EB Mafia

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"I don't understand why we had to come to this."

"Shh, @LyceeFruit PE, it's about being a good friend," hissed @tj_PE.

"We could have been spelunking with @Road Guy, but nooooooo."

@txjennah PE shot @LyceeFruit PE a scolding look before turning back to the stage.

"I don't even think they serve booze here."

@Dothracki looked confused.  "I didn't think you drink?"

"I don't, but @NikR_PE does."

Said @NikR_PE looked like they were suffering a large bout of indigestion as the caterwauling continued on the stage.  It seemed like it was some sort of opera that was supposed to be about ancient Greece, except it had somehow devolved into singing about fighting grease?  And how the main character and their compatriots, a lovely Grecian choir, were fighting to clean up their acts?  It was also in Italian for some reason having to do with the composer.  All in all, the opera was horrible and confusing, and slippery as hell due to the bubbles all over the stage, and there was only one reason they were here:

@squaretaper LIT AF PE had somehow landed the lead as Ajax; the grease defeater.  

"This has to be a joke," said @NikR_PE, finally lifting their head to gaze at the stage before groaning and dropping it again, "I hope this is a joke." They said to the floor, wincing when @squaretaper LIT AF PE started reaching the very limited high register of their range.

The translation projected above the stage said the aria being sung had something to do with 20-seconds is how long it would take to beat the Romans.  Even though it was an opera, a kickline had started to form.

All of a sudden-alack! A sinister oboe cue!  Obviously a Roman!

A large bear dressed in regalia one would find in a museum, including a huge red plume, sauntered onto the stage.  Everyone was surprised at the silky smooth baritone of @blybrook PE, except for maybe the conductor who wasn't afraid of bears, having worked on the gay scene for numerous years before becoming a professional musician, and their voice covered the extremely complicated phrases that almost felt Rossini-esque.  The only thing confusing was the baritone was singing in Russian and not Italian, unlike everyone else.

Before long everyone, even @LyceeFruit PE, became engrossed in the story.  When @squaretaper LIT AF PE's long-lost twin brother returned from the dead (named Palmolive), everyone smiled at the duet.  A gasp came from the crowd when the love interest, (Irish Spring), succumbed to a pan with caked on lasagna.  Granted, the gasp was more because they had died by being smashed in the back of the head by it, but the coloratura solo as they laid, dying, also brought tears to some eyes.  @blybrook PE, who was playing the roguish Roman going by Dial, was eventually defeated by @squaretaper LIT AF PE when the lead actor threw a combination of vinegar and baking soda on them-before pushing them into an active volcano.

But in the end, it was an opera, even if it was based around soap, and operas thrived on tragedy.  A misstep on a bar of soap, which somehow got lodged in @squaretaper LIT AF PE's throat as they fell, and the lead actor perished to a sorrowful chord of violins and trumpets.  The bubbles foaming from @squaretaper LIT AF PE's mouth covered a majority of the stage and had started dripping into the orchestra pit, which was not amusing.  A stage hand dragged the body off stage left so the curtain could drop.

"That was weird.  Let's not do this again."

@squaretaper LIT AF PE was mafia.

TOWNIES WIN

Final vote:

@squaretaper LIT AF PE (tj, txj, doth, nik)

@tj_PE was the cop

@NikR_PE was the doctor

@RBHeadge PE, @ChebyshevII PE, and @squaretaper LIT AF PE were the mafia.

 
It seemed like it was some sort of opera that was supposed to be about ancient Greece, except it had somehow devolved into singing about fighting grease? 
I KNOW MY SOAPS, this is going to be an Ajax joke. 

@squaretaper LIT AF PE had somehow landed the lead as Ajax; the grease defeater.  
There it is. 

 Even though it was an opera, a kickline had started to form...

All of a sudden-alack! A sinister oboe cue!  Obviously a Roman!

the conductor who wasn't afraid of bears, having worked on the gay scene for numerous years before becoming a professional musician, and their voice covered the extremely complicated phrases that almost felt Rossini-esque.  The only thing confusing was the baritone was singing in Russian and not Italian, unlike everyone else.
Perfect 5/7

Before long everyone, even @LyceeFruit PE, became engrossed in the story.  When @squaretaper LIT AF PE's long-lost twin brother returned from the dead (named Palmolive), everyone smiled at the duet.  A gasp came from the crowd when the love interest, (Irish Spring), succumbed to a pan with caked on lasagna.  Granted, the gasp was more because they had died by being smashed in the back of the head by it, but the coloratura solo as they laid, dying, also brought tears to some eyes.  @blybrook PE, who was playing the roguish Roman going by Dial, was eventually defeated by @squaretaper LIT AF PE when the lead actor threw a combination of vinegar and baking soda on them-before pushing them into an active volcano.

But in the end, it was an opera, even if it was based around soap, and operas thrived on tragedy.  A misstep on a bar of soap, which somehow got lodged in @squaretaper LIT AF PE's throat as they fell, and the lead actor perished to a sorrowful chord of violins and trumpets.  The bubbles foaming from @squaretaper LIT AF PE's mouth covered a majority of the stage and had started dripping into the orchestra pit, which was not amusing.  A stage hand dragged the body off stage left so the curtain could drop.

"That was weird.  Let's not do this again."

@squaretaper LIT AF PE was mafia.

TOWNIES WIN
Dial is actually a good name for a villain though. 
GG everyone!


 
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