I was drunk (continue the story)......

[Roarbark]

Super cute fuzzy animals. I think they're called

 

[chart94 PE]

lions. As long as i bring a 

 

[RBHeadge PE]

raw steak tied to my torso and $43.86 worth of...

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

Moonshine, which is my lover.

 

[RBHeadge PE]

We met at this really laid back...

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

recliner and drifted off into a beer induced coma.

 

[Road Guy]

waking up to find that our roof was now the floor

 

[RBHeadge PE]

and there was no ladder to get down. So instead I took off my shirt and

 

[SaltySteve PE]

slid down a conveniently placed pole.

 

[Roarbark]

As I descended to the ground (roof) floor, I suddenly felt the hot glare of a spotlight, and thought I heard

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

A fart.

 

[chart94 PE]

I was taken aback by this fart and wanted to 

 

[RBHeadge PE]

light a match and watch

 

[JHW 3d]

Hair sizzle. Where are my manners? I forgot to tell you about the hooker I picked up on the way here. Her claim to fame is...

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

...drinking whisky with a straw.

 

[Roarbark]

That part isn't really all that impressive, but what she does next sure is...

 

[RBHeadge PE]

juggle 9 ping pong balls and then

 

[Roarbark]

make them float in the air for 30 seconds using only her

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

shoelaces

 

[steel]

She becomes violently ill afterwards, though because