OK...I'm going to attempt this, but my writing skillls may make it not as funny as when I tell it.
About 15 years ago, I was dating this girl that had a 5 year old son. We had been together for about 2 years, so the little boy was getting to the point that he told people I was his dad. We did a lot together, so it wasn't that wierd, plus his dad never saw him.
We had decided to travel to Chapel Hill to watch DISNEY ON ICE....yep, I was going to watch Disney on Ice! The trip was about 45 minutes from my house, and most of it was on the interstate. We loaded the little fella into the back seat of my explorer, and off we went. We got almost there, and Little John started whimpering like something was wrong so his mom asked him "Honey, what's wrong?" his reply as he continued to cry........"My tallywhacker is hard." I just about ran off the road! That cracks me up every time I think of that story.
My girlfriend looked at me with a SHOCK on her face, and we both sat there trying not to laugh at the poor kid.