Sometimes you just need to scream!!!

[Chucktown PE]

I cut down my tree this weekend after having asked permission and received it. I got a little crazy with the chainsaw and cut down one extra gum in my back yard as well as limbed up some of the other trees. I have a pile of yard debris the size of a suburban on my curb, I really hope the city will take it all. Now the dumbass at the HOA wants me to replace it with a 2.5" tree. I already have more trees in my yard than 99% of the homeowners in my community. In addition I have a 100 year old live oak which is classified as a "grand tree" meaning under no circumstances can I ever cut it down, which I'm happy with because I love the tree, it's part of the reason I bought the house. I think I'm going to tell the idiot at the HOA that the 2.5" Japanese maple that has been in the ground for a few years is the one I planted.

 

[cdcengineer]

Made the granite guys replace the counter. They finally did it over a week ago. They were pissed, but it had to be done. Luckily I reserved a replacement stone from the slab store at the time of the initial slab selection back in December. It took a while (3 freakin' months), but it's done as right as these a-holes are gonna get it.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

New policy: No $hitting on a coworker's desk.

Like they'll be able to ID the perp.

 

[pbrme]

^Just make sure you coverup the mole...

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

I definitely would not advertise the fact you had corn for dinner the night before either...

 

[Master slacker]

Or corn AND red velvet cake.

 

[MA_PE]

or peanuts

 

[engineergurl]

Or corn AND red velvet cake.

Yeah..that would be a tell

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

What you need to go is go the local greasy buffet - eat as assortment of items with the worst aftermath - fried chicken, broccoli, hot dogs, etc.

Head home, but swing by the liquor store and get a 6 pack of some bottom of the barrel swill beer you had in college - Natty Ice or PBR. Also go by the pharmacy and get some laxative. Alternate drinking the laxative and the beer.

Your boss' office will look like a septic tank exploded in it.

 

[Master slacker]

I get that way just by eating WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much jalepeno or cayenne pepper.

 

[Master slacker]

HFS. I am in the longest, most boringest meeting that is scheduled to last the remainder of the day. All it is is about all these new processes and policies to roll out on top of our existing ones.

Person 1) "Are we going to get more resources to perform this work?"

Boss man) "Nope. We just need to wear another hat."

Person 2) "Really?"

Boss man) "Yeah. Adding to the head count isn't value added."

:huh:

 

[envirotex]

^^^engineerjobs.com

 

[cdcengineer]

Middle management's job is to set unrealistic goals which the average worker cannot meet. They know you'll beat what they actually expect and therefore the project and budget wins. However, because you don't meet the carrot-on-the-stick deadline they lord that over when it comes time for you to ask for a raise. They win again.

F'it

 

[MA_PE]

You did not just call Pabst Blue Ribbon (the pride of Milwaukee) "bottom of the barrel swill beer "...did you?

 

[Master slacker]

^^^engineerjobs.com

h34r:

 

[pbrme]

You did not just call Pabst Blue Ribbon (the pride of Milwaukee) "bottom of the barrel swill beer "...did you?

He's obviously high on the pot.

"IT tastes NOTHING... you Hoser... like Natty Ice"

 

[cdcengineer]

They're alllll gonnnnnnnnnnnnna laugh at youuuuuuuuuuuuuu -------- Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[Capt Worley PE]

You did not just call Pabst Blue Ribbon (the pride of Milwaukee) "bottom of the barrel swill beer "...did you?

I know! I was going to blame it on him being a damn yankee and just couldn't understand, but I see that you, fine sir, fully comprehend the glorious goodness that is PBR.

 

[envirotex]

Lone Star or Pearl...plus, if you drink Lone Star in bottles, they have those fun word games under the cap...the more you drink, the easier they get.

 

[Master slacker]

Lone Star... uke: x infinity