The Christmas 2013 thread

[Supe]

^^^ Because her bathtub is already filled with a mountain of water-soaked tampons, of course.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

since the wife is the real grinch in the house, Im gonna set her up for something too, like empty all her tampons into the bath tub and fill it with water?

Soak those things in betadene and leave them around.

We did it when I was a lifegaurd and the manager was leaving. "It's the end of an era...the end of a period...Kathy's period."

Then it made it around to everyone's locker.

 

[MA_PE]

Can't say as I'd warm up to any of those "tricks". I'd be bullsh%t. Sounds like torturing people....but with Christmas spirit.

 

[csb]

Elf on the Shelf sounds like a lot of work. We barely pull off Santa.

 

[snickerd3]

if i wanted to go the santas watching route all I gotta say is the santa on teh countdown clock is a spy for santa. he watches to see good/bad behavior. a lot easier and minisnick already loves the thing

 

[Supe]

Elf on the Shelf sounds like a lot of work. We barely pull off Santa.

I bust out the Elf on the Shelf yearly. I go with some damn good hiding places. Hidden in bird cages, unreachable light fixtures (bust out the ladder), etc. We told junior that if you touch "Jingle" (the elf's name), that it dies and turns into a toy, resulting in Santa having to send a new spy elf. So she creeps downstairs every morning in an obvious state of paranoia, eyes peering everywhere for where that little red ******* may be hiding. It's funny as hell.

The upside is that she is on her best behavior for the month of December, because she knows her actions are being reported back to the North Pole.

 

[envirotex]

my kids think he's creepy.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

 

[FLBuff PE]

We started doing Elf on the Shelf this year, but we also think it is a little creepy that he is a 'spy'. So we set it up that he is just here to have some fun and cause a little mischief. So far he has been on the pogo stick, and last night he "parachuted" from the dining room chandelier.

 

[Slugger926]

Tell me, are there such a thing a Christmas lights that don't have to be replaced every year? We have to buy brand new lights every stinking year because the brand new ones we bought last year went bad sitting in a box for 11 months. How does that happen? Do spiders chew through cables or what? I would gladly pay extra for good lights if I could find them.

Biodegrading conductors required by the EPA due to the ammount of lights that end up in landfills each year.

 

[Slugger926]

Elf on the Shelf sounds like a lot of work. We barely pull off Santa.

I bust out the Elf on the Shelf yearly. I go with some damn good hiding places. Hidden in bird cages, unreachable light fixtures (bust out the ladder), etc. We told junior that if you touch "Jingle" (the elf's name), that it dies and turns into a toy, resulting in Santa having to send a new spy elf. So she creeps downstairs every morning in an obvious state of paranoia, eyes peering everywhere for where that little red ******* may be hiding. It's funny as hell.

The upside is that she is on her best behavior for the month of December, because she knows her actions are being reported back to the North Pole.

We convinsed our kids that our motion detector is actually a camera going directly to the North Pole. The red LED lights up on it anytime it detects motion so along with the kids watching the Polar Express to know the elves have a room of video monitors, they are on good behavior. They are also scared of the Elf on the Shelf thing although he gets into some trouble especially when Barbie is around.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

I have a stocking with a black Lab on it. In case that surprises nobody.

 

[csb]

Elf on the Shelf sounds like a lot of work. We barely pull off Santa.

I bust out the Elf on the Shelf yearly. I go with some damn good hiding places. Hidden in bird cages, unreachable light fixtures (bust out the ladder), etc. We told junior that if you touch "Jingle" (the elf's name), that it dies and turns into a toy, resulting in Santa having to send a new spy elf. So she creeps downstairs every morning in an obvious state of paranoia, eyes peering everywhere for where that little red ******* may be hiding. It's funny as hell.

The upside is that she is on her best behavior for the month of December, because she knows her actions are being reported back to the North Pole.

We convinsed our kids that our motion detector is actually a camera going directly to the North Pole. The red LED lights up on it anytime it detects motion so along with the kids watching the Polar Express to know the elves have a room of video monitors, they are on good behavior. They are also scared of the Elf on the Shelf thing although he gets into some trouble especially when Barbie is around.

Hookers and blow for the Elf on the Shelf?

 

[Capt Worley PE]

 

[envirotex]

^^^ that's funny.

Winter has returned here...time for some Christmas cheer.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Winter has returned here...

I'm not going to worry about the fact that it's nearly freezing there.

 

[snickerd3]

^^^ that's funny.

Winter has returned here...time for some Christmas cheer.

look up naughty elf on the shelf online...there are some ttruely funny ones

 

[MetsFan]

Im talking run of the mill indoor lights. Granted, I'm buying them at Walmart or Lowes, not Macys, but I still expect at least a couple of uses out of them before they croak.

I got my lights at Target and Walmart and haven't had any issues with them. Have you tried checking the bulbs in the dead section?

We've been trying to introduce Santa to my 2 year old, but he is having none of it. He is so scared of him and starts to cry whenever we mention him.

 

[knight1fox3]

Im talking run of the mill indoor lights. Granted, I'm buying them at Walmart or Lowes, not Macys, but I still expect at least a couple of uses out of them before they croak.

I got my lights at Target and Walmart and haven't had any issues with them. Have you tried checking the bulbs in the dead section?

Were they the LED version? I got mine at Home Depot (outdoor), and later that year every other light started going out (meaning one LED was bad). So I found a website that sold the appropriate LEDs I could use to replace the dead ones. The frequency of failure increased as time went on and I got real tired of checking for the failed bulbs and replacing accordingly. To the point where I don't even have the desire to put any lights up outside. Perhaps the Target/Walmart variety are better but I am skeptical.

 

[csb]

Im talking run of the mill indoor lights. Granted, I'm buying them at Walmart or Lowes, not Macys, but I still expect at least a couple of uses out of them before they croak.

I got my lights at Target and Walmart and haven't had any issues with them. Have you tried checking the bulbs in the dead section?

We've been trying to introduce Santa to my 2 year old, but he is having none of it. He is so scared of him and starts to cry whenever we mention him.

At about that age, my son truly believed, of his own designs, that Jesus brought the presents and wanted nothing to do with Santa. He felt Santa was some kind of middle manager.

Im talking run of the mill indoor lights. Granted, I'm buying them at Walmart or Lowes, not Macys, but I still expect at least a couple of uses out of them before they croak.

I got my lights at Target and Walmart and haven't had any issues with them. Have you tried checking the bulbs in the dead section?

Were they the LED version? I got mine at Home Depot (outdoor), and later that year every other light started going out (meaning one LED was bad). So I found a website that sold the appropriate LEDs I could use to replace the dead ones. The frequency of failure increased as time went on and I got real tired of checking for the failed bulbs and replacing accordingly. To the point where I don't even have the desire to put any lights up outside. Perhaps the Target/Walmart variety are better but I am skeptical.

Our LEDs came from K-Mart four years ago and are still trucking. We hang them outside and they have been exposed to subzero temps.