So far, I have told this story to six people, and three of them have laughed hysterically, and the other three have looked at me like this was the worst story ever told... since I am batting 500 now, I wanted to submit the story to the board for vote: gross or funny (and if you are somewhere in between, then either dont vote or pick which ever one is closest.)
Anyways... last weekend I went to visit my wife, who is in New York on business. I arrived on Friday afternoon and after getting settled, my wife and I went out to a club. After we have been there for a while, my wife decides she wants to dance on the platform next to the dance floor where all the drunk chicks dance... So I am sitting there watching her, relaxing, having a good time.
Along comes this dude, who gets up on the platform and starts dancing with my wife... whatever, doesnt bother me. Then he starts trying to dance closer and closer to her, to the point where she is obviously uncomfortable and then starts trying to push him away. He is not phased and keeps trying to touch her and get closer, rubbing up on her.
AHH HELL NAW!
So I pop up on the platform and swiftly wedge myself between him and her, face to face with him. I firmly grab his *** in my left hand, pull him in close and tight, look him right in the eyes and start slowly grinding on him, with my right hand in the air like a bull rider.
He gets a look of horror and panic in his eyes, and starts to squirm frantically trying to escape.... with no luck. I have him trapped, with my hand still planted on his ***, he is pinned betwen my legs with no way out... being thoroughly grinded upon. Finally he says "ok ok I get it!" and I release him from my grip and he runs away, obviously traumatized.
I was pretty proud of myself, turned to my wife with a **** eating grin on my face... her response: "did he still have a boner when you did that to him?"
