People You Love to Hate

[Wolverine]

Heh-heh-heh... and I STILL have to deal with the person that inspired the thread!

 

[FLBuff PE]

Heh-heh-heh... and I STILL have to deal with the person that inspired the thread!

As I understand it, he's a real Gary Brown.

 

[maryannette]

OK, I'm not a person who normally hates other people, but this person is intolerable. She is a somewhat distant family member, but she has surfaced a lot lately. And the reason she surfaces is to make the universe all about her. She is not a generous person when it comes to giving time, but she will do just enough that she goes and tells everybody how much she has done and that it's all on her - like nobody else does anything. The reality is that she is not generous with her time. She will do a little, but when it's convenient for her and under her conditions.

OK. I feel better now.

 

[Exception Collection]

I have a friend that is transgendered,. She was married pre-transition, but the now ex-wife decided to stay friends but not stay in a relationship with her. They had a child together. My friend is now remarried, to another woman.

Well, my friend's parents are absolute douchebags. They basically disowned her, but remained friendly with the ex-wife. Many years later, when the ex-wife lost her job due to layoffs, they let her move in with them - and treated her like garbage. Between not having a job, not being able to find a new job, and having to deal with those two douchebags, she was driven to drink.

And that's when they struck! Suddenly, there was a custody lawsuit. They argued that the drunk and the transwoman - who had equal custody rights - were not acceptable parents. They saw a judge, and the judge basically laughed them out of court; in part, due to the complaint mentioning that one of the parties was an "abomination before God". But since the child was still in school - a private school paid for by the grandparents - it was decided that the child and the ex-wife would stay in the original state until July, and then move out to CA where my friend now lives.

A week or so later, my friend goes to the school to pick up her son, and the school refuses to release him to her custody. They even call the cops out when she refuses to leave without her son; the cop, rather than researching the situation and acting appropriately, takes the child to family services (or calls them and has them pick him up) - making my friend go down to the central holding facility to pick him up.

So everything's calm, right? No, the suit was still going. Not entirely sure why, something about final custody still needing to be determined at a later date.

Last month, my friend's ex-wife got sick. They took her to a hospital, where an MRI determined that she had a brain tumor next to her brain stem. And then.. they threw her out of the hospital, because she had no insurance. A week or so later, she was dead.

Yesterday, they had the "final" custody hearing, in front of (I believe?) a different judge. This judge listened to the "neutral arbiter" - a woman who couldn't look my friend in the eye, and refused to believe that the school or grandparents could be trying to brainwash the child - as they discussed the situation on both sides. Then they paraded out witnesses from the grandparent's church and the private school they sent the kid to, all of whom lauded the grandparents as wonderful people. Finally, they call up the 9 year old kid, and ask him who he'd rather stay with. The kid looked at the judge and declared that he'd rather stay with his grandparents, because my friend's homosexuality made him "uncomfortable". And so, the judge has now legally separated my friend from her son. The kicker? She gets to pay child support to them.

Her wife had to spend a significant amount of time talking my friend out of killing herself.

And THAT is why my friend's grandparents are people I hate. There are very few people that I truly despise, and they've managed to be put on that list. They've taken their bigotry and applied it to their child, and now they see a chance to "redeem" themselves by ruining their grandchild.

 

[XOXOXO]

I have a friend that is transgendered,. She was married pre-transition, but the now ex-wife decided to stay friends but not stay in a relationship with her. They had a child together. My friend is now remarried, to another woman.
Well, my friend's parents are absolute douchebags. They basically disowned her, but remained friendly with the ex-wife. Many years later, when the ex-wife lost her job due to layoffs, they let her move in with them - and treated her like garbage. Between not having a job, not being able to find a new job, and having to deal with those two douchebags, she was driven to drink.

And that's when they struck! Suddenly, there was a custody lawsuit. They argued that the drunk and the transwoman - who had equal custody rights - were not acceptable parents. They saw a judge, and the judge basically laughed them out of court; in part, due to the complaint mentioning that one of the parties was an "abomination before God". But since the child was still in school - a private school paid for by the grandparents - it was decided that the child and the ex-wife would stay in the original state until July, and then move out to CA where my friend now lives.

A week or so later, my friend goes to the school to pick up her son, and the school refuses to release him to her custody. They even call the cops out when she refuses to leave without her son; the cop, rather than researching the situation and acting appropriately, takes the child to family services (or calls them and has them pick him up) - making my friend go down to the central holding facility to pick him up.

So everything's calm, right? No, the suit was still going. Not entirely sure why, something about final custody still needing to be determined at a later date.

Last month, my friend's ex-wife got sick. They took her to a hospital, where an MRI determined that she had a brain tumor next to her brain stem. And then.. they threw her out of the hospital, because she had no insurance. A week or so later, she was dead.

Yesterday, they had the "final" custody hearing, in front of (I believe?) a different judge. This judge listened to the "neutral arbiter" - a woman who couldn't look my friend in the eye, and refused to believe that the school or grandparents could be trying to brainwash the child - as they discussed the situation on both sides. Then they paraded out witnesses from the grandparent's church and the private school they sent the kid to, all of whom lauded the grandparents as wonderful people. Finally, they call up the 9 year old kid, and ask him who he'd rather stay with. The kid looked at the judge and declared that he'd rather stay with his grandparents, because my friend's homosexuality made him "uncomfortable". And so, the judge has now legally separated my friend from her son. The kicker? She gets to pay child support to them.

Her wife had to spend a significant amount of time talking my friend out of killing herself.

And THAT is why my friend's grandparents are people I hate. There are very few people that I truly despise, and they've managed to be put on that list. They've taken their bigotry and applied it to their child, and now they see a chance to "redeem" themselves by ruining their grandchild.

My goodness. And I thought I had stories to share (and I do)...but that certainly is unbelievable. I hope someday that child will remember their parent...somewhere in small nooks and crannies, we always remember who was good to us. My father is a raging alcoholic. But I love him, because he was the best dad HE was capable of being (and that wasn't so great). But I love him, and nothing could ever change that.

Someone that I hate? I don't necessarily hate anyone...I mostly wish they'd mysteriously fall off the planet. No harm, no foul.

 

[Exception Collection]

My goodness. And I thought I had stories to share (and I do)...but that certainly is unbelievable. I hope someday that child will remember their parent...somewhere in small nooks and crannies, we always remember who was good to us. My father is a raging alcoholic. But I love him, because he was the best dad HE was capable of being (and that wasn't so great). But I love him, and nothing could ever change that.
Someone that I hate? I don't necessarily hate anyone...I mostly wish they'd mysteriously fall off the planet. No harm, no foul.

The sad thing is, this happens regularly. I have another friend that hasn't seen her three kids in over a year because her wife couldn't accept her, and took everything in the divorce because the judge was a bigoted dbag. She's now attending seminary in PA.

 

[XOXOXO]

My goodness. And I thought I had stories to share (and I do)...but that certainly is unbelievable. I hope someday that child will remember their parent...somewhere in small nooks and crannies, we always remember who was good to us. My father is a raging alcoholic. But I love him, because he was the best dad HE was capable of being (and that wasn't so great). But I love him, and nothing could ever change that.
Someone that I hate? I don't necessarily hate anyone...I mostly wish they'd mysteriously fall off the planet. No harm, no foul.

The sad thing is, this happens regularly. I have another friend that hasn't seen her three kids in over a year because her wife couldn't accept her, and took everything in the divorce because the judge was a bigoted dbag. She's now attending seminary in PA.

There are a lot of dbags in the world, aren't there?

 

[Guest]

OK. I feel better now.

I am glad Mary - feeling better IS good.

And THAT is why my friend's grandparents are people I hate. There are very few people that I truly despise, and they've managed to be put on that list. They've taken their bigotry and applied it to their child, and now they see a chance to "redeem" themselves by ruining their grandchild.

That's an awful story. Any time there is conflict with children involved, I think they invariably end up with the worst of it.

My goodness. And I thought I had stories to share (and I do)...but that certainly is unbelievable. I hope someday that child will remember their parent...somewhere in small nooks and crannies, we always remember who was good to us. My father is a raging alcoholic. But I love him, because he was the best dad HE was capable of being (and that wasn't so great). But I love him, and nothing could ever change that.

One of the wisest things someone ever told me was that people live up to their potential ... and in many cases, there just isn't much potential to work with. Not that it is a bad thing - it is just important to recognize that not everyone has the ability to rise to the occasion.

Once I accepted the wisdom in the words - life became a lot easier because you learn to accept the things that you cannot change.

JR

 

[Road Guy]

I have a friend that is transgendered,. She was married pre-transition, but the now ex-wife decided to stay friends but not stay in a relationship with her. They had a child together. My friend is now remarried, to another woman.

I think most people could agree that can be very confusing to a child, shit I have read it 3 times and still dont understand it..

So a Man and Woman get married have a child.

Man becomes a woman and gets divorced.

New Woman marries another woman.

I would start drinking too...

 

[NCcarguy]

Did I read that correct??? A Man became a woman to become a lesbian? Yea...I can see where he/she may have issues with family and friends. I wouldn't HATE someone like that, but I certainly would be uncomfortable around him/her.

I hate people that are condescending. I feel like I've posted that before in this topic now that I type that.....

 

[knight1fox3]

I have a friend that is transgendered,. She was married pre-transition, but the now ex-wife decided to stay friends but not stay in a relationship with her. They had a child together. My friend is now remarried, to another woman.

I think most people could agree that can be very confusing to a child, shit I have read it 3 times and still dont understand it..

So a Man and Woman get married have a child.

Man becomes a woman and gets divorced.

New Woman marries another woman.

I would start drinking too...

:Locolaugh: LOL!!! Agreed.

 

[Dark Knight]

So a Man and Woman get married have a child.Man becomes a woman and gets divorced.

New Woman marries another woman.

I would start drinking too...

Glad you brought this because I am as lost as you are/were.

Why the heck would a man go thru all this process to become a woman and then marries another woman? Unless the woman is not really a woman and...Know what? Forget it. Never mind. I do not drink RG but the first three rounds are on me.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

My biological father is transgendered. She grew up as a man, got married to my mom, had 3 kids (I'm the oldest), then about 6 months after my son was born revealed that he is going through the drug therapy to begin the process to become a woman.

I have to admit as the child of a transgendered person, it's difficult. Very difficult. It's been almost 6 years since everything was revealed and I still don't know how to introduce her to others. Within family circles, we refer to her as Maddy (combined Mom and Daddy), so that's what I introduce her as. Not as my mom, or my dad, but as Maddy. When my mom is there too, it's that much more difficult.

I think the hardest part of the whole process was dealing with the transition, because I lived the first 25 years of my life with a dad. I still see my dad everytime I see her. The other part that makes it difficult is as a person goes through the change, they basically go through the "growing up" mental stages, especially if they go through the process later in life. Once they reveal who they want to be, they want to show off to everyone that knew them before how much everyone "not in the know" doesn't realize who they used to be (ie, "see, they just called me Ma'am"). I've always been a "what happens in your bedroom is your business" person, so when Maddy started showing off how much of a woman she'd become, it took about a year before I snapped and had to tell her that I wasn't comfortable around her, how I hated her showing off, and how much pain I saw my mom go through (btw, they're still married).

I can definately see how others can be uncomfortable around something like this, because I'm going through it too. The only thing that really kept me going was that my love for Maddy was for the person. As a person she is changed, but only changed in the sense that she is now free to live her life the way she wants to, and because of that has become a much more open and better person.

I just wanted to add my perspective.

 

[Exception Collection]

So a Man and Woman get married have a child.Man becomes a woman and gets divorced.

New Woman marries another woman.

I would start drinking too...

Glad you brought this because I am as lost as you are/were.

Why the heck would a man go thru all this process to become a woman and then marries another woman? Unless the woman is not really a woman and...Know what? Forget it. Never mind. I do not drink RG but the first three rounds are on me.

Sex, Gender and Sexuality are all completely different things. One can be physically male and mentally female and prefer women; that would make them straight pre-transition, gay post-transition.

One of my mother's comments, early on, was that "at least I didn't tell her I was gay". My brother and I looked at each other and then he pointed out that "Yes she is, she's a lesbian".

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Being transgendered is not about what you find attractive in a partner, it's about who you are. Only you can know who you want to be and how you live your life. If a guy wants to become a woman and marry a woman, all the power to them. I can only hope that people do not think less of them for doing it.

 

[Exception Collection]

My biological father is transgendered. She grew up as a man, got married to my mom, had 3 kids (I'm the oldest), then about 6 months after my son was born revealed that he is going through the drug therapy to begin the process to become a woman.
I have to admit as the child of a transgendered person, it's difficult. Very difficult. It's been almost 6 years since everything was revealed and I still don't know how to introduce her to others. Within family circles, we refer to her as Maddy (combined Mom and Daddy), so that's what I introduce her as. Not as my mom, or my dad, but as Maddy. When my mom is there too, it's that much more difficult.

I think the hardest part of the whole process was dealing with the transition, because I lived the first 25 years of my life with a dad. I still see my dad everytime I see her. The other part that makes it difficult is as a person goes through the change, they basically go through the "growing up" mental stages, especially if they go through the process later in life. Once they reveal who they want to be, they want to show off to everyone that knew them before how much everyone "not in the know" doesn't realize who they used to be (ie, "see, they just called me Ma'am"). I've always been a "what happens in your bedroom is your business" person, so when Maddy started showing off how much of a woman she'd become, it took about a year before I snapped and had to tell her that I wasn't comfortable around her, how I hated her showing off, and how much pain I saw my mom go through (btw, they're still married).

I can definately see how others can be uncomfortable around something like this, because I'm going through it too. The only thing that really kept me going was that my love for Maddy was for the person. As a person she is changed, but only changed in the sense that she is now free to live her life the way she wants to, and because of that has become a much more open and better person.

I just wanted to add my perspective.

Thanks for adding that! Other than (still minor) children of friends, I don't know anyone that has gone through the transition from that perspective.

As someone still going through that "look at me I'm a woman" phase of my life, it's not so much showing off as being happy of acceptance. I still get a bit of an emotional boost from every ma'am I hear. And yes, it is effectively a second puberty (once was enough, thanks!) - with almost all of the associated emotional struggles.

I don't have kids (yet), so that is one aspect I haven't had to deal with directly.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

One thing that is a little easier to deal with is how my kids react. My son was too young to know Maddy as anything else when she went through her reveal, and my daughter was born afterwards. They both know Maddy as the person Maddy wanted to be, they also know that she is with Grams (my mom). All the other grandkids (my brother has 3 little ones ages 4 and under, and my sister adopted a 5yr old son), only know Maddy as Maddy.

I still laugh when my kids tell their friends at school that they have 3 grandmothers.

 

[civengPE]

Being transgendered is not about what you find attractive in a partner, it's about who you are. Only you can know who you want to be and how you live your life. If a guy wants to become a woman and marry a woman, all the power to them. I can only hope that people do not think less of them for doing it.

Ok... But do you really have to cut off your wang to be happy? I guess I never knew that this stuff happened in real life.

 

[Exception Collection]

Ok... But do you really have to cut off your wang to be happy? I guess I never knew that this stuff happened in real life.

First, not exactly cutting it off; it's a lot more complicated both as a process and as a surgery than that.

Second, not all transgendered people have the surgery. For those that are on hormones, it's safer to have surgery. See the spoiler for why.

Spoiler

The hormone regimen for a MtF transwoman comes in two parts; one eliminates testosterone, the other provides estrogen. The one that eliminates testosterone is somewhat toxic to the kidneys and liver, and is a blood thinner as well. As a result, the less time we can be on it, the better it is for our long-term health. Removing just the testicles (Orchiectomy) eliminates the naturally occurring testosterone, but has other side effects. The ideal is to have the full surgery performed all at the same time.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Being transgendered is not about what you find attractive in a partner, it's about who you are. Only you can know who you want to be and how you live your life. If a guy wants to become a woman and marry a woman, all the power to them. I can only hope that people do not think less of them for doing it.

Ok... But do you really have to cut off your wang to be happy? I guess I never knew that this stuff happened in real life.

To add to what Karen S said, it's ALOT more complicated. Karen described the physical aspect, but there's an emotional/mental and a self-image/confidence part. I think of it along the lines of having a breast augmentation. My wife had hers enhanced not because I told her to, or because there was some physical need. She did it because she did not like the way she looked in the mirror (with or without clothes). She honestly did not feel attractive, and it caused a certain level of depression (along the lines of "I don't like how I look, so I know you don't like how I look, so I will completely cover myself up so no one can see me ever again"). She got tired of dealing with it and talked with her doctor and had it done.

So in the case of my wife (to rephrase your question): yes, she had to have her boobs cut open and large sacks of silicone gel jammed inside to be happy.