Bad advice to previous poster

[NJmike PE]

put it down as a snow day. I'm sure it's snowing somewhere in the world today.

How do I tell my wife that I can't take her to the hospital when she goes into labor, because I have a deadline?

 

[snickerd3]

leave a note on the kitchen table saying you are at the office and wish her luck.

How should we wish our boss farewell at the end of the month?

 

[NJmike PE]

middle finger salute.

how do I tell my wife on Christmas that she didn't get anything because I needed an Xbox One?

 

[Ship Wreck PE]

Tell her you spent her Christmas present money on your PE celebration present.

The guys at work want to take me to hooters to celebrate me passing PE. Should we invite ladies at the office?

 

[NJmike PE]

only if they are hot.

How do I tell my wife that my office's Christmas party is no spouses this year, even if it is?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Shedule it for the same day she goes into labor.

How do I convince the contractor that this change order isn't worth my time to write?

 

[Jdsmith PE]

Send him a bill for your time.

What do you say to your boss when you are quitting?

 

[TESTY]

I'm suing you for making me work.

What should I do at the company xmas party to get fired?

 

[envirotex]

Hookers and blow.

How can I get an extra day of work in before my meeting on Thursday?

 

[NJmike PE]

double bill your time.

how do I convince my boss that I need a company car and company credit card?

 

[knight1fox3]

Apply for both in your bosses name. Tell him a few months from now.

How do I get out of a site visit tomorrow?

 

[GfunkyCivil]

Slash all the tires on the company vehicle.

How do I tell my manager to stop asking me if I passed the PE?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Pass the PE and then flex your PE-ness in his face.

How do I convince the office admin that it is, in fact, her job to make sure the coffee service order includes sugar?

 

[NJmike PE]

throw the empty boxes at her and yell, "do your damn job!"

How do I tell my boss that those credit card charges at the bar were legit?

 

[Jdsmith PE]

Show him the police report...

How should I pass the time while waiting for my License number?

 

[NJmike PE]

hookers and blow

How do I explain the hookers and blow to my wife?

 

[Jdsmith PE]

Play a game of Pictionary

Anything special I should bring on vacation this holiday season?

 

[Ble_PE]

Blow up doll, cucumbers and vaseline.

Should I leave work early?

 

[Jdsmith PE]

No, stay late... Hookers and Blow on the bosses credit card.

How do I get the building's maintenance people to repond faster?

 

[matt267 PE]

Tell them you have free hookers and blow.

What color should I paint my bedroom?