So what happens in the mafia thread?

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It's a lemon party, lemme tell ya.
FIFY
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@Road Guy was updating the site one evening when a shiver went down their spine.  Obviously, the A/C was off, so what could be the cause?  Perturbed, they left their desk, leaving behind a semi-functioning EB.com they had been working on, and began to check for possible sources down the hall.  The curled-up dog on the floor gave a gentle woof, as if in warning, but quickly calmed when they were shushed absentmindedly in response.

Plodding down the stairs, making sure to skip over the one that seemed to creak louder after 10PM, they approached the back door...which was oddly open.  The temperature of the air steadily increased as the approached, chasing off the initial chill but allowing a thick ball of dread to settle in their stomach.  A bead of sweat slowly tracked the valley of their spine as they reached the door jam, uncertain of reaching out to grab the knob that seemed oddly farther than usual.

Swallowing against the premonition, they slowly leaned past the door so they could check the backyard.  

A well-trimmed yard, enclosed by a fence, met their gaze.  The same thing they would have seen during the day was now highlighted by darker textures and a sliver of moonlight.  No person lurking in the shadows.  No large animal prepared to pounce.  Absolutely nothing to tear @Road Guy from their EB.com duties.

With a slam, the door closed, crunching the hand that had been resting on the door jam.  The bones shredded the delicate tissue, pressing against the thin skin of the back of their hand as if to push out, one finger already purpling at an alarming rate.  Before they were able to do more than cradle the injured limb to their chest, a heavy weight rammed into their side, causing them to roll off the deck and into the grass that had seemed so innocent only moments before.

"That's what you get for not fixing the reaction button," a voice said ominously, before a metal bat came into view with a sudden rush.  When the ringing faded slightly, @Road Guy had the disconcerting view of both their fence and their yard in a strange disjointed arrangement.  It's only when they felt pressure against their ear that they realized with horror that one eyeball had been forced from their skull and was now wetly resting on the cheek, pointed down at the grass.  Rolling over to vomit into the well-tended grass, they didn't see the second swing of the bat, only felt a sharp pop of pressure as the back of their skull was scattered across the backyard.

@Road Guy was a normal townie.

@SaltySteve was mafia.  Mafia wins.

 
@Road Guy was updating the site one evening when a shiver went down their spine.  Obviously, the A/C was off, so what could be the cause?  Perturbed, they left their desk, leaving behind a semi-functioning EB.com they had been working on, and began to check for possible sources down the hall.  The curled-up dog on the floor gave a gentle woof, as if in warning, but quickly calmed when they were shushed absentmindedly in response.

Plodding down the stairs, making sure to skip over the one that seemed to creak louder after 10PM, they approached the back door...which was oddly open.  The temperature of the air steadily increased as the approached, chasing off the initial chill but allowing a thick ball of dread to settle in their stomach.  A bead of sweat slowly tracked the valley of their spine as they reached the door jam, uncertain of reaching out to grab the knob that seemed oddly farther than usual.

Swallowing against the premonition, they slowly leaned past the door so they could check the backyard.  

A well-trimmed yard, enclosed by a fence, met their gaze.  The same thing they would have seen during the day was now highlighted by darker textures and a sliver of moonlight.  No person lurking in the shadows.  No large animal prepared to pounce.  Absolutely nothing to tear @Road Guy from their EB.com duties.

With a slam, the door closed, crunching the hand that had been resting on the door jam.  The bones shredded the delicate tissue, pressing against the thin skin of the back of their hand as if to push out, one finger already purpling at an alarming rate.  Before they were able to do more than cradle the injured limb to their chest, a heavy weight rammed into their side, causing them to roll off the deck and into the grass that had seemed so innocent only moments before.

"That's what you get for not fixing the reaction button," a voice said ominously, before a metal bat came into view with a sudden rush.  When the ringing faded slightly, @Road Guy had the disconcerting view of both their fence and their yard in a strange disjointed arrangement.  It's only when they felt pressure against their ear that they realized with horror that one eyeball had been forced from their skull and was now wetly resting on the cheek, pointed down at the grass.  Rolling over to vomit into the well-tended grass, they didn't see the second swing of the bat, only felt a sharp pop of pressure as the back of their skull was scattered across the backyard.

@Road Guy was a normal townie.

@SaltySteve was mafia.  Mafia wins.
LIGHTNING ROUND!!!

(You have nothing to do today, do you? :) )

 
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RG, I'm surprised one of the folks that play mafia hasn't said they could tell you but then they'd have to kill you.

 
I'd just like to state the fact that just because I was Mafia in this universe doesn't mean that I'm mafia in the actual mafia thread.

 
I was super excited to see this thread to try to understand, but now I feel like I understand only 2% better than when I first opened this. 

 
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