How do you

[Guest]

Boys are gross

I think I am going to have to agree with you on this one ....

I had no idea what an ookie cookie was or soggy biscuit. Now I wish I could purge that from my memory .. :bawling:

I am surprised others haven't noticed the same behavior and set-up a remote webcam/broadcast for South Pacific Playboys(girls). Might be a way to make up for that lack of salary. I am not sayin' ... just sayin' ...

JR

 

[Chucktown PE]

a word of advice... don't google that one at work! :Locolaugh:

If you googled it then please share the results, inquiring minds want to know.

 

[DVINNY]

Leave an anonymous sign taped to the door? Something classy like: "We appreciate your visit. Thank you for not cumming."

but seriously, you could have offered him a hand....hahahaha

send an email to everone in the office and attach some sort of office policy memo that calls out the company jerking off policy.

Charge in and yell in your best John Wayne voice, "Fill your hands you sonsabitches!!!"

Muster up everyone in the office you can actually stuff into the bathroom, and when he opens the stall door, yell "surprise!"

ALL GREAT IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To this day, I am amazed at seemingly how many guys must get off on smearing giant green boogers on the wall at eye level above urinals. Has anybody else noticed this?

Yeah, WTF is up with that?

 

[ODB_PE]

Man, where did you work? That is disgusting. Would your employer not spring for a lock on the bathroom door. I really like working in a place where the bums can't get into the building without a key card and the bathroom is on the 3rd floor with a lock on it.

This was in a 21 story building in downtown Austin - a building that would be considered high-end office space. We were on the 2nd floor and shared the floor with a few other tenants. Our office (this was a non-engineering job) had a lot of client traffic (real estate closings) so they could not "lock" the floor. Another excuse was that the bathrooms were ADA and the bank on the first floor had to have access to them for their customers or something.

At one time building management did put push-button code locks on the doors (after a peeping tom incident in the women's bathroom - that guy was caught) but those bus drivers figured out the code or something because it didn't last long before they were back in there.

Footnote - while the locks were on the doors I had the pleasure of watching a homeless obese woman in a wheelchair squat and pee between cars in the parking lot next to the building. Broad daylight and not too discrete about it.

The whistler was indeed employed in the building, however - we think he was an architect.

 

[csb]

We have a phantom duker who we have been watching...it just came up at the office last week. Turns out it's a lady who works less than half a block from our building, but she DRIVES over to our building to poop. One male coworker said, "Don't they have a bathroom?" to which I replied, "I'm pretty sure they'd fire her after smelling that."

__________________________________________________________________

Dleg, at least you didn't hear the vacuum cleaner running when you went in*!

*Reference- great Car Wash Vacuum Sex story of ought eight.

 

[Chucktown PE]

Whoa, a phantom shitter that plays the field between buildings? That is serious. I used to hit different floors at my old office in the ATL because the 1st floor was always empty but going to a different building would have been tough. And what would a woman want with a vacuum cleaner? Unless she wasn't really a woman. Maybe that is part of the reason she was driving to a different building. She didn't want people in her own building to know she is "transgendered."

 

[DVINNY]

And what would a woman want with a vacuum cleaner?

uhhhh? do you need me to explain this?

 

[Flyer_PE]

This is yet another thread that reminds me just how lucky I am to work from home.

 

[csb]

uhhhh? do you need me to explain this?

"See, son, when a man loves a woman, they get married. Then, after they are married, the daddy is forced to go to the car wash for some play."

 

[Chucktown PE]

Wait a second. Other than the woman using the vacuum cleaner for cleaning purposes I don't see why she would need it, especially in a restroom. Maybe I am missing something and ladies, please weigh in, but what sort of masturbatory activities could a woman use a vacuum for?

 

[csb]

Okay, I edited my post to make it more clear.

 

[EM_PS]

Great googly-moogly, how'd i miss this thread? sheesh, ya study for a little bit. . . (and a couple lunchtime beers w/ a buddy on lay-off)

Dleg, sounds like you need to circulate an inner-office memo describing how public masturbation :jerkit: isn't an individual problem, its everyone's problem. Maybe have some whimsical cartoon illustrations. . .it could be like the talking cigarette in Doonesbury cartoons, but this would be talking spooge i guess. it might educate your co-workers to the seriousness of 'dishonorable discharges' in an office environment.

As to the vacuum, with a flowbee attachment, certainly some 'rug' grooming could be performed . . .

 

[IlPadrino]

Wait a second. Other than the woman using the vacuum cleaner for cleaning purposes I don't see why she would need it, especially in a restroom. Maybe I am missing something and ladies, please weigh in, but what sort of masturbatory activities could a woman use a vacuum for?

Exchange the inlet and discharge and you can go from sucking to blowing... maybe that'd be more suitable.

 

[Sschell]

Exchange the inlet and discharge and you can go from sucking to blowing... maybe that'd be more suitable.

I dont want to be in the room when she hits "off" and deflates like a baloon... pffttttffftttpppfffftttttt.....

this thread is awesome... similar to the vacuum cleaner thread, it seemingly has no where to go downhill to... at least at first... but then it does.

So dleg... any hot female coworkers that could have been the object of his interest? Maybe the guy just loves his job, and his day to day responsibilities just get him off....

no I think Fraz may be right... dleg, he wanted you to catch him.

Maybe you should have discreetly taken the stall next to him and sported a "wide stance"...

 

[engineergurl]

you could just start moaning while he was going at it... then when he stops cause he knows your there... offer him a cigarette and say, "that was great man".

on a side note... at the end of a meeting today over at one of the ACOE buildings, I asked where the ladies room was... every guy looked at me and then looked at each other... and finally one said, I don't think we have one... I thought that was funny... I got to use the "private bathroom"...

 

[frazil]

did anyone find out what an ookie cookie is?

 

[engineergurl]

yes.... it's where a bunch of guys put their "milk" on the cookie and the last one to do so has to eat it...

EDIT:Although there was other variations of this definition on the internet.

 

[Dleg]

^Yes. Just look it up on Urban Dictionary. It's not good.

Some very, very good suggestions in this thread. I wanted to reply to a couple of comments:

What in the hell goes on in offices in the south pacific that would instigate such a thing? I shudder to think.

Ever seen "Bounty" with Mel Gibson? Think back to the scene where the ship arrives in Tahiti and is swarmed with young, topless, nearly bottomless island girls.

And then imagine them all about 200 lbs overweight and badly dressed in stretch pants, etc. So in other words, I have no idea.

What if he wants to be caught by dleg?

STOP IT!

 

[wilheldp_PE]

did anyone find out what an ookie cookie is?

Definitions courtesy of Urban Dictionary.

ookie cookie


step 1) place cookie on table

step 2) gather bored guys (preferably frat members)

step 3) get them to stroke it, last one to cum, eats the spooged cookie



soggy biscuit

a game which rules involve masturbating in a group over a biscuit (prefrebly a plain biscuit) and the first one to shoot his laod wins and the last one has to eat the biscuit!

 

[csb]

oh sure...tomorrow I won't be able to remember the coefficient of active earth pressure, but I'll know what an ookie cookie is...