarter on diapers. Let's put some quarters in a special jar when you use the potty.' When they had 4 quarters, Erinella and her mommy went to the store and bought some stickers.

After a while Ella forgot about the diapers and she just got up each morning and put on her undies. On rare days she forgot to go the potty when her tummy felt funny and would have an accident. Her mommy said that accidents happened once in a while to people when they were learning a new skill. Ella said, 'I wish I could just use the magic in my unicorn sot that I didn't have any more accidents!'

Mom replied, 'Life would be boring if we used magic when learning a new skill. Besides our magic only works when we are helping others.'

'Will you come wipe me after I go poop,' Ella asked

'Of course,' Mom said. 'but by the time you are four you will be able to wipe yourself. Did I tell you the story about Missy? When she was a little girl Missy didn't like to wipe herself so she called her mommy or daddy to help her wipe until she was 6 years old! Then Missy's mommy learned that 4 year olds could wipe themselves and she told Missy that she had to wipe her own bottom.' Ella and Mommy giggled over how silly Missy was. When Ella asked Missy about the story Missy just laughed and said that it was true�live and learn she said. Then they went to the store and bought some ice cream with Ella's special quarters.

 

[cement]

shouldn't you be studying dude?

 

[FusionWhite]

I cant believe I read all that. I feel very......dirty

 

[Dleg]

That was creepy. But I suppose it serves as proof that unicorns do, in fact, eat and crap.

But the rest of this thread is awesome. It's taken on a life of its own.

My favorite line so far:

If a centaur ate what I would assume is a high fiber diet...

Good assumption!

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

and why would people as intelligent as a message board full of engineers waste time discussing something totally implausible?

Otherwise we'd be sitting in our office designing something totally implausible.

 

[roadwreck]

Otherwise we'd be sitting in our office cubicles designing something totally implausible.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Otherwise we'd be sitting in our office designing something totally implausible.

Or designing something with foolish amounts of horsepower...

<finishes BOV placement for a quad turbo flat twelve>