EB Mafia

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

It's not murder, it's DiGiorno.

 

[Booo]

Its not murder, it's a lottery.

Pretty much. I am glad ppl stopped using that randomizer 

 

[Roarbark]

Pretty much. I am glad ppl stopped using that randomizer 

Personally, I liked the NikRizer.

 

[JayKay PE]

I am so happy that gratuitous murder is the spice I've added to the mafia game and that @chart94 has continued with this tradition.

*wipes tear from squinty eye of suspicion* 

 

[chart94 PE]

Guys I’ll be a little late today with the story. Woke up to a flat tire.. so continue with usual suspicions until then.

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

Pretty much. I am glad ppl stopped using that randomizer 

Well, just 'cause it favors you for some reason.  

 

[RBHeadge PE]

Its not murder, it's a lottery.

This was a Shirley Jackson reference.

where's our english major, @squaretaper PE?

 

[txjennah PE]

This was a Shirley Jackson reference.

where's our english major, @squaretaper PE?

Haha. I got it.

 

[MadamPirate PE]

This was a Shirley Jackson reference.

where's our english major, @squaretaper PE?

Hey, I got it! I giggle-snorted. 

 

[Tiger15]

Morning townies.

Coffee time

 

[chart94 PE]

After the unusual discovery at @RBHeadge PE tree lot, the entire town was on edge. It seemed unusual that their mob justice actually worked out for once and it sent shivers down everyone's spines. @Audi driver, P.E. went to work the next day, as usual, in a big office building downtown. He entered as he did every morning and went over to the coffee maker and began to mix his favorite concoction, "special syrup" and coffee. It was the only way @Audi driver, P.E. could even make it through the day anymore. Whistling and walking up to greet his fellow coworker, @ChebyshevII PE waddled up to the coffee machine. "hell of a murder.. errr i mean justice yesterday ehhh @Audi driver, P.E.?!" I suppose so responded @Audi driver, P.E.. What the hell is wrong with you?! replied @ChebyshevII PE you dont seem your usual yule tide self. Did you have your syrup yet?! NO quipped @Audi driver, P.E., sorry he said meekly, I haven't had my syrup. That's quite alright said @ChebyshevII PE, mind if you top me off a bit? @Audi driver, P.E. poured a helpful amount into @ChebyshevII PE cup and walked off.

@ChebyshevII PE drinking his "syrup" began to walk back to his corner office. He had become a major editor for the companies children's book section. His latest and greatest story involved a tomato that lived on a farm and survived by eating other tomatoes. Don't ask why no one quite knows the reason, but it was selling like hotcakes! @ChebyshevII PE was due for a huge bonus, a free vacation to elevator world, and he was going to be inducted into the hall of fame for pencil pushing. It was quite the honor especially around the holidays. It gave him an excuse to openly be an alcoholic without question. Once he got back to his office, @ChebyshevII PE began to decorate putting up trees and wreaths all whilst drinking scotch and blasting rocking around the Christmas tree by Brenda lee. As he was dancing and singing, a dark figure approached him, they quickly subdued him and tied him to an office chair.  As if playing with their victim, they let @ChebyshevII PE come to, bound and gagged to a chair.  The mysterious figure had changed @ChebyshevII PE clothes to a tomato costume. (Yeah i am confused by that part as well)  and let out a small chuckle and said " lets see if tomatoes can fly. " 

Muffled screams as @ChebyshevII PE tried to fight and say "i dont want to see if tomatoes can fly!!" but all that could be heard was mmmfhf mfhmfhf mfhfhhf. Brenda lee was still belting out her song and right at the catchiest part, the mysterious figure tossed the chair out the window. @ChebyshevII PE helplessly fell 70 stories down, right onto @Audi driver, P.E. brand new Porsche. (he betrayed audi but got a great deal by switching to geico.) A car alarm began to blare, the mysterious figure disappeared like a flash up the companies chimney. When everyone discovered what had happened they ran downstairs (not the brightest bunch to run 70 stories) and discovered @ChebyshevII PE mangled corpse on top of the @Audi driver, P.E. Porsche. Chair parts and hydraulic oil were everywhere. The remnants of @ChebyshevII PE head was smeared on the windshield, with his feet ironically on the gas pedal. Almost unceremoniously, the bottle of scotch had made it without breaking,  @Audi driver, P.E. picked it up, wiped the blood off, and topped of his coffee and began to cry. He only had two payments left...

@ChebyshevII PE was waked by the mafia. 

The remaining players are 

@RBHeadge PE @NikR_PE @tj_PE @txjennah PE @MadamPirate @jean15paul_PE @squaretaper PE @blybrook PE @Roarbark @leggo PE 

 

[txjennah PE]

"He only had two payments left..." lmao a worthy successor to @JayKay PE

 

[blybrook PE]

Yes, we went "Fargo" on the mafia!

 

[MadamPirate PE]

@RBHeadge PE Are youuuuuu mafia?

 

[RBHeadge PE]

nope, just a townie

 

[leggo PE]

Aww, we must avenge @ChebyshevII PE's unwarranted murder!!

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

Is @Audi driver, P.E. the Clark Griswald in this story?

Yes. Now see, Chart knows me like we share a bathroom.

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

This was a Shirley Jackson reference.

where's our english major, @squaretaper PE?

Who?

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

Who, indeed.

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

After the unusual discovery at @RBHeadge PE tree lot, the entire town was on edge. It seemed unusual that their mob justice actually worked out for once and it sent shivers down everyone's spines. @Audi driver, P.E. went to work the next day, as usual, in a big office building downtown. He entered as he did every morning and went over to the coffee maker and began to mix his favorite concoction, "special syrup" and coffee. It was the only way @Audi driver, P.E. could even make it through the day anymore. Whistling and walking up to greet his fellow coworker, @ChebyshevII PE waddled up to the coffee machine. "hell of a murder.. errr i mean justice yesterday ehhh @Audi driver, P.E.?!" I suppose so responded @Audi driver, P.E.. What the hell is wrong with you?! replied @ChebyshevII PE you dont seem your usual yule tide self. Did you have your syrup yet?! NO quipped @Audi driver, P.E., sorry he said meekly, I haven't had my syrup. That's quite alright said @ChebyshevII PE, mind if you top me off a bit? @Audi driver, P.E. poured a helpful amount into @ChebyshevII PE cup and walked off.

@ChebyshevII PE drinking his "syrup" began to walk back to his corner office. He had become a major editor for the companies children's book section. His latest and greatest story involved a tomato that lived on a farm and survived by eating other tomatoes. Don't ask why no one quite knows the reason, but it was selling like hotcakes! @ChebyshevII PE was due for a huge bonus, a free vacation to elevator world, and he was going to be inducted into the hall of fame for pencil pushing. It was quite the honor especially around the holidays. It gave him an excuse to openly be an alcoholic without question. Once he got back to his office, @ChebyshevII PE began to decorate putting up trees and wreaths all whilst drinking scotch and blasting rocking around the Christmas tree by Brenda lee. As he was dancing and singing, a dark figure approached him, they quickly subdued him and tied him to an office chair.  As if playing with their victim, they let @ChebyshevII PE come to, bound and gagged to a chair.  The mysterious figure had changed @ChebyshevII PE clothes to a tomato costume. (Yeah i am confused by that part as well)  and let out a small chuckle and said " lets see if tomatoes can fly. " 

Muffled screams as @ChebyshevII PE tried to fight and say "i dont want to see if tomatoes can fly!!" but all that could be heard was mmmfhf mfhmfhf mfhfhhf. Brenda lee was still belting out her song and right at the catchiest part, the mysterious figure tossed the chair out the window. @ChebyshevII PE helplessly fell 70 stories down, right onto @Audi driver, P.E. brand new Porsche. (he betrayed audi but got a great deal by switching to geico.) A car alarm began to blare, the mysterious figure disappeared like a flash up the companies chimney. When everyone discovered what had happened they ran downstairs (not the brightest bunch to run 70 stories) and discovered @ChebyshevII PE mangled corpse on top of the @Audi driver, P.E. Porsche. Chair parts and hydraulic oil were everywhere. The remnants of @ChebyshevII PE head was smeared on the windshield, with his feet ironically on the gas pedal. Almost unceremoniously, the bottle of scotch had made it without breaking,  @Audi driver, P.E. picked it up, wiped the blood off, and topped of his coffee and began to cry. He only had two payments left...

@ChebyshevII PE was waked by the mafia. 

The remaining players are 

@RBHeadge PE @NikR_PE @tj_PE @txjennah PE @MadamPirate @jean15paul_PE @squaretaper PE @blybrook PE @Roarbark @leggo PE 

This is so accurate too.