Survivor

csb said:

Point taken back for what Star Wars did to this poor child:

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Life Sized Satanic Doll Serves As Masturbation Toy For America's YouthAction Alert!

When Mrs. Tawny Huxton opened her son Timmy's bedroom door, she was shocked to see his innocent white hiney nestled into the new 7ft Jar Jar Binks doll she had bought him for his birthday. Lately, many Americans have suffered similar incidents. Young children are being seduced by the character of George Lucas' latest Star Wars Movie. Jar Jar's soothing voice, and timid childlike manners, seem to lure young teens into a world of lustful abandon. Unsuspecting parents purchase the popular life-size doll, only to find out later that it is being used by the child as a masturbation toy.

Under the guise of family entertainment, Lucas' "Star Wars" prequel has contaminated America's youth with subliminal sexual innuendo. Pastor Ebeneezer Smith of the Landover Baptist Church commented, "The demonic characteristics of the Jar Jar binks creature become obvious when one pays close attention. His forked tongue, his lapping, his malignant features, are all too noticeable to the Christ centered man." Experts who have examined the life-sized doll that has become the favorite 'toy' of 12-14 year old children, say that the evidence is overwhelming. The doll was created for the sole purpose of masturbation. It has four openings, and three extrusions, making it compatible for male or female pleasure.

Members of The Landover Baptist Church are outraged at the Satanic subtlety in which marketing geniuses have moved this horrific abomination into the homes of America's youth. "One Mother was concerned that her young daughter was not interested in boys," a Pastor noted, "she asked her little girl, 'why don't you talk about the cute boys at school?' Her daughter replied, 'oh momma, nobody I know is cuter than Jar Jar Binks.' The mother was horrified."

Landover Baptist Church finds that the only way to resolve this problem is to ban not only life sized Jar Jar Binks dolls from American homes, but to ban any life sized doll. "Any child that has seen this movie is finding that their natural attraction to members of the opposite *** is being replaced with an attraction to a 7ft devil with elephant feet, a 25 inch tongue, polka dot skin, a fish snout, and two phallic eyes that jut out like hard erotic pokers. For the Love of God! If you've got this devil in your house, remove it as soon as possible!

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roadwreck said:

and this poor child

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roadwreck said:

Frodo lived in middle earth, best I can tell that isn't in California and thus not under the jurisdiction of prop. 8

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DVINNY said:

So you're saying Ghey marriage is legal in middle earth, and therefore Frodo got married?

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csb said:

Hmm...did somebody say...SATAN?

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roadwreck said:

I merely pointed out that prop 8 doesn't have any authority over Frodo.

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csb said:

Supe is part of the Ambiguously Gay Duo
Point for our team.

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DVINNY said:

^^^ You just pointed out one of the best uses for StormTroopers. And there's a zillion of them.

A ZILLION POINTS for Star Wars. Thanks.

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csb said:

Engineering logic- if landcruiser=AGD car and Supe is taking Exhibit A to work then Supe must be either Lance or Gary.
Point remains with original team.

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Chucktown PE said:

Point for LOTR because DV thinks it's okay to have butt *** with Storm Troopers.

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