Bad advice to previous poster

[Supe]

Take a deep philosophical approach to your project, and explain to your professor that the project is really just a metaphor for life's unrealistic expectations of the student body and professional work force.

I'm sick and tired of my job and want a different career. What's my best option?

 

[matt267 PE]

Become a drug mule.

What should I do on October 31st?

 

[knight1fox3]

Obviously you should be doing this:

I need a vacation. Where should I go?

 

[Supe]

I hear it's a real mecca for engineers:

I'm almost out of chewing gum but am too lazy to walk to the store to get some. What to do?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Chew on a rubber band.

How hard should I pursue job options in New Zealand?

 

[csb]

Be sure to mention how much you loved Lord of the Rings in any and all interviews.

What should I listen to on my four-hour drive to the worksite today?

 

[Supe]

Simply... having.... a wonderful Christmas time................ on repeat, of course.

My phone cover keeps getting smudged. What should I do to prevent it?

 

[mevans154]

Turtle Wax the $hit out of it!

How do I tell my niece that she is has put on the "Freshman 20" the first two months of college?

 

[matt267 PE]

Ask her when the baby is due.

How do I get rid of this cold and sinus pressure before the 30th?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

(damn, do you wish death upon him?)

Drill.

If I move to New Zealand, what should I do with my car? (They drive on the opposite side of the street)

 

[Ramnares P.E.]

Race with any cops you see and get it impounded.

How do I get my boss off my back when he keeps asking for data that does not exist?

 

[akwooly]

Tell your boss you uploaded the data and it can be found at lemonparty.org

How do I tell my wife i lost my wedding ring?

 

[Ble_PE]

Tell her you didn't have enough cash for the lap dance at the titty bar.

(I actually did lose my wedding ring a couple of months ago when I was flipped in a kayak.)

How do I get my kids to quit fighting with each other all the time?

 

[Ramnares P.E.]

Tell them the next one who loses the fight gets put up for adoption.

How do I get out of house cleaning with my wife this weekend?

 

[Ble_PE]

Burn the house down.

How do I leave work early and not be noticed?

 

[P-E]

Lots of accelerant and a match should make quick work of that damned office.

Wife is away for the weekend. What should I do for fun?

 

[Ble_PE]

Hookers and blow.

Where should the mrs. and I eat tonight?

 

[P-E]

Give her the royal treatment; Burger King then Dairy Queen

I hate raking leaves. Any way to get this done quickly?

 

[Ble_PE]

Blow them into your neighbor's yard.

What beer should I drink tonight?

 

[envirotex]

Schlitz Malt Liquor. 40s.

How can I be in two places at the same time?