Returned from a short vacation Tuesday to the letter in the mailbox. It was one and done for me.
While I really do feel for those who recieved two sheets of paper, that single sheet in my envelope still left a slightly sour taste in my mouth.
I liken it to working in a sausage factory for a year striving to make the best product possible in the worst of conditions only to find out at the end of the year that your sausage was "acceptable".
I put in my time at the sausage factory.
- I spent well over $1,500 in fees, materials, and coffee house "dinners".
- I probably studied as much for this exam as I did total of my college career.
- I tabbed every chapter color coded by section. I photocopied and tabbed the index. Hell, I highlighted every italicized term in the CERM!
- I sacrificed a solid month and half of my spring preparing for the exam. And yes, it was a sacrifice. Straight from work every night to study. Home at 10, do it again the next day. I took a break a month in one night to go dinner with my girlfriend. The change of pace was such a shock to my system I was babbling like a madman and devouring everything in sight.
- I spent that time on a form of life support provided by my girlfriend. Without her help, I'd surely have failed, starved, or simply lost my mind. I am in her debt and I am sure I will have to pay the piper when she begins work on her thesis.
I had fun taking the test. It didn't worry me. I wasn't anxious. I embraced the challenge. And Praise FSM, I PASSED!!!!
But I want to know how I did.
- If I only missed 2, I want to have it permanently attached to my refrigerator.
- If I only passed by 2, I want to dance a jig and pat my self on the back for printing that extra 500 page PDF at Kinko's and paying for overnight shipping on that last reference I ordered from Amazon. The single answer I got from each of those made all the difference.
- If I scored 2 better than my best friend, I want to hold it over their head every time they question my opinion.
- If conversely, I scored 2 less. I want to laugh as I point out that they used "c" for all their guesses while I used "b". That had to be the reason.
We engineers live in a land defined by numbers. We are hardwired for analysis.
PASS leaves me wanting.
Why can't we know?