October 2019 15k SPAM Thread

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

Morning, SPAMMERS!

Edit: Ooh! ToP! :bananalama:

 

[Will.I.Am PE]

I'm heading out into the field, SPAM crew. Keep it well-preserved while I'm out.

 

[RBHeadge PE]

I am dead

First name confirmed!

 

[RBHeadge PE]

I had to take OSHA 30, but it was government/VA-specific OSHA 30.  Which was possibly more painful than normal OSHA because there were more acronyms and the video quality was horrible.

Did it look like it was produced in the late 1980s/ early 1990s?

 

[RBHeadge PE]

So why is 15k posts the goal? Why not 10k? Why not 20k? 

The explanation best be described by a Jeff Bridges bit:

1. Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

2. As soon as the ape touches the stairs, spray all the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

3. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it even though no water sprays at them.

4. Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

5. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

6. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

7. After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

BECAUSE that's the way it's always been done around here.

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

I'm heading out into the field, SPAM crew. Keep it well-preserved while I'm out.

Will do, buddy. Be safe in the field, keep that swivel head going. 

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

I am dead

I am sorry.  I should have tried harder. Slept less.  I don't know.

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

Also, this spam thread is doing very nicely.  

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

First name confirmed!

Yes, I can recall my parents uttering the phrase, “you’re dead to me”

 

[RBHeadge PE]

I am sorry.  I should have tried harder. Slept less.  I don't know.

I need to sleep more. I'm really considering taking sick leave so I can just go home and crash. But I've got like 2.5 hours of work that must get done today.

 

[RBHeadge PE]

Also, this spam thread is doing very nicely.  

ikr, they might actually get their results on time this year. 

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

I need to sleep more. I'm really considering taking sick leave so I can just go home and crash. But I've got like 2.5 hours of work that must get done today.

Then get it done!  If it is anything like my workload, I have 2.5 hours of work that will take my self inflicted ADD self 4 hours to get done. I need to lay off the coffee and caffeine.

 

[RBHeadge PE]

Yes, I can recall my parents uttering the phrase, “you’re dead to me”

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

Yes, I can recall my parents uttering the phrase, “you’re dead to me”

I was going to do the laugh emoji, but that felt wrong. But so did the sad one.

 

[RBHeadge PE]

Then get it done!  If it is anything like my workload, I have 2.5 hours of work that will take my self inflicted ADD self 4 hours to get done. I need to lay off the coffee and caffeine.

Good idea, haven't had caffeine yet. Then I'll bang this shit out

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

Good idea, haven't had caffeine yet. Then I'll bang this shit out

And this is where I realize that shoul have said coffee and candy.  Obviously I am struggling today.

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

I was going to do the laugh emoji, but that felt wrong. But so did the sad one.

Fortunately, it isn't true and my first name is definitely not "dead".

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

Fortunately, it isn't true and my first name is definitely not "dead".

Whew.

 

[LyceeFruit PE]

Then get it done!  If it is anything like my workload, I have 2.5 hours of work that will take my self inflicted ADD self 4 hours to get done. I need to lay off the coffee and caffeine.

I need to dial my caffeine intake back down 

 

[txjennah PE]

Goooood morning spammers