Obama Jokes

[DVINNY]

so outta fairness

 

[DVINNY]

But the top one is offensive, the bottom two are funny.

go figure.

 

[Casey]

Barack Obama has put out an ad that simple minded John McCain cannot use a computer.

Is this the one?

 

[DVINNY]

^^^ oh dear.

charley everywhere!!! bravo delta niner

 

[FLBuff PE]

although the Obama supporters call this racist ^^^, I can't help it. I think its funny.

Cause if they make a political cartoon charachter of Obama, it would look just like Curious George.

To let you know that I play fair, I laughed out loud at this.

 

[Dleg]

I think it's funny, too. And I can see how that could cuse a knee-jerk "racism!" reaction. Which is too bad, because it is pretty accurate in many other ways.

 

[Casey]

Did the republicans ban this picture? Because it obviously shows that if you vote Democrat (i.e. Obama) you will get more bananas. And we just can't have that.

 

[roadwreck]

awe son of a bitch! Yea the Curious George/Obama thing may be funny, but if you happen to be sitting at your desk scrolling down this page as someone of African American decent walks into your office right as you scroll past that picture you kind of get a dirty look. Thanks guys. If nobody hears from me for the rest of the afternoon it's b/c I've been dragged off by the human resources department and lashed with a bamboo cane.

 

[Dleg]

^^ :lmao:

(sorry!)

 

[DVINNY]

Did the republicans ban this picture? Because it obviously shows that if you vote Democrat (i.e. Obama) you will get more bananas. And we just can't have that.

well, actually Bananas stand for the amount of taxes to be taken from you. :smileyballs:

 

[Dleg]

I'm not sure if this belongs unde Obama jokes or McCain jokes, so I'll just post it in here:

From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada –
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

"Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. 'I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.

"In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. 'Not real effective,' he said. 'The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk.'

"Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. 'A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,' an Ontario border patrolman said. 'I found one carload without a drop of drinking water.' They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.'

"When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.

"In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. 'If they can't identify the accordion player on TheLawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,' an official said.

"Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. 'I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them,' an Ottawa resident said. 'How many art history and English majors does one country need?"

 

[DVINNY]

^^^ That is great.

I think it equally bashes both sides. It makes the conservatives sound like a bunch of gun-totin' amish, and the liberals like a bunch of ****-sissies.......

well.....

LOL

 

[mudpuppy]

One I heard at work the other day:

If he is elected it would be an Obama-nation.

 

[DVINNY]

I figured I'd put this in Obama jokes since it was said by his JOKE pick of a VP

"It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy." -- Joe Biden

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Isn't EVERY crisis generated in one form or another?

 

[Road Guy]

I did a test of share the wealth…..

Yesterday on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read “Vote Obama, I need the money.” I laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a “Obama 08″ tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference–just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need–the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I’ve decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved the money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.

 

[Supe]

I did a test of share the wealth…..
Yesterday on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read “Vote Obama, I need the money.” I laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a “Obama 08″ tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference–just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need–the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I’ve decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved the money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.

This has got to be one of the single greatest things I have ever read on the internet. I applaud you, sir.

 

[DVINNY]

Except at least 10 of my buddies have emailed me this week with the exact same story as RoadGuy's. LOL.

Still great though.

 

[Chucktown PE]

I'll do you one better. Just print these little cards up and leave them as tips. I did it on Friday, Monday, and will do it again today. The only catch is that you have to give someone the money. So I have been giving it to the guy who plays the saxaphone outside my office window.

I have to give credit to Neal Boortz for this. I got it off of his blog.

 

[Road Guy]

yes I should have inferred that I copied and pasted that from an email