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We stayed at a place in Savanna one time. We had to try three rooms before we found one that was clean. One of them even had a brown trout floating ceremoniously in the bowl.

Another time we stayed in a place in Heflin AL where we had to change the lightbulbs out ourselves. Plus, they don't sell cold beer in Heflin.

As a buddy of mine told me, "Heflin ain't no picnic."

 
After a bunch of gobbly **** about as a priority club member and how my business is important to them...first response from the Corporate level was to pass the buck to the local level.

I have forwarded your comments to the General Manager and ownership of this hotel, and I am confident they will take the necessary steps to continue to improve their services. In addition, in an effort to retain your patronage and demonstrate our concern in this matter, I have issued 1,000 points to your account, on their behalf. These points will be converted to your current earning preference with Priority Club Rewards and should appear in your account within the next 7-10 business days.




 
I thank my lucky stars that for work travel they typically don't mind booking something a little more upscale than the true "budget" chains. I usually manage a Courtyard by Marriot or a Hilton Garden Inn or something similar. Occasionally the Doubletree or a real Marriot...depends on how much more expensive the nice place is compared to the cheaper offerings!

Personal travel is another story. My brother is in the Coast Guard and spent his first 18 months in the service stationed in Philadelphia, and he lived at the unit (they had very nice dormitory style housing for about 30 single Coasties right there). We went to visit him on New Year's because his cutter was responsible for providing security for the fireworks barge and they were allowed to bring friends/family out for the evening. It was nice; they had a grill right on the boat and we had burgers and hot dogs before leaving the dock. They had me and my husband driving the cutter (under my brother's watchful eye) and it was a real blast. Anyways, since he didn't have a place of his own and we couldn't stay at the unit with him, we had to get a hotel room.

We were looking for a hotel that actually HAD rooms available since we only decided on about the 28th that we'd go for New Year's Eve, and found a Ramada across the river in New Jersey. It was right near Camden, which is apparently the murder capital of the US for several years running. The hotel itself was in what I'd term an "economically depressed area" and there was a long line of people checking in for the New Year's Eve special. We were accosted by crackheads begging for money in the check in line inside the lobby. Then we got a room that wasn't so bad, except there was a 3" gap under the door - no kidding, I measured it. The lock on the door was not exactly robust, either. When we got back to the hotel at about 2 AM, we got walk past a crackhead, plus there was a group of idiot college kids right next door who were smoking weed and being raucuous. One of them body-checked the door and tried to get in. I was convinced we'd wind up robbed or dead.

We survived the night and checked out at about 6 AM. My parents stayed at that hotel several times when visiting my brother and thought it was just fine, so maybe New Year's Eve brought out the crazies and druggies. The kid PCSed 4 months later, so we never had to go back!

 
For some reason or another, my sister is obsessed with the Amish. In order to satisfy her Amish vacation fetish, she rented an apartment for the summer from a woman in Strasburg (just outside Lancaster) who was going to be in Paris with her son.

My sister wouldn't be up there for two weeks or so, so she mailed me the key to the apartment so that my girlfriend and I could stay there for a few days to vacation at Hershey Park before I left for Texas.

Well, I get there and walk up the steps and I see the door cracked open. Through the gap in the door I can see stuff strewn all over what appeared to be her living room. "Oh God, this lady is being robbed" I thought to myself.

Knife in hand, I nudge the door open and slowly slide in. There sits a woman on her laptop, with a look of terror on her face which could only correlate with the thought "I'm being robbed, and this man is going to kill me." Naturally, the only words that could come out of my mouth were, "Um, heeeeeeeey..."

Turns out that the woman's flight for the previous day was cancelled, and she was still packing things, preparing to leave for her rescheduled flight in a couple of hours. She didn't think anyone was going to be there since my sister wasn't planning on coming until the weeks following, even though she technically was already renting the apartment.

So the girlfriend and I went shopping for a few hours to let her finish packing her things, and to presumably change her underpants one last time prior to takeoff.

 
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... so that my girlfriend and I could stay there for a few days to vacation at Hershey Park ...
Were you dating Ann from the US? (nah, I won't go there...)

Good stories!

I have a story that is kind of the opposite: what can happen when you put some hard-core oilfield trash into a nice hotel.

The oil field company I used to work for was a fortune 500 company and would put its employees up in very fine hotels, when need be. One time I was on an offshore job in California, and when we were finished, my staff had all gone without documented sleep for far too long to legally drive our truck back to our shop, which was maybe 2 hours away.

So we checked into the Hilton (or Marriot?) and headed into town for the strip clubs.

Being young and impressionable, I went along with it, so the guys could have some fun. We hit some pretty seedy places, too, including a Vietnamese "buy me drinkie" bar where you could cleary see several patrons getting ******** at their booths. This was an eye opener for me, at that age.

We ended the evening at a "lingerie billiards" club, well past closing. I had gotten fed up and begun insisting that we return to the hotel. My staff were beginning to get belligerent, so I just told them that I was leaving, and walked out and got in my (company) car.

As soon as I sat down, a pregnant crack whore (I'm not joking - she must have been 7-8 months) came up and knocked on my window. I rolled it down a half inch, and started trying to say "no thank you", when all of a sudden my crew comes stumbling out of the bar. They asked me to unlock the doors for them and the next thing I know, they've got the pregnant crack whore sandwiched between them in the back seat.

This sets off a big argument, with me insisting there is no way she's going anywhere in my company car, and my crew insisting they just want to "give her a ride". Seeing that I had no options at this point (I couldn't walk, this was particularly seedy and dangerous part of Long Beach), I drove off and asked them where to take her.

Well, to cut this a little short, they directed me back to the Hilton, and seeing that I had been "tricked", I got all pissed off and ordered them all out about a half block away. By the time I got the car parked and walked into the lobby, they were all there, too. Walking into the elevator with the pregnant crack whore. And me. In front of a growing contingent of security guards, who had begun to gather to see what was up.

I ended up in the elevator with them (it seemed like a worse idea to wait for another one, at the time). They all got off on the same floor, with the pregnant crack whore. I continued on, alone, to my room, supremely embarassed and generally disgusted with my fellow Fortune 500 employees. :blink:

 
Believe me, you got off easy on that one! I know quite a few guys who were welders down in Antarctica. Stick about 1000 guys with a handful of women indoors all day for a few months, and use your imagination for the rest. I've been told that the divorce rate is pretty high for those folk...

 
"a pregnant crack whore"

No way I'm gonna try and top that. Great story. Back to studying for Friday.

 
From an old stand up routine:

So I'm lying in bed, naked, and the maid walks in..... FINALLY

I've stayed in some nasty places - but tops was the "Commodore Hotel" in Seattle. The website made it look like a cool little place in a hip part of town - and maybe it was, but...

Room was tiny - when you sat on the can your feet were in the shower (though I'm told this is common in other parts of the world)

Room was filthy (bloody, used band-aid stuck to the fitted mattress sheet. Felt something with my foot - what is that? AAGGHH!!)

About 4am, we had a knock on the door - the knock had that certain je ne sais quoi that said "open up, I've got the stuff.."

 
About 30 years ago, we took a family trip and ended up staying at this marvelous edifice called the Tygert Inn. I think it was in WV, but I'd have to confirm. Anyway, the Tygert has been our family benchmark for rating bad hotels. Brown water from the tub and sink, 'street vendors' on the street outside, all sorts of piping running through the room (which was pretty darn big).

Edit: A quick google search revealed it was probably the Tygart Inn, somewhere near Elkins WV. Dad (and BIL)goes up there every April. Too freakin' cold for me.

 
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Wow, DLeg's story makes me once again realize why I've never gone to a strip club. I felt slimy just reading that.
Going to a strip club is one thing, it's eating anything from the free lunch buffet they provide that makes you step back for a second and think about things...

 
^^ is that innuendo or do they really provide free lunch buffets? I ask as one who's only ever gone well past the lunch hour of course . . .

 
^^ is that innuendo or do they really provide free lunch buffets? I ask as one who's only ever gone well past the lunch hour of course . . .
For once, its actually NOT innuendo. Several of them actually offer buffets. More often than not, they're free, or actual meals are dirt cheap, because they know they're not losing money on you the second you walk through the door.

Lord knows where the hands of their "regular" customers have been, and I sure as hell don't want any of that anywhere close to my mouth.

 
just when you think a thread can't get any worse...

 
Many years ago, we used to frequent a place that had a kitchen/grill inside. The cheeseburger plate with a side of fries was only $3 and it was very good. The cook was a nice guy and took pride in keeping a clean kitchen. And of course, we didn't carry the plate up and sit and eat in the front row.

 
We had a strip club where I live now that would advertize "free cup of soup!" to entice you in. I went there only once, and the soup of the day was "cream of bacon."

I declined.

 
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^ local strip club offers a free taco bar at lunch, which is ACTUAL tacos
soft-shell i assume. . .WAIT! - is this innuendo this time?

 
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I talked to Dad last night and asked him about the Tygart Inn. Looks like it is in DV's back yard.

Anyway, it was in Elkins, WV. It was actually the Tygart Hotel and is now either aprtments or condos. I guess the neighborhood has gentrified n tha last thirty years. I actually assumed it had been torn down.

Does the Cafe Erotic at I-75 and 247 in Warner Robins GA still serve food? I remember when Jerry Springer shot a show there back in the mid-nineties.

 
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