THE DRUNK TANK... 2.0

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Since my inhibitions are down, I decided to investigate the dated wood paneling in my house. Grabbed a pry bar, lifted up one of the looser panels and saw something that looked like wallpapered drywall behind. I thought, "Sweet! I can remove it all instead of painting over it!"

Started to remove some on one wall, then found out...no. There are exposed studs behind the paneling. @#$^%! need to get a miter saw and some quarter-round to replace the one I broke. Maybe should have started a list of things to do for when i sober up.

 
I'm pretty sure you said you were never drinking again last week. Don't worry though 3 glasses of chardonnay also makes for a fun Friday AM.

 
here we go....

not so very long ago, I can still remember how the drunk tank made me smile

and I knew if I had my chance, and the internet let me post some rants

that maybe I'd be happy for a while

but october came and went

and I sat for the exam and had to repent

for not studying for longer

I knew I must-of failed

I can't remember if I cried

the day eb said results were out

but I checked the web page faithfully

and my state had not released my scores

so, why, why am I still waiting

I took the PE exam and paid a bunch of money

I uploaded my application and I did what they asked

now I'm waiting for my results with the rest

of the shmucks and it really sucks

my pencil was very blue

and then it was very red

maybe green would bring luck..

Can you remember what the answer was

oh wait we can't talk about that

we signed an agreement to keep quiet...

well this year my pencil's black,

that can't be a very good sign

I think I'll just fill in the answer sheet

with all choice D

Insert verse because EG is too drunk to figure it out

While everyone calculated their math

I was clenching my cheeks hoping that I wouldn't shart

and they will pass and i'll be here again

the next time, the PE's given

why, why did I ever think I could pass

they didn't even teach us this crap in basic math

I'm so glad I have a night at the hotel

perhaps I can find some hookers and blow

the dude next to me has BO

and they just told us the bathrooms don't work

I guess I really am out of luck

I think I left my headlights on

and the car will die

I really wish I hadn't eaten

that awesome Chinese food

something something about a PE and a pencil, wait why am I typing this

why why did I think I

wanted to be an engineer

this test sucks more the 9th time

I think I just crapped my pants

helter skelter throw the pencils into the air

my calculator is in my pants

but the proctor is one sexy 80 year old lady

she's giving me the evil eye

but I think I can seduce her and get her to help

maybe I'll pass this time

now i'm banging an 80 year old proctor

I wish I could rewind time

the crap in my pants has solidified

okay guys, finish it up i'm done it's way tooo late and i'm tired.... make Don McLean proud

 
hangover starting to wear off now. The back room is where they keep all of the local micro-brews. The one I had last night had quite a bit more alcohol in it than I'm used to in a beer...

 
Noon football games make for a weird day. I was drinking at 9 am, drunk by 11...just now sobering up at 6. I'm going to a party for the ND-Mich game tonight...probably going to be drunk twice today.

 

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