Expecting

[csb]

Oh good golly...when my son would teethe his little body would fall apart. His second Christmas he went through at least five pairs of pajamas, because if the stuff wasn't coming out of the top end it was coming out of the bottom end. The poor little guy was so sick that he would wake up, try to eat, explode liquid hell from both ends, and then go to sleep. We opened presents in shifts, while pumping him full of pedialyte. Plus he was just a little over turning one year old so we had no verbal warning...we'd just see the look on his face and then try to dangle him over something easy to clean. Plenty of times we just caught puke in our hands. I think that's when you know you're a parent...when you're just holding warm puke in your hands.

Good morning everybody! How's breakfast?

 

[mizzoueng]

Wow, and thats what I have to look forward to.

Carson hasn't done anything too bad yet, but he has pissed and pooped on me at least 6-7 times. Its hard to get mad when he does it as he gets that shitty grin afterwards, but then it looks like a poured a glass or water on me and then spread some grey poupon

 

[chaosiscash]

Keep these stories coming. I'm putting them in my "talk my wife out of having kids" file.

 

[DVINNY]

I'm about to do it all over again, with the 3rd one on its way.

My son started Pre-School today.

The first thing the teacher asked him to do was wear a necklace of yarn with a CareBear name tag hanging from it.

He said "I'm not wearing that",

she said "It has your name on it",

he said "I know my name, my name is Brock, and I'm not wearing that"

My wife was still there to drop him off, she called me and said "we have some work to do with him still".

 

[maryannette]

Despite the vomit, urine, and excrement episodes, this is still the scariest thing about being a parent:

Parents are the ones who explain sex to the kids. That is when I realized it was not all fun and games. You have to explain something that you are in favor of and make it sound clinical and boring.

 

[TXengrChickPE]

My daughter occasionally gets car sick. When she was almost 2, we were driving to the in-laws for a holiday, and it was about 15 degrees outside and snowing. She started puking... we were on the PA turnpike, about 20 miles away from the nearest pit stop. The smell was horrible, but we couldn't open the windows because she was soaking wet in her own vomit. We finally got to the pit stop and it was PACKED. No available parking, so we ended up on the side of the road almost a half mile past the building. I carried her, trying to keep her warm, without getting covered in vomit myself while hubby stayed at the car and tried to clean off the car seat and get the worst of it off the floor. We finally get to the building and the line for the bathroom has about 100 people in it. I tried to just walk in to use the changing table and found my way blocked by a bunch of BIG MOMMAS! I tried to explain that I was only trying to get in to use the changing table, but they just kept pointing and saying "The end of the line is over there!". I finally saw a table open up in the Burger King section and grabbed it. I put her on the table and stripped her down except for a diaper and used baby wipes to get her cleaned up.

I finally got her in clean clothes and back to the car. We drove the last 2.5hrs to MIL's house alternating between opening the windows so we could breathe and closing them so we wouldn't freeze.

 

[cement]

Ktulu, what a beautiful baby! Quick, someone tell a horror story about a diaper blowout or a kid who insists on waking up for the day at 4 AM.

still worth it.

 

[Chucktown PE]

I am kind of new to this thread. I posted a while back . I now have two kids (2-1/2 and 8 months). Horror stories, horror stories.......where to begin? If you are wanting gross stuff here is a good one.

When our oldest was about 14 months last summer we were living out in Kansas City because my company temporarily relocated us for about 4 months. We (my wife, my son, and I) were driving around exploring the city as it was one of our first weekends out there. As we were approaching the art museum we noticed a funky smell coming from the back seat. Since we were only 10 minutes from home I said we should just wait to change the diaper. As we got closer and closer to the art museum the smell was getting increasingly worse until finally my wife turned around and said “Oh my gosh it’s shit!!!!!” I turned around and sure enough, the little guy had blown out the diaper and had it all over his hands, the carseat, and was beginning to rub it in his hair. I, being and engineer, was trying to find a solution to the problem while driving so with one hand I was trying to keep him from rubbing any more fecal matter on the carseat or himself, and I was using the other hand to drive. Here is where the art museum comes into play. At that point we were in front of the museum which happened to be having a big reception of some sort on that particular day. I pulled into the front plaza/drop off area and immediately removed my son who was covered in fecal matter from the car. As you can guess, the hoity toity artsy folk gave me some strange looks as I was changing his diaper and my wife was cleaning the shit out of our car. The pit stop/cleaning detail lasted for about 10 minutes. We immediately made a run for home and scrubbed the little guy down. I have never witnessed a diaper failure like that before but it was as if none of the pooh was actually contained by the diaper.

I have plenty more disgusting stories but I always laugh my ass off about them now. I would say the worst thing for me is the lack of sleep. Our daughter had reflux really bad for the first 6 weeks and we didn’t know it. She took about an hour to feed and then would spit up over the course of the next hour, dirtying about 4 pairs of pajamas. At that point we only got an hour of sleep before the next cycle began. Luckily that didn’t last long. By 10 weeks both of ours were sleeping through the night at 8 hour clips. It seems bad while you are dealing with it but now it doesn't seem like that stuff even happened.

They are sooooooo much fun though. It's all good stuff and I wouldn't want to talk anyone out of it. It's the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

[snickerd3]

I'm about to do it all over again, with the 3rd one on its way.

My son started Pre-School today.

The first thing the teacher asked him to do was wear a necklace of yarn with a CareBear name tag hanging from it.

He said "I'm not wearing that",

she said "It has your name on it",

he said "I know my name, my name is Brock, and I'm not wearing that"

My wife was still there to drop him off, she called me and said "we have some work to do with him still".

Was it because it was a carebear nametag, or just the fact that he had to wear a name tag

 

[DVINNY]

I'm not sure, but when picked up, we were told that he was absolutely the best behaved kid in the class. The teacher gave him a cookie, and he was the only one to get one on the first day.

So I guess I can forgive the name tag thing.

 

[maryannette]

I think I saw a proud daddy!

 

[Dark Knight]

I am seriously lagging. Just read this.

Congrats Mizzou and DV. :multiplespotting:

By the way DV, welcome to the 3K club(3 kids..I meant)

 

[bigray76]

Oh good golly...when my son would teethe his little body would fall apart. His second Christmas he went through at least five pairs of pajamas, because if the stuff wasn't coming out of the top end it was coming out of the bottom end. The poor little guy was so sick that he would wake up, try to eat, explode liquid hell from both ends, and then go to sleep. We opened presents in shifts, while pumping him full of pedialyte. Plus he was just a little over turning one year old so we had no verbal warning...we'd just see the look on his face and then try to dangle him over something easy to clean. Plenty of times we just caught puke in our hands. I think that's when you know you're a parent...when you're just holding warm puke in your hands.
Good morning everybody! How's breakfast?

You know you are a parent when you can wipe the spit-up off of you kids face and go right back to eating a sandwich with the same hands.

 

[ktulu]

Mackenzie LOVES this!!! And it sure beats the limted space of a pack-n-play. Just wanted to share. It's simply a 9-foot blow up pool.

 

[csb]

We had the kiddie corral, but I must applaud your creativity on this one!

 

[Guest]

Very nice!!! lusone:

JR

 

[SSmith]

Sorry. Proud daddy moment and wanted to share some pics...

 

[FLBuff PE]

^^^You NEVER need to apologize for posting pictures of your best design-build 'projects'. "Dad, what's that bright light you're pointing at me?"

 

[Enginnneeer]

^^^ I second. Great pics Daddy SSmith. and that toy seems to be the favorite with a lot of the wee ones. Must be the grip texture, lightweight, and the noisemaking ability....

 

[Dleg]

"best design-build project". LOL! My kids' school pictures are still the only thing I've stamped.

Horror stories - if you don't have kids yet, don't take these the wrong way. Once you are in the thick of it, you just take stuff like that in stride. Trust me. You parenting instincts will kick in, and there won't be anything that will stop you from loving your cute little guys.