I was drunk (continue the story)......

[leggo PE]

Decided to ignore the yurt and pitch a tent. The problem was

 

[matt267 PE]

it was cold out and the pitched "tent" was embarrassingly small.  

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

My girlfriend at the time gave a sheepish smile and said it was still a good size, but I'm still thinking she meant

 

[matt267 PE]

"I'm only with you for your dad's money." Little does she know...

 

[kevo_55]

That Dad stole that money.

 

[matt267 PE]

You see, my Dad was never that smart. He always wanted to be a...

 

[kevo_55]

a full time Netflix viewer.

 

[leggo PE]

It seemed like a great idea, but...

 

[RBHeadge PE]

he was still using a dial up modem. So he had to

 

[Audi Driver P.E.]

Pull the head off Elvis
Fill Fred up to his pelvis... yabba dabba doo...

 

[matt267 PE]

Opps, please excuse my tourettes. Where was I? Oh yeah, dial up modem. So my Dad had to figure a way to upgrade the internet in the trailer.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

He thought he could "supercharge" it by connecting directly into the power substation next to his trailer park.  So that night he and my brother...

 

[RBHeadge PE]

broke into the hardware store to "borrow" a ladder but the

 

[Matt Skillet]

buzz was starting to wear off. Then....

 

[JHW 3d]

...the cops showed up. They weren’t there for the break-in, but to bust a crack dealer operating out of a dumpster out back. Little did they know, but...

 

[matt267 PE]

that crack dealer was actually my mother. I hid...

 

[kevo_55]

behind a hobo taking a leak by the dumpster. I then waited.....

 

[RBHeadge PE]

for the fuzz to move past us. Once their backs were turned I ran inside the store to warn my father and brother that

 

[matt267 PE]

mom was heading to jail, again.

 

[RBHeadge PE]

So we were going to need to "borrow" some tools to break her out of jail, again. Since we were already in the hardware store we grabbed a ladder,...