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Sparkling hard seltzer?  Have we abandoned whiskey, beer, and vodka?  WTH is this place?
There is a time and place for everything.  I'm a mean drunk when I'm drinking hard stuff, and I wasn't feeling beer this weekend.  I felt like the seltzer was a good compromise for the family reunion.

In all fairness, you can tell your doctor you've been drinking a lot more water.
I was extremely hydrated Saturday.

 
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If you imagine it all as oatmeal raisin, does it make it better?
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