Star Bores 2

[Dleg]

"Fudge you, sschell!" Road Guy boomed, from the top of Roadie-Wan's head.

"Oh, hey, what's up King Road Guy! Heh heh." schell waved to the Gerbil King. Road Guy gave him this middle finger.

"Captain! Our ship has been caught by the sucktor beam coming from that unidentified planet!" Executive Officer Supe pointed at the forward tactical display, which was now filled with the image of a rugged, rocky planet that was distinctly marked with the pale sign of the skull and crossbones across its visible face.

"Jebus!" sschell shuddered. "What's the plan?"

"Sir, I have taken the advice of the Jedi: we can't fight our way out of this. I was just about to address the crew and prepare them for surrender."

"Surrender??!! Hell! We will fight them to the death!!" Sschell raised a fist in the air, but was met with nothing but the sound of the groans and pops of the hull as the ship entered the pirate planet's gravitational field. The crew stared back at him, wide-eyed and silent.

Supe finally spoke. "After you, sir." He handed sschell a phaser rifle from the bridge weapons rack.

"What, me? Fudge that! Give me the microphone!" sschell took the intercom mike from Frazil and cleared his throat:

"Good afternoon! This is your Captain speaking. If you look out the windows to the port side of the ship, you can see the Gerbil Star Omicron Prime. It's truly a unique star, being only about ten kilometers in diameter, yet with the mass of forty suns! Isn't that amazing?! To the starboard is the, uh, Habitrail Nebula, which is composed of the old outer shells of Omicron Prime, and is really quite special in itself." Sshell paused and cleared his throat again.

"And if you look forward, you will see the pirate planet, which has caught us in its sucktor beam, and is now pulling us to our imminent deaths. Now, I suggest you all put your heads between your knees, and reflect on your lives. It's been an honor to be your Captain. Uh... Amen."

Sschell returned the mike to Frazil, clapped his hands, and addressed the bridge crew. "I don't know about you guys, but I thought that was pretty good, huh?"

 

[Dleg]

"Now, what should we do!" sschell retrieved a key from inside his uniform shirt and strolled over to the Pilot's station, flipping open the large transparent cover on a red button labeled "EMERGENCY BRIDGE JETTISON"

"Sir! You can't be serious! You wouldn't abandon your crew like that, would you?!" Supe was horrified.

Roadie-Wan stepped forward. "sschell, the sucktor beam has us, no matter how many pieces we might break into. Your fate would be the same as your crew. I have something here that will give you the courage you need to face our new captors."

Roadie-Wan pulled a small bottle from his tunic, and a smile spread across sschell's face. "Oh, yeah! Now you're talkin', Roadie Wan!" Sschell too two small pills from the bottle and swallowed them. "Now listen up! I want everyone looking their best! We shall surrender with honor as Officers of the Galactic Republic Spacefleet!"

The bridge crew snapped to attention and responded in unison, "Aye, aye, Captain!"

 

[Dleg]

The GSS Chucktown groaned and shook as it decelerated toward the pirate planet's rocky surface. sschell and the crew on the bridge watched the tactical display screens silently as they descended. The rocky surface, which at first appeared barren, began to reveal patterns of civilization. A network of lines connected disturbed-looking areas - possibly cities? As they came closer, it became apparent that the cities and roads were in fact ruins, apparently long abandoned. Craters pockmarked the surface, and the skull-and-crossbones pattern revealed itself to be formed merely from disturbed rock.

The Chucktown descended toward one of larger nodes, which slowly revealed itself to be the ruins of a great city. Shattered stumps of buildings, broken roadways and bridges stretched for as far the sensors could detect in all directions. A large doorway opened beneath them, revealing a massive hangar bay. Roadie Wan looked at the starboard display as they descended past the ground surface into the cavernous bay. The remains of a statue of a woman lay broken on the ground near the door, holding what appeared to be a replica of a torch.

"I sense the presence of something I haven't felt since....." Road Guy ran switfly down from his head and disappeared into the folds of his tunic.

The Chucktown jolted to a halt. The light outside slowly disappeared as the massive hangar bay doors closed above them. Yellow alarm lights spun outside, and a PA system broadcast to them in English: "PLEASE DISEMBARK IN AN ORDERLY FASHION WITH YOUR HANDS RAISED ABOVE YOUR HEADS. ANYONE WHO CARRIES A WEAPON OR ATTEMPTS TO RESIST WILL BE KILLED."

 

[Dleg]

Fueled by pharmaceutical courage, Captain sschell led a small delegation out of the bottom hatch of the Chucktown, to negotiate surrender with the Pirate Planet. The PA system continued to repeat its instructions the whole time, as sschell, Supe, Roadie-Wan, Benbones, and Frazil walked across the massive empty space of the hangar, blinded by the floodlights that lit the ship. No pirates, no aliens, no one at all was visible in the hangar, except for them.

Sschell paused to look around. "Where do we go?" The PA announcement reverberated through the hangar, but did not say anything about where to go.

"There?" Frazil pointed at a small door in the distance, which opened briefly to reveal a lighted passageway, and someone - or some thing - moving toward them.

"Yes. There." sschell resumed the march, veering slightly to head toward the now-closed door. The glare of the floodlights prevented them from seeing who or what might have entered the hangar.

 

[Dleg]

They walked for what seemed like a half mile, until suddenly a man appeared before them, wearing what looked like a police uniform, and carrying a clipboard and a small folding table, which he promptly assembled, and in a polite, yet firm tone, said "please sign here," as he set down the clipboard.

"What is that?" Asked sschell, approaching the table.

"Vessel quarantine papers, sir. Kindly sign there at the bottom," the man pointed with his finger to the spot, "right there." He then stood back, at attention.

"Can I read it first?" Asked sschell.

"Certainly, sir." The policeman stayed at attention.

sschell read the form for a while. Benbones grew impatient. "Dammit, sschell, what are their terms?!"

"It's just a receipt for the ship, stating that we agree to place it in quarantine while it is fumigated and examined for contraband." sschell looked back at the policeman. "What about the terms of our surrender, sir?"

The policeman raised an eyebrow. "Surrender? I wouldn't know anything about that, sir. I am a Customs officer only."

sschell paused and thought. "Well, what about my crew?"

"Your crew is not required to stay for the quarantine inspection, in fact, sir, they are not allowed to stay during the fumigation, for their safety." The Customs Officer remained at attention.

"Where" sschell hesitated again, "where do we go from here?"

"Immigration, sir. Right through that door over there." The officer turned slightly and gestured to where he had come from. "Sir, if you don't mind, you need to sign this form so we can get started."

sschell held the pen and looked at Roadie-Wan, who just shrugged. :dunno: "Okay." He signed the document and handed the clipboard and pen back to the officer, who folded the table under his arm and walked briskly away.

 

[Dleg]

One hour later, the entire 3,000 person crew of the GSS Chucktown was lined up inside the massive, carpeted Immigration room off the side passageway of the hangar. Sschell and the officers stood at the front of the line in their yellow and blue command jerseys. Roadwreck stood with them. There was close to 100 immigration booths, but no immigration officers were present. The Girl From Ipanema played softly from speakers mounted inside the ceiling.

Sschell and Roadie-Wan stood at the head of the line and quietly discussed the signage and confusing, roped passages leading to the booths.

"But dude, it says "Crew". We're crew."

"Sschell, I don't think that's what they mean by "crew". I think we should probably be lined up behind the "Aliens" sign." Roadie-Wan responded.

"Dude! We're not aliens! We're humans!"

"I don't think that's what they mean, sschell..."

A door opened at the far side of the immigration room, and a dozen uniformed immigration officers walked in and took seats at various booths. Two took their places at the booths maked for "crew", nine at the booths marked for "citizens with passports", and one at the "aliens" booth.

"Next, please!" Called the immigration officer seated at the Aliens booth.

"Shit! This is going to take forever!" griped Benbones.

 

[Dleg]

sschell stepped forward to the counter and faced the Immigration Officer.

"Passport please." The officer was writing something down, and did not look up.

"What?"

The officer looked up, annoyed. "Passport! Passa-Porte? Papers? Come on! I've got thousands of you to process, don't make me taze you, bro!"

sschell pulled out his Spacefleet ID card. "Will this do?"

The officer took the card from him and examined it, and laughed. "Nice! You must be in town for the Trekkie convention! Dumbass! You need to be over there in the Citizens line!" The Officer handed the ID back to him, and returned to his paperwork. "Next!"

 

[Dleg]

sschell looked back at the line of officers and crew and shrugged, gesturing for them to follow him over to the immigration booths marked "citizens".

"Let me go first this time." Roadie-Wan said, brushing sschell aside and choosing the lone female immigration officer. Road Guy peeked cautiously from inside a fold in Roadie-Wan's hood.

"Ahem." The female immigration officer looked up from her crossword. Roadie-Wan smiled and waved at her, but his smile faded when he saw the harsh look on her face. "Good afternoon, ma'am! I must say, that's a lovely rat tail you have in your hair there! I am a particular fan of the rat tail, see mine is here, and I have these lovely beads that I-"

"Sir! I'm the one asking the questions here sir, if you don't mind!" she said, dripping with hostility and sarcasm. "So would you please shut the fudge up?!"

"Oh, uh, yes. Sorry." The smile left Roadie-Wan's face completely. Road Guy disapeared into the hood.

"What's your business here?"

"Ummmm...." Roadie-Wan thought for a moment. "Vacation?"

"Where will you be staying?"

"Oh, uh, the hotel!"

"What hotel, sir?"

Fudge this, Roadie-Wan thought. "You don't need to ask me any more questions. We are free to go." He waved his hands in the air in front of the immigration officer's face.

"I don't need to ask you any more questions. You are free to go."

"Thank you!" Roadie-Wan smiled again and walked through the immigration booth aisle, casting a quick backwards wink and thumbs-up to sschell and the crew. When he turned to face his direction of travel again he suddenly stopped. "Oh shit!"

 

[Dleg]

Two customs officers with drug-sniffer dogs stood at both sides of the exit aisle.

"Please don't be alarmed, sir! These are highly disciplined narcotics K-9 officers, they won't harm you."

"Unless, of course, you are carrying any drugs or other contraband" chuckled the other other officer.

Roadie-Wan gulped and looked back. "I- I- I think I forgot something back there..." he began walking backwards.

"Sir! You cannot go back through the immigration line! Sir! Halt!"

sschell had already entered the immigration aisle and had placed his Spacefleet ID card on the counter in front of the rat-tailed officer. "What's the problem, Roadie-Wan?"

"Dogs, sschell. Dogs!"

sschell's face suddenly went white, and his hand shot involuntarily to his side pocket, where it felt the bulge of the bong.

"Oh, shit!"

 

[Dleg]

The drug dogs had begun barking. "Sir! Turn around and place your hands up!" The customs officers let the dogs move up to where Roadie-Wan was now standing with his hands in the air. Several other customs and immigration officers began to walk toward the commotion, hands on their holstered weapons.

The dogs sniffed all around Roadie-Wan's robes, and then began barking and wagging their tails after finding their target. One of the customs officers who had rushed over began patting Roadie-Wan, and quickly found the ornate golden bowl of Wookie Wowie in his pocket.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" Said the overweight, red-faced officer, with a smile of obvious satisfaction on his face. "I'll just be keeping that, now!"

The K-9 officers pulled the dogs back and motioned Roadie-Wan to exit the immigration aisle.

"Wha- What?! I'm free to go?" Roadie-Wan, still terrified, was dumbfounded.

"Sir! You are not allowed to bring foreign agricultural products with you. We are required to confiscate such contraband and destroy it. You may not have it back, sir. Move along!"

Roadie-Wan walked past the officers with some hesitation. Behind him, sschell had already removed the bong and had handed it over to the red-faced officer. But the dogs continued barking, and strained at their leashes, attempting to follow Roadie-Wan.

"Sir! Please stop! We need to check you again!"

 

[Dleg]

The red-faced customs officer again patted Roadie-Wan down, this time finding what appeared to be a large Swiss Army knife. He handled it curiously. "Sir, what is this?"

Roadie-Wan stopped himself from grabbing it back. It was his most prized possession. "Careful there! That's my Swiss Army Sabre! I built that myself at Jedi camp when I was twelve! It has no agricultural content, now, please, give it back!"

The red faced officer scoffed. "Fudgin' nerd. Seriously, what does this thing do?" He handed it back to Roadie-Wan.

"Here, let me show you." Roadie-Wan began explaining the workings of his Swiss Army Sabre, taking pleasure in the interest of the Customs officer. "This here is the super Jedi magnifying lens. Watch this!" Roadie-Wan extracted a small lens from the tool, and focused the pale flourescent light of the immgration room onto the laminate desk-top next to the officer. A small line of smoke began to rise. "See that? It's fifty times more efficient than an ordinary glass maginfying lens. You should see what this can do in the light of an Alderan-class star!" Roadie-Wan chuckled impressively.

The customs officer laughed. "Jebus Christ! What's that thing?" He pointed to a helix-shaped object on the other side of the tool. "A wine bottle opener?"

"Why, yes! You've seen one of these before?" Roadie-Wan was amazed.

"Yeah." Responded the officer, who had grown tired of this. "OK, that's enough, Obie-Wan"

"It's Roadie-Wan, actually"

"Whatever. Move along. I need to check Captain Kirk now"

"Captain sschell, actually"

"Seriously. Shut the fudge up."

But the dogs started barking at Roadie-Wan, again.

 

[Dleg]

"Aw, Jebus! Now what, Obie-Wan?" The red faced customs officer motioned to the K-9 officers to approach. "Why don't you just hand it over, whatever it is. You're not leaving until we collect all your contraband."

Road Guy burrowed into the hood even deeper, causing to Roadie-Wan to wiggle involuntarily as he tickled his neck.

"Hey, ow!" Roadie-Wan adusted his tunic. "I mean, I don't have any contraband, I may go now." Roadie-Wan waved his hand in front of the officer's face.

"He doesn't have any contraband, he may - hey, wait a minute, why are the dogs barking?! Why am I even beginning to fall for your Star Wars bullshit, you fudging little geek!? Hands up!" The red-faced officer reached up and began patting down Roadie-Wan's hood. "Oh, I see! What the fudge do we have here?" He got hold of the wriggling Road Guy through the folds of the tunic's hood. "We got ourselves an entity here, boys!"

"ENTITY MY ASS, MUTHA FUDGA!" Road Guy leapt from the hood and tore off the Customs Officer's head, unleashing a shower of blood. Roadie-Wan fell the the floor and covered his head. Loud alarm sirens sounded and blast doors came crashing down on all the exits of the Immigration Room. Road Guy hopped from Customs Officer to Customs Officer, tearing off heads and cursing profusely. "YOU DONE UNLEASHED THE FURY OF THE GERBIL KING, MUTHA FUDGAS!!!"

 

[Dleg]

Automated stun-gun mounts lowered swiftly from the ceiling, and within seconds had locked on to the rampaging Gerbil. Three of them fired their stun beams almost simultaneously, sending the blood-soaked Road Guy to the floor, mid-flight between the last decapitated Customs Officer and the rat-tailed immigration woman, who recovered quickly and shouted "It's down!"

A squad of officers wearing padded, ventilated isolation suits rushed out of a door behind the immigration booths, and quickly locked Road guy away in a heavy, ventilated metal box, and carried him out of the room.

Roadie-Wan and sschell stood slowly, wiping the blood from their faces in shock at the ferocity and horror of what had just happened. Over 12 decapitated Customs Officers and two drug dogs littered the floor around them, still twitching and bleeding.

Another door opened, and a man in a short-sleeve shirt and tie walked out, surveyed the scene, then put his hands on his hips and said, sternly, "Someone's gonna have to pay for this shit. You there!"

Roadie-Wan looked around behind himself, then mouthed "me?"

"Yes, you! And Captain sschell, and Commander Supe! Get over here now!"

 

[Dleg]

Sschell, Supe, and Roadwreck followed the managerial looking man sheepishly into his office across from the row of Immigration booths. Another manager entered, followed by a crew of janitors. "Get those bodies to the incinerator! And you there! Call the carpet cleaners!" The man was clearly irritated by this turn of events. He looked angrily at the Immigration officers, still seated in their booths in shock, and shouted. "What the fudge are you waiting for! Get the rest of these people processed! Pronto!" And with that, he turned around.

Benbones could take it no longer. "Excuse me, sir! Sir! I am talking to you!" The man turned around. "Are you just going to let these people die?"

"Their fudging heads are torn off! Don't waste my time!" He turned and continued walking back to his office.

"Barbarians!" Benbones was fuming now. "Their bodies are still warm! If you aren't going to give them medical attention, then at least let my team re-attach their heads!"

The manager laughed. "Whatever!" And then he returned to his office, with a gesture that Benbones took to mean approval.

"Come on, team, lets get to those bodies. You there!" An Immigration Officer pointed to himself and looked around. "Yes, you! Give us a hand matching heads to bodies! The last thing I need is a malpractice suit on a foreign planet for mixing up heads. Been there, done that!"

 

[Dleg]

The Immigration Officer walked gingerly over to where Benbones and his team were setting up their tools.

"Well, come on, man! Don't be squeemish! It's just blood! Give me a head and body!"

The Immigration Officer covered his mouth and looked. "Oh God! There, that's Mike!" He pointed to a head, and one of Benbone's nurses picked it up and carried it over to another Nurse who was kneeling beside a body with a name tag that identified it as "Mike". "You guy's are able to reattach heads now?"

"Of course! This is first year medical school stuff! They even teach this in Nursing programs now!" Benbones said, crossly. "Come on, man! Don't stop now! We don't have much time before they begin neurodegeneration!"

A couple more Immigration Officers came over to help match bodies and heads.

"You there! Rat tail! Help me with this one" The rat-tailed immigration woman lifted a bloody head and knelt beside Benbones and one of the nurses. "Just press his head onto his neck stump there..." the head squished wetly into place. "Not that way! Are you insane?! That's backwards! There you go!" Benbones then held a small instrument up to the jagged neck seam and pressed a button. A beam of light shot into the wound, and a pungent smoke rose as he ran the instrument around the periphery of the neck, reattaching the head. Meanwhile, the nurse inserted an IV and bag into the man's arm.

"I need some water over here! Anyone! Go get some water from the cooler over there!" The nurse called. "Instant blood," she explained to rat-tail. Another officer arrived with a bottle of water, which the nurse then poured into the bag and then handed it to rat-tail. "Here, hold this!"

The man suddenly sputtered and coughed up some blood, and took a deep, ragged breath. "This one will be OK. Let's get to the next one!" Benbones and the nurse moved their equipment rapidly to the next head-body combination. Rat tail girl looked on in amazement, then looked down at the recently re-attached head.

"What the fudge just happened to me?! Why does my neck hurt?"

 

[Dleg]

The necktied manager thrust a clipboard across his desk toward sschell, Supe, and Roadie-Wan. "Here. This is my estimate of your ship's value. Sign at the bottom."

Sschell looked at the bottom line - $30.5 Trillion Dollars - and asked "What is this? I don't understand? I thought we were surrendering our ship to your government?"

"Government?! We don't have a fudging government here! This isn't one of your Socialist Slave States!" The man practically spit the words out. "This is my estimate of the worth of your starship, the GSS Chucktown. Wilheldburton Holdings, Incorporated, has acquired your ship and will now pay you in direct relation to its fair market value!" He said, angrily, and added "minus witholdings for immigration and customs clearance, security force expenses, cleaning, and of course the employees that your alien killed."

The trio stared blankly back at the man. Roadie-Wan spoke next. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. My name is Master Roadwreck, Official Ambassador of the Jedi Council. This is Captain James T. Sschell, and Commander William Supe." Roadie-Wan bowed politely. Sschell and Supe held their hands out in greeting.

The manager softened a bit, and reached into his desk drawer and pulled out three business cards. "I'm sorry. This has been a shitty day. You're not my first acquisition of the day, you know." He handed his cards across the table. "Chaz McMurtry, Deputy Assistant Acquisitions Manager, Wilheldburton Transportation Industries, Port of New Yorkington sub-branch."

Supe looked at the card. His name was printed as "Chaz 'Speedy' 'Ox' McMurtry". "Is your nickname 'Speedy' or 'Ox'?"

The manager smiled, embarassed, "Actually both. But, that's really just for my friends."

"Well, we're your friends, Speedy Ox" Roadie-Wan smiled as he waved his hands in front of Speedy Ox's face.

 

[Dleg]

"Heh,heh. Yeah. You guys are awesome!" Speedy smiled and took the clipboard back and began erasing. "Here's what I can do for you. Thirty Five Trillion, and we'll waive the death costs. Most of those guys were working Customs to pay back the company for bad loans anyway, and half of them were still on probation and weren't yet eligible for restitution benefits." Speedy slid the clipboard back toward sschell.

"Actually, Speedy Ox, what we really want is our ship back," smiled Roadie-Wan, once again waving his hand across the space in front of Speedy's face.

Speedy smiled and laughed again. "Okay, okay. I understand. We can certainly do that for you." He removed the sheet from the clipboard and inserted a different form, and began writing. "I'll give you the full thirty five on the trade in. Heh heh, just don't be telling my boss about that one, okay?" He smiled insanely at Roadie Wan. "That leaves you on the hook for just fifteen. We take Mastercard and Visa, and we also accept purchase orders." He slid the clipboard across the table again and twirled his tie. "Heh heh!"

Roadie-Wan was no longer smiling. He waved his hand in front of Speedy's face again. "We don't have that kind of money. We will be taking our ship back for free. It is our ship, this was all a big misunderstanding."

Speedy stared blankly back at Roadie-Wan, saying nothing for a moment. "Oh.... I see. Well, we do have payment plans available to fit a variety of budgets."

Roadie-Wan sat back into his chair, letting out a hard sigh of exasperation. sschell spoke up next. "What kind of payment plans?"

 

[Dleg]

"Okay everybody! Quiet, please!" Captain sschell addressed the 3,000 person crew, who were milling about in the holding room just beyond the Immigration booths. "I have a proposition for you!" The crew slowly quieted down to listen. "We can take our ship and leave this planet, but only if we first agree to work for the Pirate Planet for a period of two years, in order to pay our debt."

"What debt!" members of the ship's crew began murmuring loudly and shouting objections. "That's fudging bullshit!" "It's OUR ship!" "Fudge these pirates!"

"Shut your filthy holes and listen to the Captain!" Supe yelled, standing next to sschell with Roadie-Wan.

"Now, now, everybody stay calm!" sschell continued, "we were captured by the pirates, fair and square. This is actually a pretty good deal!"

The crew murmured loudly again. "What's the deal!" "Fudge you, sschell!" "Traitor!"

"It's pretty simple, really!" sschell wrung his hands as he spoke. "All we have to do is sign a two-year contract with the Acquisitions Department of Wilheldburton Holdings, Incorporated."

"Acquisitions?" "You mean we're going to be pirates!?" "Booooooo!"

Speedy Ox sauntered up beside sschell, smiling and waving, carrying a thick stack of papers under one arm.

"Guys, please! Wilheldburton is actually a pretty good company! I've negotiated a pretty decent healthcare package along with the deal, and two weeks unpaid vacation per year!"

"Boooooo!" "You suck!" "I want to hear what XO Supe thinks!"

Supe stepped forward. "This is entirely voluntary! Personally, I am not signing! I do not want to violate my Spacefleet Oath! I have been assured that any member of the crew who chooses not to sign, may stay as a free man here on ..." Supe looked over at Speedy Ox and asked a question, then returned to the crew. "Earth!"

 

[Dleg]

The murmuring continued for a while. Eventually, the crew quieted down a bit, and Chief Engineer Bigray stepped forward and spoke. "Sir, the crew would like to know what, if any, accommodations will be made for safe return to Croissant for crew members who wish to decline?"

sschell cleared his throat and resumed the hand-wringing. "Um, actually, there will be no return to Croissant. Anyone who stays behind will stay here on ... Err- rath."

The crew erupted into shouting. Bigray motioned for them to quite down. "What accommodations will be made for those that stay here on this planet, then?"

"None. Anyone who stays behind will become a resident of ... Errath-" Speedy Ox nudged sschell and whispered into his ear. "Earth, I mean, with all the freedoms and responsibilities of every other ... Earth resident. Any questions?" he added, hastily.

The crew began shouting again, and only stopped after Bigray shouted back at them. "Sir, please, the crew respectfully reminds you that these so-called accommodations violate the Geonosis Convention! Every member of the crew is entitled to a prompt return to his or her planet of origin, or Croissant, whichever is nearer!" The crew shouted in agreement.

Speedy Ox stepped forward, an angry expression on his face, and retrieved a gun-like object from his pocket. He pointed it toward the crew and pulled the trigger, and a concentrated low-frequency sound beam momentarily stunned them by causing their lungs to forcibly exhale. The crew dropped to the floor in unison.

"THERE WILL BE NO ENTITLEMENTS!!!" he spat, breathing heavily and looking wildly about at the stricken crew.

He pocketed the sound gun and smiled again. "I will now distribute contracts to serve in the Acquisitions Department, as members of the crew of the WHS Chucktown. Those who do not wish to join your Captain in honorable service to the Corporation, max exit out of the main doors." Two Immigration officers opened a wide set of double doors.

 

[Dleg]

The crew rushed Speedy Ox, eager to sign on, many muttering that there was no way in hell they would stay back on such a barren planet to be left to their own devices.

"WAIT!!!" Lt. Commander Frazil shouted, stopping everyone in their tracks. "What happened to King Road Guy?"

sshell again began wringing his hands, and cleared his throat. "Road Guy was taken by another corporation, um..." he looked at Speedy Ox, who handed him a card. "Reverse Engineering Partners, Ltd. A wholly-owned subsidiary of.... Wilheldburton Holdings, Inc."

"Does he get the same choice we are getting?" Frazil asked, but the rest of the crew did not care, and crowded around Speedy Ox, blocking Frazil from speaking any further with sschell. She pushed her way toward the open double doors. Supe, Roadie-Wan, and Benbones were the only ones there.