EB Mafia

[JayKay PE]

I swear I am working on narrative. Work swamped me.

 

[djl PE]

Good morning friends- I was on a site visit and then went home sick yesterday, and didn't give mafia Day 1 a single thought. But I'm here now and spent the first hour of my work day reading the impressive amount of dialogue that occurred yesterday.
That being said... As usual, I have no real reads because I don't have a strategic brain, especially in the fog of a nasty cold. Therefore, I'll continue to observe creepily from the park bench

 

[Tiger15]

Good morning friends- I was on a site visit and then went home sick yesterday, and didn't give mafia Day 1 a single thought. But I'm here now and spent the first hour of my work day reading the impressive amount of dialogue that occurred yesterday.
That being said... As usual, I have no real reads because I don't have a strategic brain, especially in the fog of a nasty cold. Therefore, I'll continue to observe creepily from the park bench

sus

 

[beccabun PE]

@JayKay PE I vote for @djl PE for being creepy

 

[djl PE]

I get up, walk away, and rethink my strategy

 

[DLD PE]

I get up, walk away, and rethink my strategy

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

@JayKay PE I will also vote for @djl PE. That strategy looks vaguely familiar.

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

@squaretaper LIT AF PE was a normal townie (write up tomorrow)

To be fair...I did not claim to be NOT MAF in time.

 

[JayKay PE]

Some were wearing sweatpants, while others had mis-buttoned shirts. One or two looked very well put together, almost too put together, with perfect pants and makeup. Though their wardrobe might differ, every person held the same expression: existential dread mixed with frustrated exasperation.

They were returning to…the office.

“I can’t believe they’re making us do this!” Exclaimed @DuranDuran PE, begrudgingly holding open the door for a coworker, “We were doing so well working remotely!” They kept switching hands holding the door. Their ‘door-holding’ grip strength had waned fairly rapidly once they were confined to their basement office.

@EyehatethePEexam PE fumbled while walking through, attempting to nod thank you and walk at the same time was so difficult. Were public niceties always so difficult? They needed to start practicing their cooler chat now in the bathroom before anyone asked them about the recent football game (a side note, @EyehatethePEexam PE did not watch sports in any manner and, in fact, prefered the weekly ‘Great British Baking Show’ episode release).

Last through the door was @jean15paul_PE. “I know why we’re back here. Have to make sure the managers have work. We're just here so they can pretend they know how to do a job."

The group of employees sighed in unison and made their way towards the bank of elevators.

“I don’t know, I kinda like coming back into the office,” @squaretaper LIT AF PE mused as the doors closed. “It gives me a break from all my animals, and putting out fires in the backyard, plus it lets me tell you guys about my super awesome sauerbraten beer I’ve been experimenting with!”

The ding of the closing doors took on a tense tone.

When their floor was reached, everyone exited.

Except for @squaretaper LIT AF PE, who had been pummeled to death by their briefcase. The faint outline of the copper claps were smudged in the indent on their face, or what was left of it. The weapon of choice looked just as bad as its deceased owner, handle having snapped off and quarterly reports of bathroom use strewn through a weird milky liquid. Maybe the briefcase had been damaged when the neck snapped? A shame, since it was a fairly nice briefcase. Either way, there was now a body in the preferred elevator car, and they’d have to start using the super slow one.

An email would need to go out to let everyone know. Reply all would not be disabled.

Everyone fanned out to check their cubicles. @txjennah PE covertly ‘acquired’ one of @squaretaper LIT AF PE’s cacti, which was somehow still alive after everyone had been gone for so long, as well as a fistful of their nice pens. @FlangeheadPEAZ sniffed at the disastrous state of their desk, trying to make it seem like the mess was due to neglect at the office and not their own shoddy housekeeping.

A shriek from the break room made a few, who hadn’t made it to their cube yet, pivot to check it out. Maybe it was doughnuts? A welcome gift from their supervisor for forcing them to leave their comfortable at-home offices to return to this bureaucratic hell? Maybe something forgotten in the dishwasher had become sentient!?

Instead…it was @ChebyshevII PE, one of the most vocal voices against returning to office, slumped against the breakfast nook table. Their wrists had been sloppily slit by the bagel cutter (approved by management to reduce injury from the weekly bagel delivery).

It was just another Monday.

@squaretaper LIT AF PE was lynched by fellow townies. They were a normal townie.

@ChebyshevII PE was killed by the mafia.

Current players this round: @MeowMeow, @DuranDuran PE, @Dothracki PE, @structurenole15, @beccabun PE. @RBHeadge PE, @jean15paul_PE, @txjennah PE, @NikR_PE, @djl PE, @FlangeheadPEAZ, @EyehatethePEexam PE, @CivilPE2022, and @Lariliss

 

[JayKay PE]

@JayKay PE I will also vote for @djl PE. That strategy looks vaguely familiar.

Sorry. You have been night killed by the mafia. Your vote does not count.

 

[JayKay PE]

Current vote:

x1 @DuranDuran PE (civilPE)
x1 @djl PE (becca)

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

Sorry. You have been night killed by the mafia. Your vote does not count.

GOSH DARN IT

 

[txjennah PE]

@JayKay PE I vote for @DuranDuran PE

 

[DLD PE]

Damn...a bagel cutter? Death by briefcase? Brutal start!

 

[DLD PE]

@JayKay PE I vote for @DuranDuran PE

 

[chart94 PE]

ikr, @SaltySteve PE @RBHeadge PE @NikR_PE

Definitely not four or five times in a row,
right @chart94

Never could happen....

 

[JayKay PE]

Current vote:

x2 @DuranDuran PE (civilPE, txj)
x1 @djl PE (becca)

 

[DLD PE]

 

[Eye Hate Landscaping PE]

Some were wearing sweatpants, while others had mis-buttoned shirts. One or two looked very well put together, almost too put together, with perfect pants and makeup. Though their wardrobe might differ, every person held the same expression: existential dread mixed with frustrated exasperation.

They were returning to…the office.

“I can’t believe they’re making us do this!” Exclaimed @DuranDuran PE, begrudgingly holding open the door for a coworker, “We were doing so well working remotely!” They kept switching hands holding the door. Their ‘door-holding’ grip strength had waned fairly rapidly once they were confined to their basement office.

@EyehatethePEexam PE fumbled while walking through, attempting to nod thank you and walk at the same time was so difficult. Were public niceties always so difficult? They needed to start practicing their cooler chat now in the bathroom before anyone asked them about the recent football game (a side note, @EyehatethePEexam PE did not watch sports in any manner and, in fact, prefered the weekly ‘Great British Baking Show’ episode release).

Last through the door was @jean15paul_PE. “I know why we’re back here. Have to make sure the managers have work. We're just here so they can pretend they know how to do a job."

The group of employees sighed in unison and made their way towards the bank of elevators.

“I don’t know, I kinda like coming back into the office,” @squaretaper LIT AF PE mused as the doors closed. “It gives me a break from all my animals, and putting out fires in the backyard, plus it lets me tell you guys about my super awesome sauerbraten beer I’ve been experimenting with!”

The ding of the closing doors took on a tense tone.

When their floor was reached, everyone exited.

Except for @squaretaper LIT AF PE, who had been pummeled to death by their briefcase. The faint outline of the copper claps were smudged in the indent on their face, or what was left of it. The weapon of choice looked just as bad as its deceased owner, handle having snapped off and quarterly reports of bathroom use strewn through a weird milky liquid. Maybe the briefcase had been damaged when the neck snapped? A shame, since it was a fairly nice briefcase. Either way, there was now a body in the preferred elevator car, and they’d have to start using the super slow one.

An email would need to go out to let everyone know. Reply all would not be disabled.

Everyone fanned out to check their cubicles. @txjennah PE covertly ‘acquired’ one of @squaretaper LIT AF PE’s cacti, which was somehow still alive after everyone had been gone for so long, as well as a fistful of their nice pens. @FlangeheadPEAZ sniffed at the disastrous state of their desk, trying to make it seem like the mess was due to neglect at the office and not their own shoddy housekeeping.

A shriek from the break room made a few, who hadn’t made it to their cube yet, pivot to check it out. Maybe it was doughnuts? A welcome gift from their supervisor for forcing them to leave their comfortable at-home offices to return to this bureaucratic hell? Maybe something forgotten in the dishwasher had become sentient!?

Instead…it was @ChebyshevII PE, one of the most vocal voices against returning to office, slumped against the breakfast nook table. Their wrists had been sloppily slit by the bagel cutter (approved by management to reduce injury from the weekly bagel delivery).

It was just another Monday.

@squaretaper LIT AF PE was lynched by fellow townies. They were a normal townie.

@ChebyshevII PE was killed by the mafia.

Current players this round: @MeowMeow, @DuranDuran PE, @Dothracki PE, @structurenole15, @beccabun PE. @RBHeadge PE, @jean15paul_PE, @txjennah PE, @NikR_PE, @djl PE, @FlangeheadPEAZ, @EyehatethePEexam PE, @CivilPE2022, and @Lariliss

Walking and nodding...multitasking at its worst. I just grunt and mumble something about "damn kids" while avoiding eye contact.

 

[RBHeadge PE]

@MeowMeow is mafia