The scene is set: The two families have finally met to discuss the ongoing feud between them.
On one side of the long polished table: @tj_PE. @Dothracki, @txjennah PE, and @jean15paul_PE
On the other side: @LyceeFruit PE, @DuranDuran, @NikR_PE, and @Roarbark
“We’ve come here today in an attempt to mend fences,” said @txj, leader of the infamous Wood Chipper Gang.
@LyceeFruit PE scoffed, “If you were truly ready to make peace, you’d change your name and leave this city.” The shredded remains of their face stretched in a gruesome smile, a gift from one of their earliest encounters with the other gang’s namesake, “Some of us have long memories.”
@NikR_PE sitting nearby snorted back a laugh, turning the motion into tapping their smoldering cigar against a heavy ashtray. “And sometimes we like to hold a grudge against others.”
@txjennah PE made a motion to sit at @tj_PE, who had started to stand at the insult, and leaned back into their chair. “It is my understanding that you requested us to come to this talk, not the other way around, so excuse me for being a little short in listening to your demands.”
“Why would we, the Ax Gang, ask for the Wood Chippers to meet peacefully? You know our stance of sustainable logging, and how you oppose it, we can’t even stand to be here.”
@NikR_PE said, cigar firmly tucked in the corner of their mouth as they responded. “Besides, we received the invitation from insta that said you wanted to meet.”
“That is ridiculous,” said @Dothracki, the youngest of the group, and thus, the most up to date on technology and the groups social media presence, “Everyone knows tiktok is the only platform the Wood Chippers use!”
@Roarbark nudged at their phone with a cold nose, clacking at the tabletop as they hoisted themselves into a position that allowed them to open their phone. “Bork, bork, bork.” They said haltingly, the words sounding thick on their tongue, before the pushed their phone across the table. On the screen was an Instagram page of @w.chippahs, who were claiming to be the Wood Chipper Gang. “Bork, bork, bork-bork.” They continued, a claw tapping to pull up a message that stated the Wood Chipper Gang was wrong and wanted to discuss things with the Ax Gang.
Before the Wood Chipper Gang was able to respond, to even figure out how to respond, @DuranDuran pulled out their pistol and quickly emptied it in the direction of the Wood Chipper’s. As the smoke cleared, and the glass stopped falling from the ceiling fixture (
@DuranDuran was a very poor shot), nobody seemed harmed, except for
@jean15paul_PE.
Sprawled on the floor on their side, nobody reacted. A gun? At a peaceful meetings between wood chopping gangs? Who did
@DuranDuran think they were?!?
@Roarbark was the first to move, bounding from their chair and running over to @JP on their two backs legs, which was different, but maybe they were panicked about the cops arriving?
Instead, the door slammed open and @blybrook PE, lifelong friend to @Roarbark, appeared!
“дураки,” roared @blybrook PE, rapidly approaching the now weeping @Roarbark who was cradling @jean15paul_PE’s body to their chest, “Разве вы не видите, что вы сделали?” Magically in their paw, a makeup removal wipe. “Они не то, что вы думаете.” Dabbing delicately at the crumpled features of
@jean15paul_PE, the bear began rubbing a bit more vigorously, to reveal a startling surprise:
@Roarbark was now sobbing over themselves-
@jean15paul_PE had magically been turned into
@Roarbark.
“We…we just wanted the fighting to end,” wailed @Roarbark, who after a quick scrub of a clean makeup wipe was revealed to be @jean15paul_PE, “Me and @Roarbark found out we were both fans of the polka and we just…we just wanted to dance together. Just once. Without everyone fighting.”
@jean15paul_PE sobbed again, pulling
@Roarbark’s head closer so they could place a delicate kiss to their furry forehead.
So involved in the star-crossed polka lovers’ turmoil, nobody noticed the traditional Amazonian blow-dart gun appear from behind a strategically placed window curtain.
Everyone noticed when @DuranDuran gasped dramatically and fell to their knees, hand grasping their chest, before falling face-first on the floor.
@Roarbark was killed in a RPS showoff. Roar was a normal townie
@DuranDuran was murdered by the mafia
The remaining players are:
@txjennah PE,
@squaretaper LIT AF PE,
@Roarbark,
@Dothracki,
@tj_PE,
@LyceeFruit PE,
@NikR_PE,
@Road Guy, and
@Audi driver, P.E.
JP
Roar
Winner
Paper
Paper
Tie
Rock
Rock
Tie
Scissors
Sziccah
Tie
Scissors
Pepper
JP
Paper
Paper
Tie
Rock
paper
Roar
Paper
Rock
JP
Scissors
Rock On
Roar
Rock
2 Pairs of scissors. Is that how you spell scissors? Just hit my "semantic satiation" point.
JP
Rock
Rock
Tie
Win: 3
Win: 2
Winner: JP