How many Conservatives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Conservatives only screw poor people.
----------------
Question--why should you always take two Republicans fishing with you?
If you take only one, he'll smoke all your pot, but if you take two, they won't smoke any.
-----------------
A liberal says "My glass is half full."
A conservative says, "Who drank half my water?"
------------------
What's the difference between liberals and conservatives?
A liberal wins the lottery and throws a party.
A conservative wins the lottery and complains that he has to pay taxes on it.
------------------
How many conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They'll pass a law forcing school children to pray to God to take the dark away.
-------------------