Bad advice to previous poster

[Dexman PE PMP]

Provide story-time where you read the instructions to them (picture books help too).

How do I get my cat to stop pissing all over my house?

 

[Sapper PE LS]

Take it off the roof and let it piss inside the house.

How do I get a mod to merge this thread with the engineering by magic thread since that one devolved into a bad advice thread too.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Delete your account and all of your posts and....

How do I merge threads?

 

[Sapper PE LS]

Give me admin powers... No wait that was bad advice, real answer is to check the thread to merge and then select merge from the mod options

How do you tell the guy buying lotto tickets in front of you in line that he's better off giving me the money and then we'd both be happy... He wasted money, I got money and move ahead in line.

 

[YMZ PE]

Call RG an idiot until he does it for you.

*EDIT* That was for Dex. Sap interfered.

In response to Sap's: Just do it.

What's a nice place I can take my in-laws for dinner?

 

[Sapper PE LS]

Popeyes

How do I suggest to my in laws that they pay for dinner?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Dine and dash when you go out to dinner with them.

How do you like my first merge job?

 

[sycamore PE]

Your merge job is so good, you should quit your job and stay home admin-ing EB.com full time.

Where's a good place to buy a set of bunk beds?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

A whore house clearance sale.

How do I watch live sporting events without cable/satillite?

 

[blybrook PE]

By buying season tickets and extra airfares to watch every game possible in person across the country.

How can u get people to throw their garbage in the dumpster instead of the back of a truck on their other side (truck on left, dumpster on right, walking in between) ?

 

[mevans154]

Sell the truck and buy a scooter.

What is the procedure for getting out of the infinite loop printed on the back of my shampoo bottle...

"Lather, Rinse, Repeat"

 

[YMZ PE]

No need to terminate the process. Eventually you'll encounter a stack overflow and die.

How do I get bubble gum out of my hair?

 

[engineergurl]

chew on it, until it disintegrates... if your jaw gets tired, have some one else take a turn

how do I get the dogs to understand that the baby gate is not there as a challenge/game for them to see how long it will take to get to the other side as soon as I walk out the door but it's intent is to keep them out of the litter box and kitty food?

 

[Supe]

Electric baby gate.

What should I order from Chili's tonight?

 

[sycamore PE]

No food, just margaritas. Many margaritas.

What's a good Pandora station to play when having company over?

 

[knight1fox3]

Death metal.

What should the topic of my term project be?

 

[blybrook PE]

How Genocide in Syria causes a strong support & sense of pride for our commander and chief with the general population.

What restaurant should I go to for horrible Chinese food?

 

[Supe]

Ask Kim Jong Un's personal chef for some.

What should I make my racing side skirts out of so they don't catch fire?

 

[engineergurl]

that material they put on Katniss

How do I add more hours into a day so I don't have to choose between sleep and getting things accomplished?

 

[sycamore PE]

Meth.

How do I reduce useless meeting time and increase real work time?