Bad advice to previous poster

[P-E]

You're obviously on a business trip or have been kicked out by your wife.  This is no time to be a gentleman.  I suggest you run up and down the halls in just a Viking's jersey smashing the empties on the walls.   Don't forget to piss in the pool.

What should I get dad for Father's Day?

 

[NJmike PE]

You're obviously on a business trip or have been kicked out by your wife.  This is no time to be a gentleman.  I suggest you run up and down the halls in just a Viking's jersey smashing the empties on the walls.   Don't forget to piss in the pool.

What should I get dad for Father's Day?

A hooker to have a 3some with mrs P-E.

The bosses are all out of the office this afternoon. how should I spend my time?

 

[knight1fox3]

Derp!  Mattress jousting of course!!!

I can't seem to find enough time to keep up with the landscaping in my yard.  Any suggestions?

 

[einatlanta PhD PE]

Concrete time!  I hear there are a few civil engineers here to give advice.

So my company wants to take me to dinner because of the PE but half of them I don't like anyway and do not want to spend an evening with. How do I tell them giving me money is better than a free dinner?

 

[knight1fox3]

Just treat yourself to some high-priced gifts and a nice dinner on the old corporate credit card.  They'll get the idea.

How do I get out of going to work tomorrow?

 

[matt267 PE]

Tomorrow is Sunday so you're good. But if you set fire to the building, you might get Monday off too.

Should I clean my gutters before winter?

 

[NJmike PE]

Nah. Just pull them off the house.

Mrs NJ is away for the weekend and I get the kids. Do they really need to eat 3x a day?

 

[tj_PE]

I think you just have to water them once a week. Do I need to clean before my family visits?

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

 

[matt267 PE]

Nope. You should leave all the drug paraphernalia out in the open and displayed proudly.

Where should I eat this morning?

 

[NJmike PE]

Take family out for legs n eggs.

Should I do any yard work today?

 

[matt267 PE]

Nope, make the kids do it. I don't care how young they are. There is not free lunch.

Should I buy a chromebook?

 

[knight1fox3]

Yes. Used from Craigslist. And with as little memory as possible.

How do we make weekends longer?

 

[Supe]

Watch C-Span for all 48 hours.  Those weekends will feel like an eternity!

Stomach still churning this morning.  What to do?

 

[thekzieg]

Eat a couple dozen hotwings to reset the whole system.

Should I decorate my co-workers cubicle while she's out on maternity leave?

 

[Supe]

Yes.  Cover it head to toe in visuals depicting extreme instances of postpartum depression to really brighten her return.

My coffee is cold, what should I do?

 

[matt267 PE]

Piss in it.

Should I buy a beer brewing kit?

 

[knight1fox3]

Yes, contact @NJmike PE, he makes kits out of his home. Particularly on "sick" days to include a few extra ingredients.

Having a difficult time with the Thanksgiving menu, suggestions?

 

[Supe]

Typical Thanksgiving fare with all the trimmings - its less about what you make, and more about the secret ingredient: lots and lots of Visine.

Have a 2:30 meeting where we're expected to "speak freely" but has some big wigs in it.  Hold back, or let the commentary fly?

 

[SE_FL]

My all means, speak freely. But be sure to be well prepared with charts and backup information with names and dates of everything. Big wigs hate to see presentations that are not well prepared.

My boss has missed every deadline this year on his projects, but now I'm going miss my first one due to this new hire (his choice) that screwed up the whole project. What should I do?

 

[Master slacker]

Be Milton for a day.

I haven't been sleeping well recently.  Does anyone have a good method of getting a good night's rest?