Bad advice to previous poster

[knight1fox3]

Give them a link to you MySpace account.

How can I get out of doing this homework assignment before spring break?

 

[P-E]

Drop out and spend the rest of the semester at senior frogs in Cancun.

How can I avoid paying taxes this year?

 

[knight1fox3]

What's funny is I've been to that S.Frogs, twice. I wouldn't recommend the slide into that gelatinous muck they call water though. LOL Good times.

Oh right, bad advice. Just do what Wesley Snipes did, ignore the IRS.

 

[Ken PE 3.1]

We can see you've been drinking too much in Cancun, you forgot what thread you're in.

How can I make this week go by faster?

 

[Supe]

Respond to that Craigslist ad about someone needing a partner for time travel. Seems legit.

This stupid destination wedding is costing me $2400 out of pocket. How can I offset that cost?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Get a bridesmaid drunk and steal her credit card after you sleep with her.

What's my best option for repairing a leaky back-flow preventer on my sprinkler system?

 

[P-E]

Duh, install a front-flow preventer upstream of it.

There's coyotes roaming in the woods behind my house. Should I tell this to my new neighbor who has an ankle biter dog?

 

[Supe]

No. It is best to let the coyote and ankle biter breed into a waist high ball biter.

Dragging ass this morning after a few sleepless nights. What can I do to wake up?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Meth. But only once.

Battery on my phone isn't holding a charge as well as it should. Get a new battery or get a new phone?

 

[Supe]

Put phone in microwave. No new battery or phone required.

Ate too many cough drops, sugar alcohol in them. Stomach is gurgling. How do I avoid the pending crisis?

 

[Ken PE 3.1]

3 cups penta-lax twice daily.

Got caught in the middle of a lively debate, how do I bow out nicely?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Fart loudly and proclaim it is the precursor to the 3 cups of penta-lax breakfast fun you're about to unleash on the toilet.

Receptionist is a bitch and ignores any requests for office supplies (basics like notepads and pens). Solutions on how to deal with her?

 

[Supe]

Place quarter-million dollar requisition with Office Depot. Sign her name as requisition initiator.

Thirsty, but vending machine sucks. What to do?

 

[TESTY]

So do babies, imagine yourself as 2 months old and go find the nearest nursing woman.

How do I get money from a cheapskate dad of a friend of my daughter who I take and pay for trips with daughter to amusement parks, the aquarium, movies etc.

 

[Supe]

Take her picture with a ransom note, hold daughter hostage.

Have cotton/dry mouth this morning. What can I do to alleviate this?

 

[knight1fox3]

This ought to do it...

How do I find the motivation to work on my final project for grad school?

 

[P-E]

This ought to do it.

Wife wants vegetarian take out. How do I talk her out of it ?

 

[Supe]

Tantalize her taste buds and dine-in instead of take out:

Hot as heck in the house with the AC busted again. What to do?

 

[P-E]

Easy. Take the door off the fridge, lay it down face up, throw away all the food and crawl in.

How do I ensure that my son never becomes a Yankees fan?

 

[Ken PE 3.1]

That's easy, dress him in full red sox memorabilia and take him to a home game.

Having dinner with the in-laws tonight, how can I get out of this?