Corrupt a Wish!

[Ble_PE]

Granted, but so did your entire bank account and savings.

I wish I could just pay off my house.

 

[Supe]

Granted. The new buyer covered everything after the bank auctioned it off.

I wish I could get some top notch antibiotics from the doc in a few minutes.

 

[Master slacker]

Granted, but it was Dr. Feelgood. You got all kinds of good stuff, but you were instructed to take all of them at once. When you did so, Dr. Feelgood and his skank-*** nurses came into your house after you willingly let them in and sexed you out of your mind. Oh, they didn't mention to you that they are carriers of every STD known to mankind and even several that are too heinous to even be acknowledged by the medical community. You spend the rest of your blistered existence in an itchy fit with crotch rot. And MYAF kicks you in the ding-ding.

I wish life at 31 were as simple and care free as life at 8.

 

[Paul S]

Granted, but now you are eight years old again and know everything you already know. You have to go to school again. And unfortunately your life expectancy will be 31 years shorter.

I wish that eating tons of garlic did not make me smell like a huge garlic.

 

[Master slacker]

Granted. It just makes you a huge garlic that smells like BO.

I wish I had a million wishes.

 

[Supe]

Granted. Unfortunately, there's the caveat that you can only wish for syndicated episodes of "Small Wonder."

I wish I got more than 3 hours sleep last night.

 

[Ble_PE]

Granted, you are now in a coma.

I wish I had more coffee!

 

[Master slacker]

Granted. You have just been put in the sorting piles with all of the coffee beans to be ground, roasted, and shipped to your home town. Your body, cut into a millions pieces, is now in countless Folgers coffee cans. Enjoy your stay.

I wish today goes by quickly so I can enjoy my 3 day weekend.

 

[Inigo Montoya]

Granted, your office is raided by the Dread Pirate Roberts and you are taken captive on his ship where he will most likely kill you in the morning.

I wish I could find the six fingerd man.

 

[Dexman PE]

Granted. You find the 6 fingered man, but you realize he's the wrong one and is only wearing a prostetic...

I wish I could go to Vegas sooner.

 

[JavaJim]

...I wish I could go to Vegas sooner.

Congratulations! You are now in Lost Wages.



I wish I could get a promotion.

 

[Supe]

...I wish I could go to Vegas sooner.

Congratulations! You are now in Lost Wages.

View attachment 3340

I wish I could get a promotion.

Congrats. You are promoted to chief office sanitation engineer.

I wish I had a breath mint after lunch.

 

[Master slacker]

Granted. The candy man unloaded in your mouth.

I wish the stray cats in my neighborhood would just die off already.

 

[Dexman PE]

Granted, now your house is full of dead stray cats.

I wish I would have some time off to recover.

 

[Master slacker]

Granted. Your boss is making you ride the pine for the rest of your career. Go get me a cafe latte, lackey!

I wish turbine blades could auto heal themselves.

 

[Supe]

Granted, they now can, but only the ones attached to your toilet.

I wish diet soda tasted like regular.

 

[ElCid03]

Granted but only Diet Nehi.

I wish my corvette did not have a blown relay.

 

[Dexman PE]

Granted. It now has a cracked block and a twisted frame.

I wish I could go out for beers now.

 

[Chucktown PE]

Granted. It now has a cracked block and a twisted frame.
I wish I could go out for beers now.

Granted, you'll be heading to Bob's Super Gay **** Beer Bar.

I wish I could be in my new house by Christmas.

 

[tcooper]

I wish I could be in my new house by Christmas.

Granted - But unfortunately, your builder cut a few corners to stay in budget:



I wish I could go on vacation to the mountains this summer.