I GOT A DATE!!!
- Thread starter Fudgey
- Start date
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frecoder78
Very true! I concur with that statement!You know I hate to rain on the Fudgeman's paradebut if you are drinking so much that you **** the bed, you might want to take a big step backwards and look in the mirror. if you're almost 30 and blacking out, that's not right.
Fudgey
Master of Disaster
Yeah I washed the sheets the other day. They came out fine and I put them back on the bed. I don't do anything all that gross with my girlfriend around so I don't think she's grossed out. She doesn't even know about the sheets. Maybe I'll tell her one day and we'll laugh about it.
She's pretty down to earth and we've been hanging around long enough where I can let my hair down a little and not worry.
Oh and guess what! We made a *** bet on the NCAA basketball brackets. Haven't finalized details yet (Gotta look through my adult catalog first) but the championship night will definitely end in a happy ending more than just the champs if you catch my drift.
Fudgey
Master of Disaster
OK guys so I haven't barely seen any of my girl the past couple weeks because I have been studying a lot and stressed over the PE. The only time I saw her was to get some structures help!
What's something I can do this weekend to show her I haven't forgotten about her. She has been supportive of me taking the exam and I don't want her to think I'm taking her for granted. I need to come up with a good date. Something fun with a twist or surprise that will be fun.
The *** bet is still on just not for tonight. I gotta study so I cant even watch the game! I want to work that angle in to the weekend too. I lost the bet by the way.
What's something I can do this weekend to show her I haven't forgotten about her. She has been supportive of me taking the exam and I don't want her to think I'm taking her for granted. I need to come up with a good date. Something fun with a twist or surprise that will be fun.
The *** bet is still on just not for tonight. I gotta study so I cant even watch the game! I want to work that angle in to the weekend too. I lost the bet by the way.
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Chucktown PE
Well-known member
WHERE IS FUDGEY. Come on man, I know you are out in the field but we haven't had a good Fudgey post in some time now.
EM_PS
shining like a lighter...
**** the bed! this was an exclamation we used to use in college. . .
Didn't really figure to many folks between the ages of 5 to 75 ever suffered from that malady - Dude if you lose your faculties like that from a simple night of getting wicked-hammered, you might wanna lay off the firewater Geronimo . . .
Now humor us with more of your zany adventures, the exam didn't kill ya did it?
Didn't really figure to many folks between the ages of 5 to 75 ever suffered from that malady - Dude if you lose your faculties like that from a simple night of getting wicked-hammered, you might wanna lay off the firewater Geronimo . . .
Now humor us with more of your zany adventures, the exam didn't kill ya did it?
RIP - VTEnviro
His Memory Eternal
I haven't seen Fudgey around here since nobody responded to 3-4 of his new threads in a row
G
Guest
Come back fudgey !!! I am going to need some practical advice since the landscape of the dating world is vasty different from when I exited over a decade ago! ! :true:
JR
JR
G
Guest
Hmmm ....
While the AC Slatering incident was certainly unconventional, it certainly hasn't hurt his dating prospects or outlook. B) I am definitely open to some advice from the fudgemaster even if it perhaps means taking a less conventional approach to dating! :eyebrows:
JR
I think a lot of girls are just looking for someone out of the ordinary. I mean, any girl can go out and get a generic 20-30-something professional boyfriend who likes cars, sports, and beer. Yawn.
But you get caught AC Slatering by her Mom, and suddenly, you stand out from the crowd. That uniqueness signals "I've got something special in me" to a prospective mate, who's become bored from several years of the same old thing.
But you get caught AC Slatering by her Mom, and suddenly, you stand out from the crowd. That uniqueness signals "I've got something special in me" to a prospective mate, who's become bored from several years of the same old thing.
G
Guest
Dark Knight
Silent Guardian
On the other hand a Fudgey's Guide To Dating has to be a classic best seller.
I would have to have a tank of oxygen before reading any part of his bok because if not I will sufocate. The Fudgemaster is capable to make a grown man cry out of laughter. :bawling:
If you are reading this Fudgemaster... :bio:
I would have to have a tank of oxygen before reading any part of his bok because if not I will sufocate. The Fudgemaster is capable to make a grown man cry out of laughter. :bawling:
If you are reading this Fudgemaster... :bio:
RIP - VTEnviro
His Memory Eternal
I think if you got caught AC Slatering you would have just gotten rid of that 'something special' that was inside of you.
squishles10
CEO
RIP - VTEnviro
His Memory Eternal
^ et tu, Squishles?
squishles10
CEO
ODB_PE
I'm not an engineer, but I play one at work
Furthering the stereotype that engineers are not well read...
From wikipedia:
"Et tu, Brute?" ("You too, Brutus?", or "And you, Brutus?" or "Even you, Brutus?) is a Latin phrase often used poetically to represent the last words of Julius Caesar. The quotation is widely used in Western culture as an epitome of betrayal.
Fudgey
Master of Disaster
This is a simple story of pleasure, pain, and relief. It occurred just a couple weeks ago, and I'm finding the memory of it hard to escape from.
It was a Friday evening, same as many other Friday evenings. I was at home watching some TV with my girlfriend and a few friends. It was going to be a low key sort of night. Several beers had been drunk and it was getting late, so we were in a state of extreme hunger. But we lacked the will to move. After much persuasion, I managed to find the energy to walk over to the bookshelf and bring over the pile of takeout menus. Not a monumental task, with the menus only being five steps away; but at that moment, it sure felt monumental.
We seem to get one or two menus in the mailbox every day, so we had a great variety to choose from. We decided on pizza with a few sides and ordered from a place we'd frequented quite a few times before, having always been impressed with the quality and price. Our order: a pizza topped with spicy chicken, pepperoni, and spicy sausage, a twelve-inch garlic bread with cheese, and an order of hot wings. Naturally, we wanted it delivered.
Fast forrwarding a half an hour, the doorbell rang. Do you know that instant burst of energy you get, whatever condition you're in, when hot, tasty food has just arrived at your doorstep? I rushed to the door with some cash, hurriedly paid the delivery guy, and made my way back to the living room with a feast for my friends and me. The food tasted good. I'm a fan of spicy foods, as you may have guessed from the toppings, and the chicken wings and spicy meats on the pizza didn't disappoint. I did notice a slight tanginess to some of the chicken on the pizza, but being in the condition I was in, it didn't stop me from polishing off several slices, along with wings, garlic bread, and a few more beers.
The night drew on, and my girlfriend and I headed off to bed, while our friends crashed on the couch or the floor; wherever they could find, really. I was pretty beat and began drifting as soon as my head hit the pillow, despite several minutes of attempts by my girlfriend to get some attention from me. I was not in the proper state to perform any duties, so I continued ignoring her and fell fast asleep.
I awoke at around four AM. Everything happened so fast, but I can remember it in slow motion. At first, I didn't know what was wrong with me. Still intoxicated, I rolled over a few times. I could tell something was very wrong. My stomach felt bloated and was bubbling and gurgling. And at that point, it hit me. I knew I had very little time. I leapt out of bed and sprinted for the toilet.
The second my buns hit the rim, it happened. Gas exited my behind at high velocity while jets of burning hot liquid turd simultaneously spattered out of my rear. I was in agony, and the smell was enough to make me cover my nostrils and hold my breath. It reminded me of the chicken coop this bird had obviously come from. After the gas had burned itself out, I was still left with hot liquid spitting and dribbling from behind.
Half asleep and in a semi-dream state, I sat in a stinking room with lava dripping from my unlucky No. 2 hole. I remember breaking out in a hot sweat, my brow and top lip dripping onto the floor as I sat on the toilet for half an hour, drifting in and out of consciousness.
As the time passed, I began to recover. The fountain of fetid excrement stopped weeping, and my bum and stomach felt such sweet relief. I had woken up a little now and felt so much better. I used copious amounts of loo roll to wipe the mess from my behind. Trouble was, it wasn't enough, there was a bigger mess than I thought.
4:45 AM found me naked with a showerhead directed at my ***, washing away in a fury. This was turning into a long night. After washing and drying off, I headed back to bed, climbed in next to my girl, and fell back to sleep.
Eight o'clock in the morning: a piercing scream of disgust. I awoke and realized what I had done, and what I had forgotten to do after. I quickly threw on some clothes and headed to the site of last night's eruption. One of our female friends, stood at the door with a look on her face that said it all.
I entered the room and the smell hit me. I looked into the bowl to see nothing but brown. The spattered jets of foul fowl had sprayed the entire bowl with brown goo; the water was brown, with small brown lumps bobbing up and down.
I hung my head in shame, opened the window, flushed the thing, and left the room. Needless to say, that particular menu was disposed of. And I doubt I'll ever have spicy chicken on a pizza again.
It was a Friday evening, same as many other Friday evenings. I was at home watching some TV with my girlfriend and a few friends. It was going to be a low key sort of night. Several beers had been drunk and it was getting late, so we were in a state of extreme hunger. But we lacked the will to move. After much persuasion, I managed to find the energy to walk over to the bookshelf and bring over the pile of takeout menus. Not a monumental task, with the menus only being five steps away; but at that moment, it sure felt monumental.
We seem to get one or two menus in the mailbox every day, so we had a great variety to choose from. We decided on pizza with a few sides and ordered from a place we'd frequented quite a few times before, having always been impressed with the quality and price. Our order: a pizza topped with spicy chicken, pepperoni, and spicy sausage, a twelve-inch garlic bread with cheese, and an order of hot wings. Naturally, we wanted it delivered.
Fast forrwarding a half an hour, the doorbell rang. Do you know that instant burst of energy you get, whatever condition you're in, when hot, tasty food has just arrived at your doorstep? I rushed to the door with some cash, hurriedly paid the delivery guy, and made my way back to the living room with a feast for my friends and me. The food tasted good. I'm a fan of spicy foods, as you may have guessed from the toppings, and the chicken wings and spicy meats on the pizza didn't disappoint. I did notice a slight tanginess to some of the chicken on the pizza, but being in the condition I was in, it didn't stop me from polishing off several slices, along with wings, garlic bread, and a few more beers.
The night drew on, and my girlfriend and I headed off to bed, while our friends crashed on the couch or the floor; wherever they could find, really. I was pretty beat and began drifting as soon as my head hit the pillow, despite several minutes of attempts by my girlfriend to get some attention from me. I was not in the proper state to perform any duties, so I continued ignoring her and fell fast asleep.
I awoke at around four AM. Everything happened so fast, but I can remember it in slow motion. At first, I didn't know what was wrong with me. Still intoxicated, I rolled over a few times. I could tell something was very wrong. My stomach felt bloated and was bubbling and gurgling. And at that point, it hit me. I knew I had very little time. I leapt out of bed and sprinted for the toilet.
The second my buns hit the rim, it happened. Gas exited my behind at high velocity while jets of burning hot liquid turd simultaneously spattered out of my rear. I was in agony, and the smell was enough to make me cover my nostrils and hold my breath. It reminded me of the chicken coop this bird had obviously come from. After the gas had burned itself out, I was still left with hot liquid spitting and dribbling from behind.
Half asleep and in a semi-dream state, I sat in a stinking room with lava dripping from my unlucky No. 2 hole. I remember breaking out in a hot sweat, my brow and top lip dripping onto the floor as I sat on the toilet for half an hour, drifting in and out of consciousness.
As the time passed, I began to recover. The fountain of fetid excrement stopped weeping, and my bum and stomach felt such sweet relief. I had woken up a little now and felt so much better. I used copious amounts of loo roll to wipe the mess from my behind. Trouble was, it wasn't enough, there was a bigger mess than I thought.
4:45 AM found me naked with a showerhead directed at my ***, washing away in a fury. This was turning into a long night. After washing and drying off, I headed back to bed, climbed in next to my girl, and fell back to sleep.
Eight o'clock in the morning: a piercing scream of disgust. I awoke and realized what I had done, and what I had forgotten to do after. I quickly threw on some clothes and headed to the site of last night's eruption. One of our female friends, stood at the door with a look on her face that said it all.
I entered the room and the smell hit me. I looked into the bowl to see nothing but brown. The spattered jets of foul fowl had sprayed the entire bowl with brown goo; the water was brown, with small brown lumps bobbing up and down.
I hung my head in shame, opened the window, flushed the thing, and left the room. Needless to say, that particular menu was disposed of. And I doubt I'll ever have spicy chicken on a pizza again.
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