Bad advice to previous poster

[Jdsmith PE]

Yes, a blonde one, with big knockers!

How do I keep my OCD in check?

 

[matt267 PE]

Keep washing your hand.

Is the steak done?

 

[TESTY]

It's perfect. Give it to me.

Should I buy the remote control fart noise maker for my father in law?

 

[Jdsmith PE]

Yes, and wire it to his door bell for him.

My Mrs. called to tell me that she couldn't remember what she was supposed to do today...

...if I should happen think of it, I should call her and let her know.

What should I tell her?

 

[Master slacker]

Buy a strap-on and Vaseline.

When should I stop drinking coffee on any given day?

 

[matt267 PE]

Right before bed

Is it too late in the year to start a garden?

 

[NJmike PE]

Not at all. Plant snow peas.

How do I tell my daughter that her brother is smarter than she is?

 

[knight1fox3]

Enroll both of them in a non-refundable college calculus course and see who does better.

How can I graduate from my MS program faster?

 

[Master slacker]

To close out your MS program, click the red box with an "X" in it in the upper right hand corner.

What can I do to see the sun for once today?

 

[Jdsmith PE]

Take a trip to North Korea.

How do I tell my wife that her friends are fake?

 

[Ship Wreck PE]

Rip off their shirts

How can I get my wife to remodel kitchen by herself?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Give her all of your credit cards.

How do I get my dog to stop escaping his kennel and crapping all over the garage at night?

 

[Ship Wreck PE]

Feed him lots of cheese

How can I get my health insurance cheaper

 

[knight1fox3]

Give them a call and make a few death threats.

I just finished my final term project. How should I celebrate considering I have to work tomorrow?

 

[matt267 PE]

Turn your office building into a bonfire.

How do I complete this project before the end of the year?

 

[Wesson9]

Change the calendar on your computer to January 1, 2013.

How do I avoid DC traffic?

 

[NJmike PE]

Drive the shoulder.

How do I demand a raise at work?

 

[Wesson9]

With as much fire power as possible.

How do I stay safe at this construction site?

 

[Jdsmith PE]

Tell everyone to take the rest of the year off, on your bosses expense account.

How do I get my wife to stop nagging me first thing in the morning?

 

[Dark Knight]

Wake her up in the middle of the night, around 3:30AM. That should do the trick.

Should I leave and charge this day to Vacation? Really not in the mood for work.